What makes a man?

culinaryoverlord · February 2011

This was inspired by another thread, but I think the question deserves it's own playground.

What character traits and actions do you think qualify a person to hold his head up high and say to the world: "I am a man"?

Is it physical, does a talent for whupping ass, or the ability to work hard, give a person that right?

Is it mental, does the ability to solve problems, keep a cool head, and get shit done make a humble "dude" into a manly man. How about leadership?

I have a few traits I consider important;

Honesty; Don't lie, unless surrounded by liars, and never lie to yourself.
Fidelity; Be true to those you choose as your friends, live up to the commitments you choose to take on.
Individuality; Fuck the fucking fuckers, let no one judge you.
Capability; Be well rounded, know a little about lots of different things, get around, explore.

I could go on a bit, but I will leave it to the community to decide;

What makes a man a man?

C/O
"I am a man, man"

StephenPBarrett · February 2011

I was once told by a person I highly respect that to be a man means doing what you need to do especially when you don't want to do it.

Mantikore · February 2011

A drive to do what needs to be done. Often, that means dedicating oneself to learning the required skills or made efforts to prepare

FATTY_MCFUCKFACE · February 2011

mmmmmmmm
That and a pair of testicles.

Mayberry · February 2011

Not a vegetarian.

RemadE · February 2011

*walks into thread*

*leaves thread*

No really. I'll write something later.

Dysgraphia · February 2011

A man is someone who abides his own set of rules despite of what others might deem wrong.

A man is someone who is intellectually free and isn't restricted by religion, society or another barrier.

A man has a penis and a pair of testicles too.

Indulgence · February 2011

Mayberry wrote: »

Not a vegetarian.

This.

RogueEagle91 · February 2011

RemadE beat me to the punch. You son of a bitch.

Darth Beaver · February 2011

culinaryoverlord wrote: »

Honesty; Don't lie, unless surrounded by liars, and never lie to yourself.
Fidelity; Be true to those you choose as your friends, live up to the commitments you choose to take on.
Individuality; Fuck the fucking fuckers, let no one judge you.
Capability; Be well rounded, know a little about lots of different things, get around, explore.

These are all things I agree with and I would add the following.

Beauty

The ability to appreciate and respect those things in the world which are truly beautiful. There is beauty in all of natures creations. But a man also needs to remember to honor the beauty of destruction. While creation is beautiful, without destruction to temper it, it runs wild and makes everything into a cosmic junk pile. A man knows the balance of nature and kind find the beauty in the things lesser beings fear.

Strength

Strength is the balancing attribute of beauty. I am not talking about the ability to lift heavy objects I am talking about true strenght. Strength is the ability to stand fast in the face of opposition. By using strengh to overcome the obstacles life throws in our path, by moving through adversity by force of will, a man gains true strength.

Power

When a man has true power it sometimes manifests in the ability to lead others. A good leader is man who has the power to move decisively on behalf of a group, and to inspire the group to fulfill its goals, is a wonderful asset.

Compassion

A man has the compassion to feel for others and realizes that it is the natural balance of the virtue of power. A compassionate man moves forward and embraces others, regardless of difference; he looks out not only for "its own kind," but for all beings, simply because they are.

Honor

Honor appears in balance with humility; therefore, a man must take honor to mean, in part, respect for ourselves. A man with honor is someone who pays respect to others. Living by a code of honor is also a source of power, as it trains the will and enforces a connection to the ethics by which we should live. A man must remember, through the lessons of compassion, that other cultures have different codes of honor, and react to members of those cultures accordingly. Appropriate behavior varies greatly from one society to another.

Humility

A humble man looks at his shortcomings. He must do this with compassion toward himself. As well he should against believing or hoping that he can be perfect, or wishing that he could be. Like Clint Eastwood said in Magnum Force, "A man should know his limitations".

Mirth

Mirth balances all the virtues and their opposites: it can help create beauty where there is ugliness, give courage to those who feel powerless, and deflate power and honor when they become too heavy with their own importance. A mirthful man is a balanced man. In other words be able to appreciate the LULZ.

Reverence

A reverent man is a respectful man and understands that reverence is necessary to balance of mirth. Of all these qualities reverence can be themost dangerous for it's dark side is zealotry and zealotry leads a man to falsely believe that the ends justify the means.

Slartibartfast · February 2011

If—
Rudyard Kipling

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

fr0st_Byte · February 2011

C/O all of those sound great but if you really want to know the question ITT you need to ask Rosie O'Donnell.

Turd_Smasher · February 2011

Knows how to use tools.

Knows how to work and build.

Has razor sharp facial stubble.

Does'nt whine.

Prefer's Dos Equis.

skomskus · February 2011

A man is someone who gets shit done.
Someone with integrity, responsibility, and discipline.
In this way, a lowly nerd or a towing bastion of male can both be a man, granted they have these traits, and a penis and ballsack.

Vizier · February 2011

I think DarkRodent hit the spot. Being a man is more than owning a penis and balls; it's proving the world that you can win at the game of life. Well not really because we all die, but you get the point.

Being a man is being someone who gains the respect of other human beings.

