US-UK relations thanks to Piers "I'm a cock" Morgan

RemadERemadE Global Moderator
edited January 2013 in Spurious Generalities
Before I go on, if you don't know who this person is, here's a description from the very balanced and fair

In short, the guy has a show on CNN in the USA where he interviews Celebrities (and people involved in News-worthy current affairs). Unfortunately after the shooting at Sandy Hook, he said this.
piers_morgan.png

Now, despite my views on him I go agree that the 2nd Amendent wasn't going to cover the evolution of firearms and there isn't any mention of muskets or flintlocks in said Amendment. However someone of his position in Society should have just kept his mouth shut. It's an American issue, he's (I hate to say it) one of us, a Brit, and because he didn't there has been a petition to deport him.

I'm sure most have heard of a site called InfoWars, run by a popular guy by the name of Alex Jones.
Despite his popularity among the Conspiracyphiles, Survivalists/Preppers and extreme Patriot bunch, I wasn't sure who I hated most in this "interview". What really pissed me off, is that Mr Jones - a person who openly admits to saying the US Government lies and that 9/11 was staged by the Bush Administration goes and quotes FBI stats.
So saying they lie, then quoting Government stats. Hypocritical?



So the things I moan and groan about - apart from the hypocritical use of statistics.
Here in the UK, "violent crime" is a buzzword (and Piers loves to use them, they appeal to emotive subconscious drives). Stats are being pulled out of everywhere including arses of Politicians and Media Moguls.
So the argument of "The UK doesn't allow guns and they have the highest violent crime rate in Europe!"

Let me break this down for you.
Every society has violent crimes. It's a fact. However the threshold (remember that phrase) differs.

Here in the UK, Piers Morgan was an Editor of a very popular Mid-Right Wing Tabloid. Here, thanks to Fleet Street and the "mob mentality", you get a weird outcome. As violent crime is something which is being put out to dry here, let's look at how it has come to be so.
Newspapers - the main 2 here, are The Daily Mail and The Sun. Both of them are Right Wing, but the Mail appeals mostly to the Middle/wannabe-Upper Class sections of the UK.
The Sun is more the Working Mans paper, they often have campaigns which have been proven to be orchestrated by Government which I wish I could find but this will have to do until then(most notably about immigration - because Polish, Turks and DEM MUSLIMS are taking our jobs). Apparently.
Needless to say they are the 2 biggest selling papers in the UK.

So, violent crime. Where does that come in? In another thread I talked about Gangs in the UK. It's no lie, as said before, that violent crime exists, however the statistics as shown in the video of the "interview" (I use that word very loosely here) is that the stats are really high for the UK. I fear lots of people see this place as one where a burglar, rapist or whatever else you imagine is where homeowners are forced by law to stand and watch while their houses get pillaged, or their Nan gets raped.
That aint true. So why does it seem that way?

Easy. What sells more? A boring, mediocre headline - or one which gets your limbic brain on full alert to fight or leg it and cower away from these imagined threats?
It's quite obvious.
http://imgur.com/OPc2kh

http://imgur.com/OPc2kh

Taken in a Kebab Shop in West London...moments before I was shot in the head by a disabled Muslim man claiming benefits for his 43 offspring, half of whom have links to Al-Qaeda and are planning to blow up your shed. Yes YOUR shed!

So our definition of "violent crime" is one which has been shaped by the Media, lies, fear mongering and a very low threshold. If someone is attacked, charges are obviously going to be pushed to the fullest extent because "violent crime" goes a lot further on the lips and front pages of those who are shouting about it than in the courtrooms which deal with the issue.

In short - in all my years living here, and those of the many I am friends with, none of them have suffered a "violent crime" unless you count assault, which the threshold is so low, it can be verbal. Not owning firearms (or as many as the USA) makes no difference. Our cops shoot innocent people with Tasers, are proud to not have to carry firearms (unless it is the Met Police in Whitehall/Downing Street) as many of them say it would increase tensions between them and their community.
So this thread is just for anyone who thinks that the UK is the "violent crime capital" of Europe. Statistics are easy to make up, big up, falsify and use to suit your own agendas.

And for the Piers Morgan part...
Over here, he is reviled for hacking the voicemails of phones which included celebrities and murder victims (violent crimes - they happened over the course of years and are exceptions to the highest degree). Also he is hated for just generally being a total prick.
He had access to evidence before the families did - and highly personal, emotional and distressing calls. Piers used them to sell his faggot-fucking paper and get more revenue. As for the Celebrity ones, Tabloids make money through exposing them and reducing them to the level of your common pleb-on-the-street (so bringing down say, Charlotte Church or Steve Coogan, they then have no limelight and then are no longer seen as a Celebrity, thus ending up just like your average peasant, making housewife Helen over there feel better about her boring life)
On top of that, if you can imagine the annoying as fuck kid at school, you know, the one who would always try and be cool by making narky comments about someone behind their back with a sneer of almost sexual satisfaction?
Yeah, that is Piers Morgan. Still acting as a kid. Ever since the pasty-bake prick has had access to Twitter his attention (because bad publicity is even good publicity! I think that shows how prepared he is to just sink to new lows, and how he truly functioned as an Editor of a once major British Tabloid) has been ever-increasing and negative.

I offer an olive branch to those in the USA who wish to deport him and agree with you. However, we don't wish to have him over here either. There are probably 5 or 6 people who like him in the whole of the UK (and that is no exaggeration) and so propose the following.

We dump him in the Atlantic Ocean.

And as he is a judge on the neanderthal-level show "Britains Got Talent" or maybe the X-Factor, i don't know, we can turn this thing into a reality show! Just as he makes drama and mocks the contestants on his TV slot, we too can do the same to him.

So when we drop him from a height of about 25ft into the water at a steady speed to cause minor, inconveniencing injuries, we leave some basic survival gear. I can almost hear the "Oh no! Good heavens, HELP ME!" cries now.
So there's an inflatable raft, some flares, a bit of food, water purifier and his own newspapers which he will eventually have to use to either wipe his arse or destroy in some other way.
Over time we can vote in (because everyone knows that the world is interactive and soon enough, wars will have "send in your vote to see which Commander and troops make it to the next skirmish!") and have tasks or punishments for him to do. For example, a whale fucks the raft up, or he gets severe sunburn. I don't know.

In short - we don't want him either, and need to dispose of the cunt somewhere nobody will have to suffer his existence.

Oh, and this. Because it makes me smile :DIan Hislop is a fucking LEGEND.


Comments

  • SlartibartfastSlartibartfast Global Moderator -__-
    edited January 2013
    Piers Morgan is a smarmy narcissist.

    The problem with your papers is that there's too much of it. They're reduced to sensationalism and titillation to sell papers.

    It's been going on for a while, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Maiden_Tribute_of_Modern_Babylon

    Piers is a product of this. He's good at what he does, getting people to pay attention. I doubt he thinks his role is anything else (journalistic credibility be damned). He thinks of himself as an entertainer above all. I personally don't regard him as a credible journalist.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited January 2013
    They are all pundits. I can't change them or what they do so I don't care. I can only make sure I am not like them.
Sign In or Register to comment.