Breaking the "stranger" barrier

LethargicaLethargica Regular
edited May 2011 in Life
So we go to the mall..and you see thousands of people..but some people may think:
"there is no one to talk to..."

while others may think: "Where should i start talking"



From experience, maintaining a conversation is easy(as long as the person is open for conversation), and getting a "strangers" # is easy as well, but the hardest part is the initiation, or starting, of a conversation. The initiation of a conversation is extremely important because it gives first impressions.

So I ask totse, what are your creative "tactics" to initiating a conversation with a stranger? The reason I am asking Totse is because I have a long history of being anti-social, and I want to start doing the uncomfortable...to be comfortable talking with others =].

A method that I use, for example, I feel like I have to give them a reason to talk to someone, for example..

"hey that looks really good! what is it called? where did you get it?" and then i start.

I am sure there are other ways though, if anyone can provide some input :o

Comments

  • SlartibartfastSlartibartfast Global Moderator -__-
    edited April 2011
    When i read "The Game" (Neil Strauss' PUA book) he had an interesting tactic.

    Ultimately, people want you to go away when your first approach them. They're comfortable with their crowd and don't want to adjust to another person.

    Before he started his routine, he would say, "I'm waiting for my friends, they'll be here in a minute but..." or "Hey a quick question,.." He would walk past them and then return as if it was an afterthought, not important and not pre-meditated.

    He would also stand in a way that gave the impression he wanted to walk away.
  • LethargicaLethargica Regular
    edited April 2011
    lol I'm actually trying to act this out but, this method.. is it supposed to give a sense of urgency? And that's why people are "ok" with having a conversation through strauss method? That's really interesting..
  • SlartibartfastSlartibartfast Global Moderator -__-
    edited April 2011
    eh. I'd assume It's because they think you're going to go away soon. Your job is to make them want you stay.
  • AnarchyMasterAnarchyMaster Regular
    edited April 2011
    Be genuine and go with modest and amicable intentions. Be humble and do not fear being rejected. Women can tell when you're just thinking about sex. Treat her as a normal human and approach her thinking as though she were just a man you were trying to befriend. This will alleviate your anxiety and foster more appreciation in the girl.
  • AnarchyMasterAnarchyMaster Regular
    edited April 2011
    To understand more, think about befriending a man. If the man rejected your friendship or you recognized that you would not be compatible with him, you would dismiss it and never think about it again. So why stress yourself over doing the same with a woman? If you honestly try to befriend a woman and establish a natural relationship with her, you will be much more rewarded than "hitting" on her. It will also be 10 times easier to have sex with her once you build a mutually beneficial relation with her(forget all that "friends zone" crap written by modern degenerates). You might even find a girl who will make advances on you herself, or with time find the right woman whom you can share a mutual love with.

    Today's society is vain and over-sexualized. It's no wonder that we've fallen from our true natural human relations, so I'm not surprised why so many people suffer from anxiety and loneliness these days.
  • blindbatblindbat Regular
    edited April 2011
    got that , but what do we say ? what Q's do we asks or what are good conversation topics?
  • LordWormLordWorm Regular
    edited April 2011
    Meh, just walk into the mall and Molotov Everything.
  • IndulgenceIndulgence Regular
    edited April 2011
    To understand more, think about befriending a man. If the man rejected your friendship or you recognized that you would not be compatible with him, you would dismiss it and never think about it again. So why stress yourself over doing the same with a woman? If you honestly try to befriend a woman and establish a natural relationship with her, you will be much more rewarded than "hitting" on her. It will also be 10 times easier to have sex with her once you build a mutually beneficial relation with her(forget all that "friends zone" crap written by modern degenerates). You might even find a girl who will make advances on you herself, or with time find the right woman whom you can share a mutual love with.

    Today's society is vain and over-sexualized. It's no wonder that we've fallen from our true natural human relations, so I'm not surprised why so many people suffer from anxiety and loneliness these days.

