Fucking wasps!!!

PhilosoraptorPhilosoraptor Regular
edited April 2011 in Spurious Generalities
Ever since I was born I have had an intense phobia of wasps, and during the spring/summer months I pretty much never leave my house til it gets dark outside, I have to go to work, or I'm out of booze. I can't even go out to smoke a cigarette(thank god for my electric cigarette) during the day because no matter how many people I'm with, the fucking wasps/yellow jackets or whatever gravitate towards me and fuck with me. Now I have 2 nests being built in my backyard. :angry:

I'm not freaked out by anything else, but its just something about those wasp motherfuckers that fucks with my head. Anyone else have/used to have a phobia of wasps(Spheksophobia)? If you overcame it what did you do?

Can't wait for the sun to go down so I can make those fuckers huff raid!!!!

Comments

  • BigHarryDickBigHarryDick Cock Bite
    edited April 2011
    no i'm not a pussy.
  • PhilosoraptorPhilosoraptor Regular
    edited April 2011
    ^Totally saw that coming. Its a total pussy phobia I know, but at least its my only phobia. Its better than being afraid of public speaking/performing, talking to women, etc...
  • Native ReserveNative Reserve Regular
    edited April 2011
    Dude you might be allergic.
  • BigHarryDickBigHarryDick Cock Bite
    edited April 2011
    true that.

    I'll play your game. I hate spiders, like Im not bitch around them

    but i fucking hate them. I want to kill em all. Its not hardcore phobia
  • jamie madroxjamie madrox Sith Lord
    edited April 2011
    I opened a cabinet to get a glass once, one of those fuckers flew out and stung me in the chin. Still though, I'm not scared of them. I just don't like them.
  • PhilosoraptorPhilosoraptor Regular
    edited April 2011
    How the fuck did it get in your cabinet, like did a few wasps chew through the wall or something?

    Most spiders don't bother me at all, you can kill them easily, plus they can't fly after you, plus one time I saw a spider totally rape a wasp after it got caught in its web. Black Widows and Brown Recluses are bastards though.
  • Native ReserveNative Reserve Regular
    edited April 2011
    I'm afraid of centipedes, one morning I woke up in a daze and I swear I say hundreds of them running all across my floors, So I ran to the the living room and sat on the couch afraid to step on the floor because those fuckers would bite me. So I sat on the couch all night and waited till they left.
  • jamie madroxjamie madrox Sith Lord
    edited April 2011
    I have no clue how it got in there, aside from dumb luck because the kitchen door was open.
  • PhilosoraptorPhilosoraptor Regular
    edited April 2011
    I'm afraid of centipedes, one morning I woke up in a daze and I swear I say hundreds of them running all across my floors, So I ran to the the living room and sat on the couch afraid to step on the floor because those fuckers would bite me. So I sat on the couch all night and waited till they left.

    Last time you did DXM right?
  • Native ReserveNative Reserve Regular
    edited April 2011
    Last time you did DXM right?

    No, was the last time I did benadryl.
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited April 2011
    Just set fire to the nests if it is safe to do so. They are made from chewed up bits of wood the wasps spit out like paper. They go up like a light, even better if you have put some petrol on them. Wait until its late and the wasps are sleeping or whatever it is the fuck they do, throw a pint of petrol on then set fire to it - set fire to it from around 5-8 foot away, the petrol can fireball.

    Fuck off wasps.
  • PhilosoraptorPhilosoraptor Regular
    edited April 2011
    As FUCKING AWESOME as Dr. Rockers idea is, their nests are being built on my porch rafters which are made out of wood. Trust me, I would love nothing better than to see those fuckers die a painful death in a fire.
  • ducklipsducklips Regular
    edited April 2011
    A yellow jacket flew into my house once and landed on my nose. At that point I'd never been stung before. I froze, I held my breathe closed my eyes waiting for the inevitable. I could feel it's legs moving around and feeling my nose. Then . . . it just flew away . That was the longest 20 seconds of my life. I got stung a couple weeks later on my finger. It happened at my new job and i was trying to seem tough and not cry but i really wanted to. My finger was like three times bigger than normal. They are everywhere around here same thing with grass hoppers.

    makes me feel like the end of times...Thats how many there are. lol i just hate it when they land on me.
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited April 2011
    As FUCKING AWESOME as Dr. Rockers idea is, their nests are being built on my porch rafters which are made out of wood. Trust me, I would love nothing better than to see those fuckers die a painful death in a fire.

    I have a solution as I had a similar situation once where the surrounding area was too flamable.

