Sexual Injuries

StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
edited April 2011 in Life
Now I'm not talking about those normal ones such as scratches and bites and when your dick slips out and you accidently stab/get stabbed by her/him with it. I mean straight up injuries. Lets hear about them.

Early in my sexlife this one girl I was fucking for a while wanted me to stick my finger in her bootyhole. This was a first for me so I didn't think to lube it with anything before jamming it in there. She screamed and I freaked out and jerked my finger back out maybe a bit to quickly. She called me the next day and said she was at the doctor's because I gave her a hernia. I still call bullshit on that. I also still don't like anything to do with anal.

Comments

  • SpeedbagsSpeedbags Regular
    edited March 2011
    I worked with a guy who was an EMT, one night he told me about a patient he had to help. Apparently the guy and his wife were having some rough sex and he slipped out and he went to shove it back in so hard that he missed and hit her, no injury to her but he hit so hard that he snapped his dick in the middle, causing the veins to burst and his dick to have a grapefruit size ball in the middle of his dick that was filled with blood. I still grimace at the thought of it.
  • duuudeduuude Regular
    edited March 2011
    Speedbags wrote: »
    I worked with a guy who was an EMT, one night he told me about a patient he had to help. Apparently the guy and his wife were having some rough sex and he slipped out and he went to shove it back in so hard that he missed and hit her, no injury to her but he hit so hard that he snapped his dick in the middle, causing the veins to burst and his dick to have a grapefruit size ball in the middle of his dick that was filled with blood. I still grimace at the thought of it.

    I don't have any stories to add myself, but I wanted to note that this one gave me chills. I'm thankful I've never had to experience any kind of extreme pain in my dick or balls.
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited March 2011
    Oh shit, I do that often during sex. I've had to take short breaks because of it but never have been injured that seriously. Now I'm going to be paranoid about it.
  • SpeedbagsSpeedbags Regular
    edited March 2011
    Yeah I've been paranoid about it ever since. Hence always easy in, easy out.
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited March 2011
    That's not always easy to do when you get to the serious flesh slapping ass pounding hard fucking. Sometimes you just slip.
  • cqqqqcqqqq Semo-Regulars
    edited March 2011
    Speedbags wrote: »
    I worked with a guy who was an EMT, one night he told me about a patient he had to help. Apparently the guy and his wife were having some rough sex and he slipped out and he went to shove it back in so hard that he missed and hit her, no injury to her but he hit so hard that he snapped his dick in the middle, causing the veins to burst and his dick to have a grapefruit size ball in the middle of his dick that was filled with blood. I still grimace at the thought of it.

    don't know from personal experience (thank fuck) but if u fuck up and do something like this, doesnt it lead to having a dick that is 'bent', know what i mean?
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited March 2011
    Good to know. If you break your penis, go to the doctor.
  • (nameless one)(nameless one) Regular
    edited March 2011
    My dad used to work at the emergency ward of a hospital. One day, they had a patient with an almost severed penis. Apparently his girlfriend was giving him a blowjob and I guess she got overexcited because she started having seizure attacks.

    Also MM, you gave Username hernia? That's terrible.
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited March 2011
    Not Usernme, this was a different girl. Username isn't a whiney little bitch and is smart enough to know that it would have been nearly impossible to get a hernia that way. Also we don't do assplay.
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited March 2011
    I have snapped my banjo twice. It bled like fuck and took weeks to heal.

    Not sexual, but involving balls, a couple of guys from my town were on holiday in spain. On getting to the hotel, they saw it had a sauna and they decided to have a sauna before doing anything else.

    Now, when you have a sauna, their is a reason you sit on your towel. One of the guys did not. One of his testicals decended sideways through the slatted wooden bench, then twisted itself the other way.

    They guy did not realise - he stood up to get out of the sauna and ripped one of his back wheels off.

    It was pretty fucked and could not be re-attached - now he is like hitler.
  • CASPERCASPER Acolyte
    edited April 2011
    When I was doing a lot of heroin, one night my chick and I decided to fuck. She was like 5'2 and Im 6' 7", so sometimes, depending on position, it takes a bit of logistical work. She really wanted to do it standing up in front of the mirror, so I propped her up against this freestanding closet. The thing about that was that since im so tall and have such long legs, her ass was like 9 inches below where my cock is. So, I ended up having to grab her by the hips and lift her to fuck her.

