If you had godlike power... — Totseans

If you had godlike power...

RuptureRupture Regular
edited July 2010 in Spurious Generalities
What would you do with it?

I would start by making some serious changes in human society. For starters I would create a deadly virus, that kills within a few days and spreads like a wildfire. The virus would kill about 98% of the population. Only the few who are immune, survive. The empty cities and villages will be left abandoned to be taken back by the wilderness.

People live in small colonies around the world and communicate via the internet. ( Which basically becomes a free communication channel and information library, nothing more) They don't worship me as they worshiped their gods before, but I am known as a being of omnipotence and omnipresence, and they know if they do something I have forbidden, they must face my eternal wrath. Since I know all and see all, crime is pretty much nonexistent. Even those who are only held back by fear of me are vanquished. In the end people don't even think of crime. It will be a thing of the past, their will be no need of it.

I care for their needs and listen to their problems. If someone prays to me at night I listen. If someone cries out to me anywhere in the world, I am there for him. I cure the sick, and heal the wounded. I can do it, since I am a god. I have the power to attend to everyone at once.

I think I would be a good god. Where can I send my application?

Comments

  • DysgraphiaDysgraphia Locked
    edited July 2010
    What a fag.

    I'd kill all the gooks, niggers and spics.

    That's it.
  • acid_dropacid_drop Regular
    edited July 2010
    Abolish bullshit politics. And VD so I can have one night stands and not worry about it afterward.
  • RuptureRupture Regular
    edited July 2010
    Dysgraphia wrote: »
    What a fag.

    I'd kill all the gooks, niggers and spics.

    That's it.

    Shit d00d, you are, like so original!
  • The GeneralThe General Regular
    edited July 2010
    No more terrorists. We would all run in sync not in different countries.
  • MarijuanasaurusMarijuanasaurus Regular
    edited July 2010
    I would create. I wouldnt judge, I wouldnt punish, I wouldnt commend, I wouldnt answer no fucking prayers. Id just smoke a joint and create.
  • FrYFrY Regular
    edited July 2010
    I would do godlike things.
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited July 2010
    I would destroy all life and then myself. The biggest mistake god made was creating life.
  • TransienceTransience Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    I'd appear before different groups of people from different religions and cults, disguised as whatever deity they believe in, and get them to do violent, hateful and batshit insane things. I'd also do the same to atheists and scientific minded people, and instead get them to believe in whatever faith they harbor the most resentment for.
  • VizierVizier Regular
    edited July 2010
    Wow you guys suck at being god. I'd create several other universes and realities and civilizations; something like playing cosmic sims except with more blood and explosions.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited July 2010
    I would glue all your dicks in your mouths.
  • edited July 2010
    I'd say fuck this shit called Kosmos and I'd go into the Great Brahma Sleep.
  • Fetus-SmasherFetus-Smasher Regular
    edited July 2010
    I'd sick my dick in anything. I'd plow a penguin.
  • DysgraphiaDysgraphia Locked
    edited July 2010
    Mayberry wrote: »
    I would destroy all life and then myself. The biggest mistake god made was creating life.

    Are you fucking serious?

    Timeout for being retarded!!! :facepalm:
  • MooseKnuckleMooseKnuckle Regular
    edited July 2010
    dick is sick?
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited July 2010
    Dysgraphia wrote: »
    Are you fucking serious?

    Timeout for being retarded!!! :facepalm:

    At the time I wrote it, I had a thought in mind that if I, as a lifeform, am willing to destroy all life, then life is really stupid.

    Now I realized it doesn't make sense at all :facepalm:
  • Totse BotTotse Bot Banned
    edited July 2010
    I'd make a fire hydrant explode, cause a woman's dress to fly up, all while singing "I've got the power!"

    :facepalm:
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    I would fuck wires and chase away my fellow totseans. Oh wait.......
  • Pill PopperPill Popper Regular
    edited July 2010
    I would reap a terrible vengeance on .... EVERYONE
  • NumberjumboNumberjumbo Regular
    edited July 2010
    Rupture wrote: »
    What would you do with it?

    I would start by making some serious changes in human society. For starters I would create a deadly virus, that kills within a few days and spreads like a wildfire. The virus would kill about 98% of the population. Only the few who are immune, survive. The empty cities and villages will be left abandoned to be taken back by the wilderness.

    People live in small colonies around the world and communicate via the internet. ( Which basically becomes a free communication channel and information library, nothing more) They don't worship me as they worshiped their gods before, but I am known as a being of omnipotence and omnipresence, and they know if they do something I have forbidden, they must face my eternal wrath. Since I know all and see all, crime is pretty much nonexistent. Even those who are only held back by fear of me are vanquished. In the end people don't even think of crime. It will be a thing of the past, their will be no need of it.

