Dark Kaiser seeks help of the Totseans
I'm posting this on behalf of Dark Kaiser
I'm the asshole friend by the way
So there’s this girl who lives literally a few houses down from me. I’ve been into her for quite a while and on past occasions she was always in a relationship (one of those girls that holds a boyfriend for a long time) so I was unable to make my move. But I’m patient. About a week ago I saw on her Facebook page that she’d just broken up with her current BF. I wasted no time in getting chatting to her through FB and asked her out for coffee.
I’ve never really had any significant contact with her before now and we met this evening and it went really well – better than I would’ve expected. We talked about the usual random shit. School, uni, jobs, movies, weekend activities blah blah. I’m a pretty shy guy and usually find myself with awkward silences during theses things, but I’d popped a few anti-anxiety pills before I left and after a few minutes I was totally chilled and we ‘clicked’ pretty well.
I got a lift home with her in her car and told her I really enjoyed it and we should get together and go clubbing or something next weekend or something, and she said yeah we should. We said goodbye and I think I made it pretty obvious how I felt, and don’t think I’m wrong in thinking it was mutual.
Anyway, this asshole friend of mine told me I should’ve kissed her. I’m pretty incompetent in these matters but is it the norm for two people relatively new to each other to kiss on a first date? I won’t say I wouldn’t have liked too, and when I looked at her I thought it might’ve gone down fine, but then I don’t want to get slapped either. Lol Input?
Comments
So sayeth Dark Kaiser, self proclaimed exalted master of Bad Ideas:
"well since i didnt do that [the kissing], ask them what i should do now
before i got out the car we were looking at each other and i thought '...should I?' nah, no way"
You wasted the chance, try to hookup next time. She already had a BF and she might want to take things slow. Next time be super POSITIVE and try to make her feel comfortable. Like comfort her so she feels secure and might think of you as a reliable mate. You will get another chance to kiss and this time go for the cheeks. I know it feels awkward and like WTF but if you're planning to impress her, this might make it easier. But if wants the head on kiss, don't shy away from it. But keep your hands in control. You don't hand her to think you're like the other fools.
In short,
A) Try to hook up next time.
C) If you get a chance to kiss and you feel she isn't ready for it, go for the cheeks.
D) If she hints that she might want to have full kiss, DON'T be shy about it.
E) Keep your hands in control, try to touch in places which scream comfort, that means no ass grabbing etc.
Girls like to over think, whatever you do she will think about in the next day and the day after. She will get confused and might make the wrong conclusion. You have to know that property and try to exploit it. If she has a good time and feels comfortable around you, she will think about it. That alone will make it easier for her to break her old BF bond.
Good luck and don't fuck it up.
Yeah. As I said, I considered kissing her, but I'm not very good at 'reading' these situations. I mean, in my mind if I did that she'd probably object and tell me to piss off. Anyway. I've learned for next time. Hopefully this weekend if she ain't too busy we'll hook up again and put the collective wisdom of S&A to the test. And if it all goes horribly wrong, I'll know who to blame
MooseKnuckle is right. Also, it'd be your own damn fault if you fuck it up. You don't get to blame us for failing to make a move. ALWAYS make a move. Don't bother trying to read the situation. We're men and we can't read women like that, especially not in the dark. So always assume the girl is into you and try to kiss her.
Yeah. If she doesn't reciprocate or looks offended you can always easily just transform your kiss into a rape so that it isn't awkward. So there is really no way it could go wrong or be embarrassing for you if you know what you are doing.
Await the results?
Do you give her a feedback form to complete and mail you within 12 days?
48 hours :mad:
Update us after the second date!
I don't know if it's true or not, however.
I would say just go for it, there is something to bet on and you've got nothing to lose.
Agent 008 is right. If you don't kiss her by the second date, you've pretty much lost all chance to get with her unless you're both drunk. You have to show interest.
Also, do NOT try to kiss her in front of her friends. You haven't kissed her before. She'll freak out and reject you or be too concerned about what her friends are thinking so she'll reject you even if she originally wanted you. Wait til you're actually bangin her to kiss her in front of her friends.
This.
It will be real helpful if her friends like you, but I would advise to seek privacy whenever possible.
People act differently in big groups.