Bipolar

RemadERemadE Global Moderator
edited April 2011 in Life
Any posters on here suffer from Bipolar disorder? I won't elaorate as I don't want to splurge my personal life online but it's always good to chat.
Also just a quick one - I find that when I am in a great mood (not ever good, it's up or down. Euphoria or hard-up depression) I cannot remember what I did in my other mood.

For example I am in a shit mood now. Drinking like a motherfucker which I know doesn't help - but all I can remember today is my lecture. Yesterday is a blur and I genuinely don't know what I did. The same can be said when I am in a euphoric mood - I have no recollection what I do when I am down. One night I was found sitting on the edge of a motorway bridge and with a black eye/split lip so I was told by my housemates and the person who found me. This bridge in question is a good 3 miles from my house, too. I don't recall it though, just sitting in my room with a coat, trousers, shirt and shoes on. Scares me at times. Anyone else get what I mean? If my mood shoots up tomorrow (seeing Family, so maybe) then I will read back this post and have no recollection of typing it. Honest to the imaginary man in the sky.
:sad:

Comments

  • PsychoDelicPsychoDelic Regular
    edited March 2011
    I have it, but CAMHS refuses to officially diagnose me, for the moment, due to current drug use and other mental complications.
    I wouldn't recommend talking to a professional as this on your record can be problematic, but that's up to how severely it effects your life.
    I can relate to what you're saying, do you find it to be very rapid cycling (More likely to be BPD) I have several months of majority depressive episodes or majority manic episodes, but within these months I have part of days to weeks of extremes of either, also I have alot of mixed affective moments.

    This is a bit confusing, sorry.

    These are the sub types, from wiki-
    Wikipedia wrote:
    Bipolar I disorder
    One or more manic episodes. Subcategories specify whether there has been more than one episode, and the type of the most recent episode. A depressive or hypomanic episode is not required for diagnosis, but it frequently occurs.

    Bipolar II disorder
    No manic episodes, but one or more hypomanic episodes and one or more major depressive episode. However, a bipolar II diagnosis is not a guarantee that they will not eventually suffer from such an episode in the future.
    Hypomanic episodes do not go to the full extremes of mania (i.e., do not usually cause severe social or occupational impairment, and are without psychosis), and this can make bipolar II more difficult to diagnose, since the hypomanic episodes may simply appear as a period of successful high productivity and is reported less frequently than a distressing, crippling depression.

    Cyclothymia
    A history of hypomanic episodes with periods of depression that do not meet criteria for major depressive episodes. There is a low-grade cycling of mood which appears to the observer as a personality trait, and interferes with functioning.

    Bipolar Disorder NOS (Not Otherwise Specified)
    This is a catchall category, diagnosed when the disorder does not fall within a specific subtype. Bipolar NOS can still significantly impair and adversely affect the quality of life of the patient.


    Wiki used to have the DSM criteria, but it isn't there any more so here's the page link.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipolar_affective_disorder

    With extremely rapid cycling it is very difficult to be diagnosed.

    Remember your mind is a very powerful thing, positivity encourages stability (for me anyways)



    See if you can relate to this-
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited March 2011
    Cheers for that :) I'm not the self-diagnosing type as I have spoken to a professional (my doctor and many psychotherapists when I was in my teens) and they said it was most certainly Bipolar as the traits were there and my Mother also has it, and is very bad at times.
    When looking at that graph I have to say I seem to fit into the Cyclothymia subsection. As I said I hate to be a whiney self-diagnosed bitch, but it seems the most accurate. For up to a week I won't leave my room (it's not been that bad lately) as I am so down. When the manic highs hit, I go out, blow money, run myself down and am on top of the world. It literally feels like anything gives me an orgasm as I just find everything so fascinating and engaging...which is very odd when contrasted with the lows. My mates realise I can be unpredictable, too, but are great support. The worst thing I get is sympathy. I'd rather someone tell me like it is and that the lows are not forever. Most people don't want to though, as they fear it will make it worse.

    Cheers for the input :) Nice to know I'm not alone.
  • PsychoDelicPsychoDelic Regular
    edited March 2011
    Yeh, I'm not that type of self diagnosed faggit, I just have a big interest in mental disorders. In fact when some symptoms happen, I 'enjoy' it. Strange, but I'm just intrigued about sinking into the abyss, I perceive it as a new, interesting experienced.
    Although it gets to a point where it starts effect me seriously and I don't like this, especially if it's symptoms I've already experienced.
    I'm pretty different lol.
    I've gone through the psychotherapy, and never found it overly helpful.
    My Dad's been schizophrenic and bi-polar, I think my Mum's schizotypal.

    I can relate to all that you said, and I prefer to be told straight than people pussy footing around.


