...What the fuck do I do, totse?
Too much to explain...
My girlfriend's parents are divorced, she is 16, I'm 17. She lived with her mother in a town next to the one I live in for the last few months, until she started screaming and throwing things at her, she was afraid she would hit her. Her mother has mental issues.
So, we arranged with her dad (Since he legally has custody of her) to sneak her out of her moms house and bring her back. The time came one night when her mother started yelling at her little sister because the lights were too bright (Yeah).
Now that's over and done with...her dad isn't much better.
Super christian, first off. Second, he isn't going to allow her to live with him because his wife (her stepmother) hates her, and they say she will be a bad influence on their children. This is due to her past, as she has run away and tried to escape to the next state over (Last year, fear of being wrongly sent to a mental institution /again/. Like I said, her parents are batshit insane).
So, this is where it gets a bit more fucked. First it was, she can't live with him, he's going to find her a place to live. He can't, so she suggests one of her many friends houses. They won't let her, because if she "were to steal a car", they'd still be responsible for her. Then she tried to go to the homeless teen center, but they wouldn't have any of that, either.
So after a few days, she's going to live with her dad and stepmother. The three of them sat down, her stepmother repeated to her the entire time, "You're not special. You're not. Everyone lied to you. You're not special", as her dad told her about how much she was going to hell for the 'sins' she has committed against her family, and how she's going to burn in hell for all eternity.
So, after a while of that, they told her their rules. Apparently they told her she has to give them every password she has. Can only see one friend out side of school, once a week, for a few hours. It gets worse, but I don't want to make this longer than it has to be.
They threaten to kick her out otherwise, but legally they can't, as she isn't 18 years old. She has reason to believe they'll kick her out, and once she finds a place to stay they'll call the police and say she ran away again, and get her sent to juvie. Knowing these people, I really wouldn't put it past them.
I can't fucking stand this. She deserves better, but I know there aren't many options here besides emancipation.
Before her parents got divorced, they were physically abusive as well as mentally. She has called CPS before, but they never do a thing. I'm thinking some stealthy recording of how 'unspecial' she is and how she's going to 'burn in hell', along with some other information would get her out of that house if presented to a court, but there's no way I'm leaving her.
Neither of us can think of anything to do...does anyone have any possible suggestions here?
My girlfriend's parents are divorced, she is 16, I'm 17. She lived with her mother in a town next to the one I live in for the last few months, until she started screaming and throwing things at her, she was afraid she would hit her. Her mother has mental issues.
So, we arranged with her dad (Since he legally has custody of her) to sneak her out of her moms house and bring her back. The time came one night when her mother started yelling at her little sister because the lights were too bright (Yeah).
Now that's over and done with...her dad isn't much better.
Super christian, first off. Second, he isn't going to allow her to live with him because his wife (her stepmother) hates her, and they say she will be a bad influence on their children. This is due to her past, as she has run away and tried to escape to the next state over (Last year, fear of being wrongly sent to a mental institution /again/. Like I said, her parents are batshit insane).
So, this is where it gets a bit more fucked. First it was, she can't live with him, he's going to find her a place to live. He can't, so she suggests one of her many friends houses. They won't let her, because if she "were to steal a car", they'd still be responsible for her. Then she tried to go to the homeless teen center, but they wouldn't have any of that, either.
So after a few days, she's going to live with her dad and stepmother. The three of them sat down, her stepmother repeated to her the entire time, "You're not special. You're not. Everyone lied to you. You're not special", as her dad told her about how much she was going to hell for the 'sins' she has committed against her family, and how she's going to burn in hell for all eternity.
So, after a while of that, they told her their rules. Apparently they told her she has to give them every password she has. Can only see one friend out side of school, once a week, for a few hours. It gets worse, but I don't want to make this longer than it has to be.
They threaten to kick her out otherwise, but legally they can't, as she isn't 18 years old. She has reason to believe they'll kick her out, and once she finds a place to stay they'll call the police and say she ran away again, and get her sent to juvie. Knowing these people, I really wouldn't put it past them.
I can't fucking stand this. She deserves better, but I know there aren't many options here besides emancipation.
Before her parents got divorced, they were physically abusive as well as mentally. She has called CPS before, but they never do a thing. I'm thinking some stealthy recording of how 'unspecial' she is and how she's going to 'burn in hell', along with some other information would get her out of that house if presented to a court, but there's no way I'm leaving her.
Neither of us can think of anything to do...does anyone have any possible suggestions here?
Comments
But really, I don't know what you could do man. The recording thing seems a bit extreme. I would just keep trying with Social Services until you get someone that genuinely cares and will look into things. If you and your girlfriend both tell them about the mental/physical abuse, someone will listen and do something about it eventually, you just need to find the right agent. There are people out there that will help. If that doesn't help though, I would take it to court and see what they can do about it.
I was just thinking this. Seriously though OP, I have no idea what I'd do. Sounds like a pretty tricky situation
She has a few options. Most of them aren't very good since she's only 16. She could record the abuse and then have evidence. I suggest she do this as it would allow her to call CPS or the cops. If her parents beat her she needs to call the cops asap.