    It worked out pretty well-apparently that position hit her really deep, and she was moaning like crazy. However, being on dope, busting a nut was pretty much impossible. An hour passed. Two hours passed. On multiple occasions I tried to slow down or suggest we go to the bed, but she dug her nails into my back and told me not to stop. So I kept at it. Around hour three, I could feel a slight hint of orgasm, but not much. My hamstrings and calves felt ready to burst- -like I had just run an Iron Man marathon. I decided that my only chance to make this work was to give it every last bit of energy I had- as hard and fast as I could. So with my arms now completely around her in a bar hug, I got at dat azz like a jackhammer. Beads of sweat stung my eyes and my legs trembled and wobbled with each hump. After about ten minutes, with a mighty roar, i finally came with the force of the Japanese tsunami. As soon as I did though, all my muscles completely gave out. I tried to grab onto the closet door, but i stumbled and fell over into the entertainment center. I fell onto a beer mug with my back and got bruised/ cut up. The bigass CRT television fell out onto my stomach and i snapped the door off the cabinet. Was bloodied up a bit and bruised, but mostly just couldnt walk without a limp for like 3 or 4 days.
  • MrBennMrBenn Regular
    edited April 2011
    A friend of mine used to work as a radiologist at the local hospital. He saw MANY different things stuck up peoples assess that they'd put there while having sex. The biggest was a BIG can of aerosol!

    Why the fuck don't these people just buy an ass dildo!?
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited April 2011
    I got a text this morning from a guy who does not bullshit:

    'Pal of mine was fitting a carpet this moring, kneeling on the floor cutting with a stanley knife. He was cutting towards himself and slipped and sliced his own bellend off! Jesus :( '

    I called bullshit and spoke ot a few other people. Apparently, the guy was cutting a carpet tile, the tile bent in a funny way as he was cutting and he slipped, Opened his thigh enough to be worrying, chooped his bellend off.

    Dont know if they have managed to sew it back on, jut know he has not bled to death.

    Srs shit.
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited April 2011
    Jesus fucking Mohammed that's some serious shit. Bad luck on your friends part. Hope it doesn't fuck up his future relations.
  • MooseKnuckleMooseKnuckle Regular
    edited April 2011
    fucking ouch, rocker. thankfully no sexual injuries for me.
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited April 2011
    In the terms of the humour of the area in which my friend and I live : The barrel of the rifle is intact but the cocking mechanism is fucked .
  • edited April 2011
    I knew a dude who fucked drunk once and broke his pecker.

    If you bend it sharply enough and with enough force (A strong but poorly-aimed thrust), the blood-engorged tissues can rupture, and you'll need medical attention.
  • edited April 2011
    Speedbags wrote: »
    I worked with a guy who was an EMT, one night he told me about a patient he had to help. Apparently the guy and his wife were having some rough sex and he slipped out and he went to shove it back in so hard that he missed and hit her, no injury to her but he hit so hard that he snapped his dick in the middle, causing the veins to burst and his dick to have a grapefruit size ball in the middle of his dick that was filled with blood. I still grimace at the thought of it.

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    Now I have to live my life in fear > : /

    The closest thing to a sexual injury I've had (other than the already disqualified teeth-ing), which is definitely not an injury, except maybe for psychologically, is that one time I fingered a girl and when I pulled my hand out it was COVERED in cheese... It was disgusting, and even the word cheese makes me feel slightly nauseous since then.
  • UsernameUsername Acolyte
    edited April 2011
    MM almost broke his dick last night in some "rough/fun" sex. But he's okay. :) LOL
  • MartialshotMartialshot Acolyte
    edited April 2011
    My buddy knew this guy who got a highlighter stuck in his ass
  • DaktologistDaktologist Global Moderator
    edited April 2011
    My buddy knew this guy who got a highlighter stuck in his ass

    LOL @ HTS and the hi liter anal insertion
  • BigHarryDickBigHarryDick Cock Bite
    edited April 2011
    Heres what a penile fracture looks like.

    in case you were wondering.

    Fracture_Penis_mbah_dukun_bagong.jpg
  • RogueEagle91RogueEagle91 Regular
    edited April 2011
    Think my worst personal experience came one night about a year ago. Was fucking the gal I was with at the time on a picnic table in the middle of the night. It was in a well populated neighborhood, so she decided I could fuck her up the leg of her short shorts. This worked well for a while. The longer it went, the less vag lube was there. The friction started eating the side of my dick.

    I let it go for a while, but eventually it just hurt too damn much. So, being the horny genius that I am, I just switched sides and kept going. Ultimately, I went until I started getting pain on the other side of my dick. It was so uncomfortable that when she decided to give me a pity bj for my injuries, I had to have her stop.

    It was dark, so I didn't know until I got home that I had two nearly dime sized blood blisters on my dick that had popped at some point.

    I was walking wide-legged for the next few days. Winced any time my dick hit my leg/pants/etc.
  • AverageAverage Regular
    edited April 2011
    1 time I beat off like 8 times in a day, my dick was raw and bleeding. Around the 6th time I was just shooting blanks.
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