A brief and pointless bit of internet gambling.

I am bad with easy money, and given that I can't drink or drug right now, when $450 from a 6 year old tax return came down the pipe, I got creative in the ways available to piss it away. Actually most of it went to a down payment on a new guitar, and a bunch of old games from GOG, but sitting around bored one night I decided to try some internet gambling. I had only $50 left on a pre paid card, and figured if I got paranoid enough after the fact I could get the # changed. I was basically intending to burn the $50 I had left anyway, but still felt a little bit cheated due to not even really having had a chance.

So I read some reviews,or, most likely paid for ads posing as reviews, and as nothing legitimate was available locally aside from lotto and keno, decided to send my $50 to the Republic of Malta, surely the upstanding government of the R.M. would not allow any skullbuggery. Soon, after downloading their client software I was given an account, and a sign in bonus of $50, boffo keen.

I knew I couldn't just cash out then, casinos are not in the business of giving away money, so onward to the tables. I tried a lot of different games and the play and graphics were quite slick. Then BOOM, I scored $200, playing some slots. Yay!, time to hand back my bonus chips and pay off the guitar!

Not so fast, TDR is going to crucify me for this, but I did not read the fine print about the bonus and what is called the "play through". Any bets you make with the sign in bonus are not made in real money, and as long as you are playing with money given as a bonus, or money won from a bonus, you are essentially playing with funny money, it is non existent until you meet the play through requirement. The play through requirement means you have to wager each bonus dollar a certain number of times, usually 15 to 30 times. This means that despite having $230 in my account, I would need to continue to gamble until the original $50 bonus had racked up $1000 dollars in wagers.

Confused?, I sure as hell was, I set out on a google search to educate myself, something I maybe should have done first, but when have I ever put myself across as a wise man? Let me see if I can explain this better, your bonus is $50, you win another $50 on it then lose it, $50 is then applied to your play through. You lose $30, $30 is then applied to your play through. You win $300, and then lose $200, $200 is then applied to your play through requirements. All the while your original $50 is sitting twiddling it's thumbs. Should you be very lucky, and manage to rack up enough play through money, in the case of my $50 this was $1000, or a "20x playthrough requirement", the money can be withdrawn, and you can cool your heels while a check comes winging from Malta. To further clarify, even if you won $1000 on your first bet, you would still need to lose $1000 before you could access whatever is left.

And it gets better, now aware of the play through requirements, I start betting hard, figuring my best bet is to try to win a big jackpot, meet the play through, and cash out. Of course I lose it all, reckless betting never got anyone ahead. And finally my account reads the original $50, so I decide to call it a day, cash out, and frame whatever check I get in the mail.:confused:My account now reads, $47 cash balance, $3 bonus money, and I can't cash out. Play a little more; cash balance $37, $3 bonus money. You can't even cash out your original deposit till you meet the play through!, even finer print somewhere, but I must have missed it. The $3 sticks around like a drunk at a kegger till my original $50 is gone, and soon I am removing the client software, inputting some foul language into the customer feedback website, and paying another $10 to get my card # changed in case there was something about subscribing to a monthly account transfer I missed.

Soooooo, what have I learned?, if you like to gamble, and I sometimes do, the internet is not the place for it, find a craps game in an alley if you have to, but don't bother with internet gambling unless you are a bored housewife pissing away your husbands money, and even then, do it purely out of spite, and without any intent to do real wagering. All in all, I blew through the $50 in about the same time it have taken me if I had spent it on coke, but it was much less enjoyable.

C/O
"'Warning, you are doing something stupid.', I ignored the flashing red light, and proceeded"

Comments

  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited May 2011
    Online gambling does let you throw around money like a high roller when you are not.

    I too was a member of an online gambling site in Malta - it was in the day when in the UK their was a 10% tax on bookies gambling - on course, in a betting shop or online and I did not want to pay it.

    They did have some primative online pontoon that was real 49%/51% and offered a matching joining bonus of up to £25. They would not let you take any money until you had bet at least £250. By only playing pontoon, and playing it to a rule set, you could walk away with a lot of cash.

    I remember reading the company had been set up by five UK businessmen who had not worked in gambling. They would let people make bets no other bookie would take. That was their end.

    Thread inspiring.
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