    I care for their needs and listen to their problems. If someone prays to me at night I listen. If someone cries out to me anywhere in the world, I am there for him. I cure the sick, and heal the wounded. I can do it, since I am a god. I have the power to attend to everyone at once.

    I think I would be a good god. Where can I send my application?
    This would be pwn.
  • [][][][][][][][] Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    I'd sterilize everyone just to see if people would go all crazy like Children of Men, beside that nothing else.
  • BitterConflictBitterConflict Regular
    edited July 2010
    I would make a disease that would wipe out more than 75% of the human population. Even though this might sound dumb, I would revert the internet back to the way it was in the late 90's and early 00's, because technology right now is kind of excessive and government be crazy. Never mind, fuck what I'm saying I would make a terrible God.

    As of right now, God is doing a perfect job right now. He could tone down the suffering a little but overall, I'm okay with this.
  • Name's TakenName's Taken Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    Rupture wrote: »
    I think I would be a good god. Where can I send my application?

    Genocide and abolishment of free will. Sounds great brah. :facepalm:

    I'd leave people to their own devices. I wouldn't meddle, it's not my place to. Until i got bored and started fucking with reality.
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited July 2010
    I would take out all the niggers including ZOK.
  • CaesarCaesar Regular
    edited July 2010
    I would give the dolphins the technology to start WW3 with the humans.
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited July 2010
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited July 2010
    72 virgins every night motherfuckers.
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited July 2010
    Caesar wrote: »
    I would give the dolphins the technology to start WW3 with the humans.

    Is this close enough for you?
  • Totse BotTotse Bot Banned
    edited July 2010
    lol @ all the materials we're posting in response to that.

  • MorningsideMorningside Regular
    edited July 2010
    I would burn people for eternity if they didn't follow the arbitrary rules I made up for the lulz.
  • edited July 2010
    I'd probably just muck around with my god powers until something went wrong. Then I'd use my god powers to fix the problems :D
  • SlappySlappy Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    2 chicks at the same time, man.
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited July 2010
    Slappy wrote: »
    2 dudes at the same time, man.

    Fix'd, yw.
  • edited July 2010
    Fix all the problems, go back and save people I cared about, etc.

    Things would be perfect. Sadness and wanting would be memories and anyone seeking to interrupt the peace, happiness and plenty of the world would be destroyed.
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    I'd make shittons of perfect women, fuck them all, and then send them off to bear demi gods.
  • jarkofjarkof Regular
    edited July 2010
    Damn I didn't even think about the chicks. Female orgy time every night and I am the king. And they will do to me as I say.
  • HTS-NoobHTS-Noob Regular
    edited July 2010
    Same thing the real God does. Nothing. I might make another universe to keep myself preoccupied, but for the most part I'd just enjoy watching you guys and subtly guiding you along the path I see fit by dropping the odd Einstein and Tesla to help you guys out.
    fanglekai wrote: »
    I'd make shittons of perfect women, fuck them all, and then send them off to bear demi gods.

    species-spotlight-grizzly-bear-brown-mouth-open-black-nose-attacking-growling-biting-photo.jpg

    THEY'D JUST EAT ALL YOUR PERFECT WOMEN THEY MAY BE DEMIGODS BUT THEY'RE STILL BEARS. :mad:
  • HTS-NoobHTS-Noob Regular
    edited July 2010
    fanglekai wrote: »

    Oh, you learn something new every day. Now that you've educated me, I feel obligated to make a joke about how one could interpret the sentence you wrote either way because bear is a homonym.

    Oh wait. ;)
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    When I saw what you did thar I laughed, though. That was pretty funny to interpret it the other way.
  • Big baby jesusBig baby jesus Regular
    edited July 2010
    I do have "god-like power" If by that you mean God's actual power.
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited July 2010
    I do have "god-like power" If by that you mean God's actual power.

    Nonexistent? :cool:
  • Big baby jesusBig baby jesus Regular
    edited July 2010
    Mayberry wrote: »
    Nonexistent? :cool:

    Reflective across every facet, motherfucker :mad:
  • kfc v lotkfc v lot Regular
    edited July 2010
    I would act a bit like Loki and just put people in some fucked up situations but only on those I judge as evil... Also I'd walk around and try and get started on then send my attacker to a really random play such as a car park in Polynesia then when try and leave send them to a multi story car park in Russia and keep toying with them till their sanity starts to melt then put them back where I found them..
    Also I would deliver vengeance on those I deem deserving...
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