    It's cool :)
  • edited March 2011
    I hate being Bipolar It's fucking Awesome
  • AverageAverage Regular
    edited March 2011
    Ive always noticed that bipolar people are either really fucked up or pretty successful. I'd go for the latter. I was diagnosed bipolar but I think I was misdiagnosed, I pretty much down all the time unless I'm high on something, than I think I'm the shit. Idk probably just the drugs.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited March 2011
    Been stuck in a shit, shit mood since about 22:00 last night and am off to hospital tonight/tomorrow. Playing with machetes in this mood is not advised.
  • PsychoDelicPsychoDelic Regular
    edited March 2011
    RemadE wrote: »
    Been stuck in a shit, shit mood since about 22:00 last night and am off to hospital tonight/tomorrow. Playing with machetes in this mood is not advised.

    Want a machete fight?
    I've been on Ritalin all day, so I'm on a FUCKING good mood dude. Not in, on.
    I had a sociology exam and wrote 3 pages in 40 mins, compared to my normal half page. I also just started and finished my whole PE pep in, like an hour, When I've had 3 months to do it.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited March 2011
    I wish I had that determination. I did. For the past4 days I've felt as though the answer to life comes in either the form of pills or at the bottom of a long fall...and the worst thing is I can't even remember a good time to cheer me up. I know they're there, but I can't begin to even picture any.

    And yeah, machete fight might snap me out of it.
  • skunkskunk Regular
    edited March 2011
    Remade have you tried physical labor to help boost your endorphins? I find after a hard days work I feel tired, but refreshed. If you're interested, ask your neighbors if they need help around their yard or something like that (or get a landscaping job).

    Lifting weights a few times a week for an hour may do the same for you though.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited March 2011
    Remade have you tried physical labor to help boost your endorphins? I find after a hard days work I feel tired, but refreshed. If you're interested, ask your neighbors if they need help around their yard or something like that (or get a landscaping job).

    Lifting weights a few times a week for an hour may do the same for you though.

    Working out does help immensely I've found. Unfortunately I have a Medical condition which means I'm in crippling pain for 5 out of 7 days a week or so. It's pretty shit so any kind of labour or physical working-out-ness makes it worse. Just makes me feel worthless as fuck sometimes.
  • PsychoDelicPsychoDelic Regular
    edited March 2011
    RemadE wrote: »
    I wish I had that determination. I did. For the past4 days I've felt as though the answer to life comes in either the form of pills or at the bottom of a long fall...and the worst thing is I can't even remember a good time to cheer me up. I know they're there, but I can't begin to even picture any.

    And yeah, machete fight might snap me out of it.

    Yo, I feel you. no homo. The good memories seem so... pretend, sometimes just not their. I get so apathetic that I don't care about the good memories and dissolve into a state that isn't self pity. It's beyond self loathing, it's complete non-caring for myself, others and whatever other shit exists. Maybe it could be described as internal dissociation. I can't muster more than a fleeting moment of happiness. I don't feel particularly sad or depressed, just like worthless nothingness.

    Fuck that shit. Grab a nail file and break out of your mental prison bro.
  • IndulgenceIndulgence Regular
    edited March 2011
    I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder ~4 years ago. Man I was fucked before I found my current psychiatrist and went on the proper medication. I was misdiagnosed and put on SSRIs for years, which coincidentally make bipolar people worse.

    I've been through some rough shit but I'm pretty stable and reasonably happy now. Every once in a while though I'll go through a bad depressive or manic episode. I like to think of it as the disorder saying "sup bitch, didn't forget about me did you :D?"

    I guess it's weird to personify a psychological disorder like that, but after living with it for so long, it's kind of hard not to.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited March 2011
    Indulgence wrote: »
    I like to think of it as the disorder saying "sup bitch, didn't forget about me did you :D?"

    That's a pretty good way of seeing it, actually. I am on Tramadol for my other medical condition and it plays havoc with my mood. One minute I'm having a full-blown mind orgasm and the next it feels as though the floor, and my mood have dropped through the planet.

    Just had a phonecall with my gal. All is restored now. It's been too long.

    /soppy twat
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited April 2011
    Been a while now and for the most part been all good. Just watching this documentary with Stephen Fry about Bipolar/Manic depression. Great viewing for those with and without manic/depressed episode.

    Is a bit freaky as I've never seen it before and a few hallmarks of my depressed episodes are the same as his. One day I laid out everything in my room and cleared up without leaving any kind of trace of where I had gone. Headed down to the train station, got a train to a port and was on the verge of getting a Ferry to mainland Europe.
    Seriously. If it weren't for someone talking to me and bursting into tears at the entrance of the Port, I'd have done it and fuck knows where I'd be now.
    Link to full torrent. HIGHLY reccommended. Pretty funny in parts as you never see this side of Mr Fry.
    fry.jpg
Sign In or Register to comment.