Mr.Happy · February 2011

Make your own way in the world, and do what's necessary to make it. Strive to achieve your goals, but don't tread on others to do so. Do not shy from responsibility when necessary and appropriate. Stick up for yourself, but don't put others down. Don't give in to the temptation to be unnecessarily violent, vengeful or hurtful. Treat others with respect and fairness, but don't let them use you or take from you more than they give back. Be honest, but know how to keep a secret. Be reasonable, calm and level-headed, but don't be afraid to show your emotions. Form your own opinions, but be open to those of others. Be a generous and trustworthy friend, an attentive and unselfish lover, a devoted and caring partner, a competent and hardworking employee.

Above all, respect yourself. Respect your body; keep yourself clean, fit and healthy. Respect your mind; keep yourself stimulated, educated and broad-minded. Respect your home; keep it clean, tidy and aesthetic.

fr0st_Byte · February 2011

Vizier wrote: »

I think DarkRodent hit the spot. Being a man is more than owning a penis and balls.

He hit the spot eh? Much lulzy sensed.

:hai:

Sorry man, I couldn't resist. :facepalm:

Negrophobe · February 2011

A boy becomes a man when direction is found in his life and he's willing to take the necessary risks to reach his goals. He's found his identity and is comfortable in his own shoes. He's responsible for himself and takes responsibility for his choices and actions. He's independent. He shovels the fucking gravel. He also has integrity and respect for himself and others.

Getting straight to the point, you're a man once you become your own person and do not rely on your parents. Simply dismiss whatever a woman thinks a real man or being a real man is, they can't decide on what they want themselves nor do they know ANYTHING about what it takes to be a man until they grow a penis between their legs and learn about taking responsibility and looking after themselves. Don't entertain the concocted notions made by females as to what a man is.

Negrophobe · February 2011

Here's a wonderful short article I've got saved that is relevant to the topic and it really puts things into perspective.

The Secret of Life: Shut up and shovel the fuckin' gravel.

The entire secret of life, of power, of everything, was taught to me when I was a teenager, by a man, a farmer. And he taught it to me in the way that is so typical of men: three sentences, no more. I contend that the real conflict today is not male versus female, but urban versus agrarian values. When people forget where their food and fiber comes from, when they forget the natural processes and timetables that produce them, when they start looking for someone else to "hand over" what they want and stop taking the responsibility for producing it themselves, when they replace hard work with belligerence and aggression, they lock themselves into downward spirals of helplessness, powerlessness, and anger.

I taught this same lesson to a woman "friend" of mine. It took me two years. During the entire time she was doing her best to manipulate and harass me into a "romantic" relationship that I had absolutely no interest whatsoever in allowing to happen. It took many screaming matches and finally the threat to throw her out of my life for her to "get it", but she finally "got it" and today she credits me with saving her life, her soul, and her sanity, and has become a friend.

The farmer's name was Griff. I was a "townie" (population 300) and made good money for a teenager as a "hired hand". One day when I showed up for work he said "We're going to pick up a new truck." We got in his car and the entire 40 minute ride to the dealer passed without either of us saying a word: One of those easy comfortable silences that men often use to communicate more than words ever can. We picked up a new 4-wheel drive ¾ ton pickup and headed back to the farm. When we got back, he pointed to a large gravel pile by the barn and told me to fill the truck bed with gravel and go fill in a hole in the entrance to one of his fields.

I said "But that gravel will ruin the paint on the bed of this brand new truck." He looked at me silently for about a minute, his expression eloquently saying that I was the worst idiot he'd ever been burdened with having to tolerate in his life. Without saying another word he picked up the shovel and, with a swing that would be the envy of every major league baseball hitter, he swung it around and smacked the side of the truck sending paint chips flying in ever direction and leaving a huge dent. He looked at me again with that same "I can't believe you are such an idiot" look and said: "City boy this is a FARM truck. I didn't buy it to look pretty, I bought it to DO WORK, same reason I'm payin' you. Now it ain't new no more, so shut up and shovel the fuckin' gravel." Then he turned around and walked off, leaving me to feel foolish and gain wisdom.

Of course it took the entire context and circumstances for me to understand the full significance of the lesson: not with my head but with my spirit. In the same way, cultures world wide and throughout history have used ritual space to teach the great lessons to the young. Complexity and too many words destroy the lesson, because the very heart and soul of the lesson is that words accomplish nothing. Words do not put in crops. Words do not harvest them or get them to market or prepare them or put them on our plates. No one eats unless someone shuts up and shovels the fuckin' gravel.

The entire secret of male power is that men do, men have, shut up and shoveled the fuckin' gravel. Men shoveled the gravel that built all the hydroelectric dams which provide the electric power which everyone today takes for granted; some of that "Patriarchal technology" that some women are so fond of sneering at. Men put their sweat and, about 50 of them, their very bodies into Hoover dam. Then they "handed over" the result to women to make their lives more comfortable. The millions of tons of gravel which went in to building the transcontinental railway were shoveled by men. And hundreds of their bodies went into it as well. Women and men living today would have none of the conveniences which make their lives so comfortable if millions of men had not shut up and shoveled the fuckin' gravel. All the lawsuits and affirmative action programs in the world could not have built them. Those men did not wait for someone to "hand over" those dams or that railroad to them, they shut up and shoveled the fuckin' gravel and built them. Hoover dam is "male dominated", the transcontinental railroad is "male dominated" because men put their time, their work, their sweat, and their very bodies into building them. Everything that we see in the world today, from business to the military, that is "male dominated" is so because men died to build it.

That is both men's power and their powerlessness.

They shut up and shoveled the fuckin' gravel.

What makes a man?

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