    Couple of cans of

    4107164818_72cb3e8060.jpg

    and one of these with a few bolts.

    crossbow.jpg

    Works quite well if you get the cans of wasp killer in the right place. I fucked up a big underground nest once with that. With underground nests, it pays to put a bit of petrol in, then a little more and let the fumes get around the nest.

    Then light it. It fucks it up like an earthquake, shocking everything to death in the nest.

    With yours, maybe tell some kids it is a pinata?

    Pinata.jpg
    ducklips wrote: »
    At that point I'd never been stung before. I froze, I held my breathe closed my eyes waiting for the inevitable. I could feel it's legs moving around and feeling my nose. Then . . . it just flew away . That was the longest 20 seconds of my life.

    As poetic as that is, if that was the longest 20 seconds of your life, you have a lot to learn. Go to the hospital and find someone in their last hours of life and hold their hand.
  • ducklipsducklips Regular
    edited April 2011
    been there and it was just a figure of speech
  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited April 2011
    dr rocker wrote: »
    . Go to the hospital and find someone in their last hours of life and hold their hand.

    HAHA WTF that was the gayest shit I've ever heard.


    I can see the reply now
    dr rocker wrote: »
    if that's the gayest...go to palm springs...lube...I like cocks
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited April 2011
    buddha wrote: »
    HAHA WTF that was the gayest shit I've ever heard.


    I can see the reply now


    The reply is; you should get over the things that do not have an impact, learn about those that do and learn how to overcome the ones you think you cannot overcome.

    If you think I am going to write you some gay pornography just because I am a male, you are sadly mistaken.

    How come you are a demi mod? What the fuck do you actually know?
  • MrBennMrBenn Regular
    edited April 2011
    Had a wasps nest in the garden last summer...those fuckers were evil and we had to get someone in to remove it. Hoping they don't come back for revenge this summer.
  • MooseKnuckleMooseKnuckle Regular
    edited April 2011
    i remember the first time i got stung by a wasp, my grandpa poured gasoline on it. not scared anymore, just swat at the one bastard trying to ruin my day. raid bro, they have longshots where u don't have to get close, or a good 'ol boot will do the trick.
  • Native ReserveNative Reserve Regular
    edited April 2011
    I hate the falling feeling when the benadryl starts to kick in, then I started to see a kid in my televisions reflection in a white dress doing a dougie dance.
  • IndulgenceIndulgence Regular
    edited April 2011
    i remember the first time i got stung by a wasp, my grandpa poured gasoline on it. not scared anymore, just swat at the one bastard trying to ruin my day. raid bro, they have longshots where u don't have to get close, or a good 'ol boot will do the trick.

    Your grandpa is a boss.
  • MooseKnuckleMooseKnuckle Regular
    edited April 2011
    Indulgence wrote: »
    Your grandpa is a boss.

    he was a g. :thumbsup:
  • SliceSlice Regular
    edited April 2011
    Raid.gif

    this time it's not for huffing :o:o
  • duuudeduuude Regular
    edited April 2011
    dr rocker wrote: »
    Just set fire to the nests if it is safe to do so. They are made from chewed up bits of wood the wasps spit out like paper. They go up like a light, even better if you have put some petrol on them. Wait until its late and the wasps are sleeping or whatever it is the fuck they do, throw a pint of petrol on then set fire to it - set fire to it from around 5-8 foot away, the petrol can fireball.

    Fuck off wasps.

    I've done that with a few yellow jacket nests like this:

    yellowjacket_nest_in_ground.jpg

    Works everytime, and it's badass to watch because some of them will fly out of the nest trying to escape while they are still on fire, getting burnt to crisp. It's pretty kew.

    Off topic: Those two that are peeping out look like they are ready to fuck someone up. Watch out, Philosoraptor.
  • OnesanOnesan Acolyte
    edited April 2011
    Why no suggestions of a bug zapper, modded with a internal bait like coke or something suitably sweet, sure torching the bastards is pretty satisfying but when its not a option , why not seek a "bzz...fzz..BANG fried wasp spattered everywhere" resolution instead?

    just make sure to buy a zapper with a high voltage ac transformer inside rather than a dc cap setup, vastly more powerful effective and impressive looking.
  • duuudeduuude Regular
    edited April 2011
    ^Def another solution that would work. Those things start smelling horrible once they start zapping shit though.
  • edited April 2011
    Can't wait for the sun to go down so I can make those fuckers huff raid!!!!

    Raid is bad for you bro; use a flamethrower... Fighting those black n yellow bastards is one of the legit reasons why they're legal in the US...


    And ftr, I hate White Anglo-Saxon Protestants too ;)
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