Its Post Apocalyptia, What is Your Role?

StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
edited March 2011 in Spurious Generalities
Say that the "end of the world" occurs be it nuclear holocaust, xxombies, an asteroid or whatever and now societies have started to reestablish themselves. What would your role be in a post apocalyptic world? I would probably be a trader or a cook.
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Comments

  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited February 2011
    I would hunt those who tired to harm the defenseless.
  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited February 2011
    Say that the "end of the world" occurs be it nuclear holocaust, xxombies, an asteroid or whatever and now societies have started to reestablish themselves. What would your role be in a post apocalyptic world? I would probably be a trader or a cook.

    Some kind of crafting, construction, most likely farming though.
  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited February 2011
    I would attempt to seize power since no government would likely exist.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited February 2011
    *Puts DS on his "To Hunt List"*
  • ducklipsducklips Regular
    edited February 2011
    I was going to say repopulate the world but that would imply sex with lots of people and that's not cool so . . .Seamstress I'll make all ya'lls clothes
  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited February 2011
    ducklips wrote: »
    I was going to say repopulate the world but that would imply sex with lots of people and that's not cool so . . .Seamstress I'll make all ya'lls clothes

    Cram it baby maker. You'll take dick, and you'll like it.
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited February 2011
    ducklips wrote: »
    I was going to say repopulate the world but that would imply sex with lots of people and that's not cool so . . .Seamstress I'll make all ya'lls clothes

    Seamstress is nice but your first idea was a good one too. Post Apocalytia will need brothals and hookers.
  • LostInTheWoodsLostInTheWoods Regular
    edited February 2011
    Hunting, fishing and general food gathering.
    Someone gotta bring home teh bacon...

    Also some limited knowledge of plant growing and basic blacksmithing and construction.
  • MooseKnuckleMooseKnuckle Regular
    edited February 2011
    i'll fight of the xxombies with my dick, or just stockpile weapons.
  • ducklipsducklips Regular
    edited February 2011
    buddha wrote: »
    Cram it baby maker. You'll take dick, and you'll like it.

    If its my duty I shall

    However,

    There's no way that I could be the only baby maker. The populations needs to be diverse. Where are all the other baby makers???

    and I call Head baby maker CEO of baby makers
  • ducklipsducklips Regular
    edited February 2011
    Seamstress is nice but your first idea was a good one too. Post Apocalytia will need brothals and hookers.

    Just call me the Madame then :p

    shit, if its gonna go down like that I better be running it and saying who and when and to whom
  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited February 2011
    ducklips wrote: »
    If its my duty I shall

    Don't worry, I'll help you.
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited February 2011
    ducklips wrote: »
    Just call me the Madame then :p

    shit, if its gonna go down like that I better be running it and saying who and when and to whom

    Can I get a discount since I gave you this brilliant business idea?
  • edited February 2011
    I would hunt those who tired to harm the defenseless.

    You should run around at night in spandex and fight crime.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited February 2011
    You should run around at night in spandex and fight crime.


    Aww how cute, my little puppy follows me around the board. Too bad he has a bowel control problem. I may have to euthanize him soon.
  • edited February 2011
    Aww how cute, my little puppy follows me around the board. Too bad he has a bowel control problem. I may have to euthanize him soon.

    Oooooh... I just hope you don't take me out totse style like your friend -SpectraL did to the paki :rolleyes:
  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited February 2011
    Aww how cute, my little puppy follows me around the board.

    :hai::hai::hai::hai::hai::hai::hai::hai::hai:
    :p
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited February 2011
    Fatty I really thought you would do better after 3 days off. You are failing hard son.
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited February 2011
    Fatty, what would your role be?
  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited February 2011
    Fatty, what would your role be?

    Exilee

    Punching bag

    pick one
  • ducklipsducklips Regular
    edited February 2011
    Can I get a discount since I gave you this brilliant business idea?

    Ill give you .025% of the profits
  • edited February 2011
    Fatty I really thought you would do better after 3 days off. You are failing hard son.

    School me in your ways of tuff talk, o master.
  • edited February 2011
    buddha wrote: »
    Exilee

    Punching bag

    pick one

    I'm just not tuff enuff to hang with BIG DOGS like TDR.
  • thewandererthewanderer Regular
    edited February 2011
    I would probably end up being a mercenary.
  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited February 2011
    I'm just not tuff enuff to hang with BIG DOGS like TDR.

    Apparently
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited February 2011
    ducklips wrote: »
    Ill give you .025% of the profits

    No discount on putang?! I guess I'll just use the profit percent for that.
  • ducklipsducklips Regular
    edited February 2011
    No discount on putang?! I guess I'll just use the profit percent for that.

    circle of life, its works somehow

    I can still be a seamstress

    gotta have some days off
  • edited February 2011
    buddha wrote: »
    Apparently

    TDR is so tuff the only time he spends not posting:
    • pathetic insults towards me
    • lies about military service
    • lies about having any real life experience
    • lies about being married
    • political opinions he only developed because his parents are upper middle class liberals and they "don't understand" him
    • other assorted tuff talk
    on here is spent watching MMA and eating meals in the dining room of his late 19th century Victorian house with his mother and father.

