The Anal Eyeballs Story — Totseans

The Anal Eyeballs Story

bornkillerbornkiller AdministratorIn your girlfriends snatch
This is all about a 51 year old Wyoming dude who goes by the name of Roy Tilbott. One particular Thursday morning Roy is rollin down the road, a little tipsy, in his El Camino when he get's a woop, woop from the 5-O who just so happen to be cruisin Wyoming streets harassing the natives on that particular morning.

They make the usual BS excuse that they are doing routine traffic stops, when they're really just trying to rake up enough state revenue to meet their monthly quota. As they ask Roy to get his fat arse outta the vehicle they notice several eyeballs ooze out the right side of Roy's pant leg. When they see this they're like, "WTF?" Due to police logic and a good chance of promotional prospects they think they've just found the missing link to the Jack the Ripper killings. So they draw their guns on poor old Roy and throw him in cuffs.

By this time Roy's like trippin and shittin bricks trying to explain to dumb and dumber that the eyeballs aren't human but are actually cow which he had jacked from his job at "Johnson Meats".

They ask Roy why man, just why? And Roy says to them "I like eating bovine eyeballs, I put them in soups, I ike the texture and taste and the added bonus is they supposedly help erectile dysfunction, which I suffer with.

Roy sobs to them that Johnson Meats won't let any of the employees take anything including the shit they can't sell, such as eyeballs.He goes on to mention how they have no green initiative and throw out all those precious visual anal beads into landfill. Shoving them deep and lovingly in your arse is the only way to owm em.

Censored version: http://crazed.com/wyoming-man-eyeballs-in-cavity/

Comments

  • I'm pretty sure it's too avoid lawsuits. Same way grocery stores send tons of food to the landfill even though technically in most cases it's probably still fine for human consumption. I had a friend in college that got the bulk of his food from dumpster diving. He had the hours all figured out. Interesting aside I thought.
  • bornkillerbornkiller Administrator In your girlfriends snatch
    Gen_Why wrote: »
    I'm pretty sure it's too avoid lawsuits. Same way grocery stores send tons of food to the landfill even though technically in most cases it's probably still fine for human consumption. I had a friend in college that got the bulk of his food from dumpster diving. He had the hours all figured out. Interesting aside I thought.
    One of our supermarkets admitted dumpster diving disrupted the sales of shelved produce making dumpster diving illegal. Makes a hungry person think.....Hmmm..... dumpster, rectum, dumpster, rectum.

    Roy was making excuses for his fetishes. If he were ripping off cow eyeballs specifically for food then why did he "still" have 30 cow eyeballs shoe horned in his poocher like a xmas turkey even after a few drinkies and a thursday morning drive down the road? I doubt it's because he forgot they were there.

  • edited November 2015
    bornkiller wrote: »

    Roy sobs to them that Johnson Meats won't let any of the employees take anything including the shit they can't sell, such as eyeballs.He goes on to mention how they have no green initiative and throw out all those precious visual anal beads into landfill. Shoving them deep and lovingly in your arse is the only way to owm em.

    Censored version: http://crazed.com/wyoming-man-eyeballs-in-cavity/

    Wait.. this is a true story? I was waiting for the punchline! Fucking Gross but funny anyways!
  • bornkillerbornkiller Administrator In your girlfriends snatch
    Fox7 wrote: »
    Wait.. this is a true story? I was waiting for the punchline! Fucking Gross but funny anyways!
    LoL! Ya, it's the real deal. Our world has such a diverse collective of fucked up interests.:D

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