Howto know if my girl likes it rough

Chris HansenChris Hansen Regular
edited November 2011 in Life
Hello totse.info. I would first like to tell you I cannot make this thread without comming across a little rapey. I would like to inform you I am not a rapist and have no intentions on ever raping. Ever.

Now, lets get down to business and defeat the huns,

I have a sort of personal quandary that I thought I might share. That is how can I know for sure that my girl is okay with getting a little rough in the bedroom? I had some pretty nice sex today (not trying to brag but its slightly important to the thread) and it was getting pretty intense. My girlfriend knows I like it when she bites me and she knows the harder she bites the more I like it (she actually does it in public and it turns me on. That gets a tad difficult with my already high sex drive of being a forever alone internet square for the first 18 years of my life) so that is one thing that shows me she is okay with getting at least a little bit rough. Little bit being the key word.

Now totse I dont want to lie to you. I like to assert my dominance when it comes to getting the sex. I have been doing this thing where I grab her neck (not in a creepy painful way but still with a little force) and kiss her. Hmmmm... Im giving out a lot of info here... ANYWAY! I have noticed that she sometimes averts eye contact in a faux-shy way and this is usually when I do the whole neck thing. She seems to enjoy it as she bites me harder after this activity. But I cant be sure.

I have asked her if I get too rough and she assures me that I am not. But you know how women tend to say one thing and mean the other for some ridiculous reason? I dont know if that is what she is doing. I also would like to assess the situation to find out if I could be more dominant or rough. But that is a difficult question to ask. I feel weird saying "Hey, so can I just dominate you like a motherfucker?".

Being a computer nerd and a general dork (two things I am very proud of mind you!) I do not come across as the most dominant guy. But I can hold my own against another member of my species and various other species. But being the nerdy fellow I am I dont quite get many chances to show my dominance. I wonder if by showing my dominance in the bedroom/car/picknick area/other place to have sex she sees that I am not a wimpy submissive person.

If this thread has been difficult to understand please feel free to ask questions to clear anything up.

So for anyone who skipped most of the post or just needs clarification:
How can I tell if my girlfriend is okay with playing rough?
How can I tell if my girlfriend is okay with me getting more rough?
Does my dominance in the bedroom potentially make up for my otherwise nerdy and dorky demeanor?

Any input would rock. Your experience with being dominant (if you have any experience of being too dominant I would not mind you sharing her reactions so I can tell if I am following that same path) or if you are a female (or bottom) then how do you feel about your partner taking control and dominating you? Any relevant info works.

Thank you for you time fellas!

Comments

  • SlartibartfastSlartibartfast Global Moderator -__-
    edited November 2011
    It doesn't seem like you enjoy being dominant at all, Chris Hansen
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited November 2011
    Slowly moving your hands to restrain her (such as holding both her wrists above her head with one of your hands) or some scratching, might get the message across. Confront her with "you like to bite, so is that all?" or something related to sex and pain and whether she enjoys it.
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited November 2011
    I find girls will be very open and enjoy talking about sex ... Stop pussyfooting around and instead of asking 'am I being to rough' as you may not be being to rough but you may be doing stuff she doesn't enjoy... let her know what you enjoy and ask her what she enjoys ... If she is a mature woman she will tell you ... And knowing what she likes is half the battle ... Again if you want to introduce new stuff to the bedroom don't be shy and just don't do it without letting her know ... Like 'oops I slipped' just be straight up and ask her before hand in a relaxed private setting ' you down with the bumsecks/getting choked ?' ... This mature behavior and relaxed way of dealing with preference in the sack has always worked for me ... And in the end I haven't met a girl that doesn't like to be dominated (in a tasteful way that respects her boundaries)
  • Chris HansenChris Hansen Regular
    edited November 2011
    It doesn't seem like you enjoy being dominant at all, Chris Hansen

    How do you mean good sir?
    jehsiboi wrote: »
    And in the end I haven't met a girl that doesn't like to be dominated (in a tasteful way that respects her boundaries)

    This is a good end to your post saying that you do it in a way that is respectful to her boundries. And that is what I am trying to do. Respect her limits before I do anything stupid.

    All in all good advice fellas. Keep it flowin.
  • SlartibartfastSlartibartfast Global Moderator -__-
    edited November 2011
    How do you mean good sir?
    jehsiboi wrote: »
    I find girls will be very open and enjoy talking about sex ... Stop pussyfooting around and instead of asking 'am I being to rough' as you may not be being to rough but you may be doing stuff she doesn't enjoy... let her know what you enjoy and ask her what she enjoys ... If she is a mature woman she will tell you ... And knowing what she likes is half the battle ... Again if you want to introduce new stuff to the bedroom don't be shy and just do it without letting her know ... Like 'oops I slipped' just be straight up and ask her before hand in a relaxed private setting ' you down with the bumsecks/getting choked ?' ... This mature behavior and relaxed way of dealing with preference in the sack has always worked for me ... And in the end I haven't met a girl that doesn't like to be dominated (in a tasteful way that respects her boundaries)

    ______
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited November 2011
    Lol I'll have to edit that I left the don't out
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