I hate my neighbors... how do I get them to move?

ShadyTroll

They are renting the house next to mine. Anything done to them would need to be done ANONYMOUSLY. I'm completely serious about this. I can't stand these fucks & they need to go.

ThirdRockFromTheSun

Dog shit + Lawn = Result.

I don't just mean getting a turd on their lawn "haha now they'll move!!!!" Just get a shit on their lawn. Wait for them to clean it up, place another one, after a few times, put more, and more, and more on. After you've done this several times, try and get to talk with them. You should notice, (not too obviously, or they'll clearly know) that they seem to have dogshit on their lawn, and then say it's just the type of neighborhood, and there is always dog shit and there isn't anything they can do to stop it. Keep placing shit until you see the for-sale sign!

ShadyTroll

ThirdRockFromTheSun wrote: »

Dog shit + Lawn = Result.

I don't just mean getting a turd on their lawn "haha now they'll move!!!!" Just get a shit on their lawn. Wait for them to clean it up, place another one, after a few times, put more, and more, and more on. After you've done this several times, try and get to talk with them. You should notice, (not too obviously, or they'll clearly know) that they seem to have dogshit on their lawn, and then say it's just the type of neighborhood, and there is always dog shit and there isn't anything they can do to stop it. Keep placing shit until you see the for-sale sign!

There already is shit on their yard. They have a ridiculous amount of dogs which is one of the many reasons why I want them to move.

(nameless one)

Shit right on their front door? That or smear shit all over their door knob.

Darth Beaver

Why do all the responses in BI always revolve around feces? Is that the best Totse has to offer these days?

MayorofMonkeytown

Also considering the time, effort and cost involved in moving house people wont pick up stumps over a weekly turd.

ShadyTroll

I was thinking about installing surveillance cameras on the outside of my house & have some of them pointed at the neighbors house & their yard. Then every time I see them I can point to my eyes then point at them, you know like, 'I'm watching you'. I bet they would get really creeped out about always being watched & move. The best part being it would be perfectly legal.

MayorofMonkeytown

ShadyTroll wrote: »

I was thinking about installing surveillance cameras on the outside of my house & have some of them pointed at the neighbors house & their yard. Then every time I see them I can point to my eyes then point at them, you know like, 'I'm watching you'. I bet they would get really creeped out about always being watched & move. The best part being it would be perfectly legal.

Which shall most likely be followed by them actually DOING something rather than just acting like an asshole.

If they are a detriment to your life look at legal ways to move them along - local authority complaints, inform landlord of illegal activities etc.

jehsiboi

Are they renting or do they own the property ... Also you said they have heaps of animals call the RSPCA and tell them you have seen them abusing the animals ( this can be done anonymously) also instead of getting cameras get security lighting and point it so it goes through their windows (get ones that are really sensitive so their animals set it off) and if you own you house start playing music really late/early in the morning ... Mow your yard really fucking early in the morning, let's say just before dawn.. And do it often .. Hire a bum to sleep in there front yard for a month ... Throw salt on their grass ... Throw bird seed on their cars and wait for the birds... I'll will post more ass my brain thinks of them

ThirdRockFromTheSun

Can you break their windows inconspicuously? Not just smashing them with a brick, I mean throwing small stones, making small cracks in them. After having to replace all their windows, I don't think they'll want to stay there.

ventrman

Here is what you do. Get some long Tan colored Twine, a Butter Knife, a Nut off of a Bolt and some Violin Resin. Drill a Hole in one end of the Knife and attach one end of the String. Drive the Blade of the Knife under the Siding on the House and coat you hand with Violin Resin and stroke the String back and forth with your Hand. The knife will Beat against the Side of the House and inside, it will sound like the Place is falling apart. When someone comes outside to look, you merely have to drop the String. They will walk right over it in the dark and will not see it. When they go back inside start up again. A long Period of this will have them seeking another Place. Also, Attach the nut to the String so it will fall right against the House when you drop it.

fag

You could try something dastardly, but it would take some serious prep work..Convince them that they won a free pesticide bombing sweepstakes. Make an imprompteu bugbomb tent, and quarantine the house. While they are out at a hotel, get a large moving truck, load it up with all their shit, and entirely empty out the house. Then bazam, they come home 36 hours later, the house is entirely empty, and they have no idea what the fuck happened. Take it a step further and go to the m4m section on craigslist. Advertise that you're hosting a men-only kinky bondage party, and time it so that they come home to it. Imagine, all your prized possessions gone, dozens of naked leather and latex-clad gay men copulating in the sex dungeon where your daughters playroom used to be. It would be enough to make anybody run. And never look back.


On a more serious note, you could remove one of the foundation vents on their home. Throw about 80 fucking potatoes down thru the opening, and re-affix the vent. Before too long, the house will smell rancid, and he will have a roach infestation from hell. If this doesn't get them to leave, proceed with the aforementioned plan.

chippy

I can hardly imagine any of the above working. Chances are you will get caught doing it. They will end up in the same boat hating you and trying to drive you out. You say they rent, Landlords don't like problem tenants. Keep a log of anything they do that is remotely reportable. Dog shit as you say, barking dogs, any noise they make etc etc. Take pictures, video with sound for the noise. Report then to the police as often as possible and get an incident number. Find out who the landlord is or the agent. Report the incidents to them along with incident numbers. It won't take long for the landlord to get pissed off with these people and move them out.