    This whole thread is stupid because if there was an apocalyptic event 99% of you would be dead.
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited February 2011
    Maybe so but it doesn't mean you should use it as your tromping ground to bitch about TDR. Its all hypothetical and fun silly fat fuck.
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited February 2011
    Bounty Hunter
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited February 2011
    I could be:

    Historian - Useful for documenting and rebuilding on the past, educating the youth as well as making judgements and having a say in how the future is planned out. A Governmental role, perhaps. Although I am a little to the Left on that one...
    Also useful for writing accounts of the times after the Apocalypse, to leave for future generations.

    Cook - I have worked in Kitchens for 6 years on and off.

    Trader - Useful knowledge of certain aspects of life, especially ones which use tech, and that can be traded/repaired.

    Farmer - I am very used to cultivating Hemp and Cannabis. Need I say more?

    Military training - I have also worked on Military Barracks and received Military training over the years.

    Counsellor - I have also been told I would make a great Counsellor as I have gone through so much fucked up stuff in my short 20 years on this Earth.
  • RolfRolf Regular
    edited February 2011
    Join the first militaristic organisation Rolf encounters, especially if said organisation has more ammunition than everyone else, states Rolf... even better if they have boats, adds Rolf.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited February 2011
    TDR is so tuff the only time he spends not posting:
    • pathetic insults towards me
    • lies about military service
    • lies about having any real life experience
    • lies about being married
    • political opinions he only developed because his parents are upper middle class liberals and they "don't understand" him
    • other assorted tuff talk
    on here is spent watching MMA and eating meals in the dining room of his late 19th century Victorian house with his mother and father.

    This whole thread is stupid because if there was an apocalyptic event 99% of you would be dead.


    Hi Fatty I'm glad you have me to keep you occupied. Just make sure you keep your eye on the ball son or it might smack you right in the chops.
  • edited February 2011
    Hi Fatty I'm glad you have me to keep you occupied. Just make sure you keep your eye on the ball son or it might smack you right in the chops.

    :fap:
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited February 2011
    :fap:

    Aww, how cute, he loves me so much he jacks off to my posts.
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited February 2011
    I would be a part time hunter and charcutier. I would also enter peoples dwellings at night and watch them sleep, and make that clicking sound the predator makes.

    I would then come up with a new way of looking at theology and this would be passed on with Bardic singing / chanting in such a way people would make me their king.
  • ducklipsducklips Regular
    edited February 2011
    dr rocker wrote: »
    I would also enter peoples dwellings at night and watch them sleep, and make that clicking sound the predator makes.

    haha, someone's got to be the weirdo
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited February 2011
    I would have an army of

    T1_Kyle_Reese_defends_Sarah.JPG

    Simo_hayha_honorary_rifle.png

    and

    fighting-jack-churchill.590x337.jpg

    I may even have some of this shit going on

    med-hvy-cav.jpg


    2latt14.png
  • PhilosoraptorPhilosoraptor Regular
    edited February 2011
    Distillery operator/owner of the first bar.
  • RolfRolf Regular
    edited February 2011
    RemadE wrote: »
    Counsellor - I have also been told I would make a great Counsellor as I have gone through so much fucked up stuff in my short 20 years on this Earth.

    You're hired! the Grand Ducal Army of Rolfheim needs Counsellors... there be too many crazy-axe-throwing-men in Rolfheim, thinks Rolf.
  • inappropriphiliacinappropriphiliac Semo-Regulars
    edited February 2011
    I'd proliferate hemp/mj on an island, start a bee farm and establish a small community. Ah yes, the simple life.
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited February 2011
    I will stay at home. I will grow melons. People fucking love melons. I heard somewhere that during WW2, people in the UK would pay the equivalent to £65 for a melon. I will make melon pits on a south facing slope and have them as underground trenches covered in glass. I would probably install a water boiler that ran on waste and scrap wood, paper – any old shit I could get my hands on – for spring time to help warm it a little, but it would be such a natural heat trap it would only be in late winter and early spring that it would need heating.

    I could grow a lot of melons – in times of big wars, we have petrol shortages and so more people would use horses for transport so I could fill my melon pits with grade a manure. This rotting alone would help to warm the melon trenches.

    I would grow my melons and they would be as good if not better than you get now in the shops and they would sell for top dollar, except I would want the money in pounds as I live in Britain. With all of my melon pounds I would soon become a wealthy man.

    The king of the melon farms would have nothing to fear for his melons would bring comfort, joy and a nice sweet fruit to enjoy. The king of the melons could sleep safe in his bed knowing there was a was on some where he was not while he was in bed (a very comfortable bed) that was paid for with riches derived from the main occupation of the melon king. FARMING FUCKING MELONS.