As for her passwords, have her make fake accounts. Voila.
She could run away to another state with your help. If you have enough money for bus fare that's all you need. Once she's in another state she can seek asylum. The best idea is for her to go to school and let her parents think she's there and then leave from there to the bus stop. She'll have an all day head start. For this to work she'll need to pack clothes and stuff in her bag and I suggest getting a duffel or some bigger bag and have her stuff it with stuff and throw it out her window the night before and have you or someone pick it up and give it to her at school the next day right before she leaves. This way she'll have plenty of gear.
Or she could just put up with it and/or quote the bible right back at them. If she plays the game she could probably have it ok there.
So you've got 3 options:
1. suck it up
2. run away
3. get evidence and call CPS/cops
This would be win.
they really will do something about it. it would be really helpful if you took video and presented it when you first go talk to him or her.:thumbsup:
also let her stay with you , then good pussy for you every night.
EDIT: even if they barely do anything still go to the hospital especially if its visible any amount of abuse is illegal and can be used to fight back
No chance she can live with me, for many reasons. I wish. Once we both find a job, though, we can find a place to rent out. Though, she'll probably have to turn 18 with how controlling her parents are. At the moment I run nearly every machine in our schools metal shop (Plasma cutters, lathes, wirefeed/stick/spot welders, milling machines, I'm personally responsible for the CNC plasma cutter), it'd be great if I could find a job in that field. Autocad drafters/designers get paid pretty good, too.
I went with her to her mothers today to help get her stuff, after that awkwardness, went to her fathers house and met his wife.
I'll admit they are pretty convincing, but it is obvious it's just an act. Every so often they'll let something slip, and I've caught them every time and made a note of it.
He's all about control, from what I've seen. He frequently interrupts her, then tells her to not talk over him, not to backtalk, etc. The way his tone of voice changes, how he talks to her...I went there doubting few things, but it's obvious she's right. He has zero respect for woman, which is shown rather frequently. Everything I saw matches with what she tells me.
For anyone saying to leave this chick behind, not a chance. Trust me.
On the plus side, it looks like she may have found a place to stay. Since her dad won't let her stay with anyone that doesn't attend their church, she found some people she's known for a while that hate her mother and father, and have personally seen how underhanded they are. They're already ready to take her in and lie to her father about following 'his' rules (No 6:00 PM curfew), he just has to agree to it, chances are he will since the house is about a block from the school and is actually in town, so she can get a job.
If she can have a better home, she'll be fine. Pursue that option.
:facepalm:
You must love her to stick around. sounds like you are a good person a nd care a lot
Would only work if they were willing and that they could prove abuse
Truthfully this would be the best
How many times have parents been screwed by school's reporting parents
I must commend you for sticking up for her
Why the fuck would someone
freeze soap?
Might as well get as many opinions as I can
Hopefully she can convince him to let her stay there. If not, there is one more possibility. One of my best friends grandparents (My friend left for instrumentation (electronics and robotics) college) might take her in, and these people are about the kindest, most intelligent people I've met. His grandfather is amazing at engineering and machining... the only problem is that they are temporarily away for vacation.
I doubt it's worth the hassle.
I know it'd be a dickmove to dump her right now, but unless you want to deal with her problems, you're probably better off without her. Judging from your description, she doesn't seem that sane to be honest. Anyone with physically/mentally abusive parents, would learn to cope with them, I did.
Mind telling us what state she resides in? All I know is that a phone call to the cops from an under-aged teen in New York, is enough to start a serious investigation regarding the child's home and parents. If that doesn't work, try telling her to provoke ONE of her parents in physically abusing her. Nothing says proof like a physical fresh marking.
Best of luck to the both of you!
For now it's all mental, derogatory statements towards her. If he was still being physically abusive...or if he becomes physically abusive...she has me, and about 4 other friends who would be paying a visit to him.
We live in Washington. The problem is, with her record and them being 'respectable christians', who are the cops going to believe?
I hope she moves in with the other people, otherwise all I can really do is make sure she's safe until she's 18. Thanks for all the comments.
Sorry man
She's already tried, right before she met me...bathtub + lots of sleeping pills apparently doesn't work as well as some might think.
Trying to resist the urge to send cryptic, threatening messages from a annon-email to her email, knowing he'll read them. Goddamn it...it's pissing me off knowing there's jack shit I can do here.
The only thing he is unaware of is that she has MSN on his computer, and has it set to auto-delete all chat logs.
I wouldn't send any emails on the off chance his paranoia causes him to blame her and make things worse.
This. Don't get ahead of your game here, take it easy and only strike when necessary. Chill bro, huff raid etc.
Exactly why I didn't...
I know...I feel so goddamn worthless doing nothing. There's not much I really can do, though.
When the time comes, you can strike
The recording thing is actually a pretty good idea if you actually plan on seeking authorities; due to her history it's likely they'll want evidence before they get off their asses.