    I could take over neighbouring areas and introduce my ways of melon farming. I would let them operate as independent farms, however, I would tell them what to grow and how to grow it and who to sell it too and they would be rejoicing as such:

    “Melon King! Why did you not come to us sooner to show us the true way to produce and market melons. We did not think good of your ways you made us voluntarily try, until they made us melon millionaires.”

    And then, I would show my powers lie not just with melons, but in the science and electronics industry also. As South Korea would be a smoky hole in the ground, who would make cheap plasma screen TV's? I would devise new technologies that use thin slivers of melon to make different areas of colour on the TV screen. By applying different electrical currents to the melon slices, they would reflect different colours, a bit like an LCD TV.

    The slices of melon would be very thin and would have been preserved in melon liqueur so they lasted a while.

    I would branch out into high end lighting systems, next generation disk players and hydrogen cell technology. All the while remaining true to the melons. All of my interests would involve melons. I think once melon production volume had risen to a certain level, it would be economical to produce melon seed oil. This would be processed and sold for a number of applications from a food stuff, to fuel to a vaginal lubricant.

    My business enterprises would be large, and it was all based on the fact that I was the melon king.

    Some days I would become dejected and ask myself if it had all been a big waste, farming melons, you know, sometimes how you can get when melancholy can set in whilst you await challenges new. Those challenges come thick and fast when you are a melon farmer however, that being my primary occupation. Powdery milder, red spider mite, slugs, the list goes on when you are a melon farmer.

    When you are the melon king however, you have to show everyone the right ways to farm melons, with proper melon trench hygiene at all times. Do no bring in any old plants, anything you do bring in make sure it is slug and disease free. Keep the area clean and tidy and free from weeds and trash and keep things in proper repair. This will help with slugs and spider mites. I would go killing slugs in the dark too, when they come out with a pointy stick.

    I would leave these squewered slugs on the stick, only to find in the day light they were gone – some thing eating them in the night. Maybe birds very early in the morning, or hedgehogs – I know we also have a family of foxes living about 250 feet from the garden.

    The foxes and I have an understanding. They stay out of my way and stay away from the melons and in return I don't kill them. It is a pretty sweet deal for the foxes as if they behave they get to live and if a fox gets really sad about shit – like an emo fox, but really srs, they know they can walk by my melons and I will kill them. Its like a Veritas suicide park for foxes. With melons.

    Due to the fact that the foxes and I had an understanding and they suicided, even PETA would be cool with me making nice jackets out of the fox skins. Fuck, even naomi campbell could have one, but she can't as she is friends with charles taylor and robert mugabe.

    See, I bet uma therman is not friends with african tyrannical dictators. She could have a fox skin coat and a melon and she would walk the track herself to the place where I live taking in the peace and tranquillity of the melon pits and the birds chirping and foxes squealing while they died and she would fall in love with place and she would round the corner to the courtyard in front of my house where my expensive sports car I have bought from my melon empire is parked and she would see them.

    The melon men. Three bamboo canes each and a lot of melons, set out to look like a man made from melons. She would shit a brick. She would think it was something from that film that she was in that was called kill bill where she had a sword and she had to chop fuck out of lots of people and she would do a karate style sideways backwards flying jump thing and grab the brush I use to keep my courtyard swept and swing it around like a sword, taking apart melon men until she realised.

    She would realise it was all a joke. I was playing off the colour of her tracksuit she wore in that film with the vibrant skin of a yellow melon and how I was playing this off against a scene that she could link back to a movie she was in and she would turn and say to me “give me one of those coats” and then we would spend the afternoon blowing melons up.
  • ducklipsducklips Regular
    edited February 2011
    ^^^^
    lolwhat?

    i think you may have over thought that one
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited February 2011
    ducklips wrote: »
    ^^^^
    lolwhat?

    i think you may have over thought that one

    To much thought and planning? Do you not put a lot of thought and planning in?

    Good luck with the coming apocalypse and your half arsed plans.
  • ImmaChrgnMaLAZRImmaChrgnMaLAZR Regular
    edited February 2011
    @dr rocker


    After reading that, I'm feeling.....juicy. :fap:
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited February 2011
    I dont like melons...
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited February 2011
    Me neither, I like me about the size of grapefruits.
  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited February 2011
    dr rocker wrote: »
    To much thought and planning? Do you not put a lot of thought and planning in?

    Good luck with the coming apocalypse and your half arsed plans.

    She doesn't need to plan, that's my job.

    Also, you smoke way too much shit.
  • LethargicaLethargica Regular
    edited March 2011
    A business man, cater to the new trends, reep profits, and then build a nice, secluded society while everyone fights for scraps
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited March 2011
    buddha wrote: »

    Also, you smoke way too much shit.

    One could say the inverse of this is true.
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