    This, wtf. How hard is it to talk to a member of the opposite sex like they're a human being instead of sticking them up on a pedestal.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited April 2011
    I love chatting to "strangers", especially on the Underground in London. I used to live near the Heathrow end of the Picadilly Line and so would get loads of travellers and tourists, so most of them were pretty lost and clueless. I'd sit there on the train and overhear their conversation and if they seemed unsure, I'd break the ice and help them out.
    How do I know this works? Well, there was a girl (you know where this is going) on the train who was staying at a Hotel in Central London, and after talking about tourism etc, I chatted about how her perfume reminds me of a better time and she asked if I could show her how to get to her Hotel...and damn, did I do that! :D

    That book "The Game" seems to be way too over-analytical. I knew a guy who'd use it to cover for his major social insecurities. The best advice I ever got was from an Amsterdam cafe that said "there are no strangers here, only friends you've yet to meet".
  • jewnosejewnose Regular
    edited April 2011
    Standing with your weight shifted back to your heels makes you seem more passive. Shift your weight forward slightly to seem more aggressive.

    Make a comment about anything around you. You'd be surprised at some of the stupid shit subjects people respond favorably to. Lately I've been finding reasons to joke with strangers about how much our local power bills have gone up. Little shit like that, things you know people will agree with you on.

    People are easy to handle as long as you don't let yourself get all worked up and stupid about it. I used to get real nervous and anxious with strangers too until I realized one day that they all have to drop their pants sometimes and take a dump, just like me.
  • BoxBox Regular
    edited April 2011
    There are methods to this? :facepalm:

    When did approaching someone and saying "hey" become a science?

    Just approach the gal and a "hey, what's up!" should do. If she becomes uninterested or attempts to avoid you, fuck it. Go to another one.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited April 2011
    Box wrote: »
    There are methods to this? :facepalm:

    When did approaching someone and saying "hey" become a science?

    Just approach the gal and a "hey, what's up!" should do. If she becomes uninterested or attempts to avoid you, fuck it. Go to another one.

    This. The worst they can do is say "No"....or call you a paedophile, depending on the age of said girl. Bear in mind, make-up is deceptive!
  • BigHarryDickBigHarryDick Cock Bite
    edited April 2011
    ^^^ Great fucking song.


    I don't know Girls always approach me

    for Conversation.
  • Agent 008Agent 008 Regular
    edited April 2011
    ^^^ Great fucking song.


    I don't know Girls always approach me

    for Conversation.

    Glad you like it, they were a great band.

  • BoxBox Regular
    edited April 2011
    Can we THEN conclude Lethargica is a virgin that spends 90% of his time on IGN.com checking out the 'hottest' games?
  • LethargicaLethargica Regular
    edited April 2011
    Box wrote: »
    Can we THEN conclude Lethargica is a virgin that spends 90% of his time on IGN.com checking out the 'hottest' games?

    Lol I think box is describing his own lifestyle. :p

    If you all didn't notice, I never said I had problems talking with girls. If anything, I said, I have no problem talking to complete strangers, but some people, don't liked to be confronted. I just wanted to know some tactics to start a conversation with a random stranger so they are not close minded in talking.
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited April 2011
    Weather: it's the one thing everybody has in common.
  • BoxBox Regular
    edited April 2011
    Lethargica wrote: »
    Lol I think box is describing his own lifestyle. :p

    If you all didn't notice, I never said I had problems talking with girls. If anything, I said, I have no problem talking to complete strangers, but some people, don't liked to be confronted. I just wanted to know some tactics to start a conversation with a random stranger so they are not close minded in talking.

    You don't have any problem talking to COMPLETE strangers, but you're asking for help on how to stir up a conversation with a RANDOM stranger? lolwut kid?

    OP:
    I have a long history of being anti-social, and I want to start doing the uncomfortable...to be comfortable talking with others
  • Gary OakGary Oak Regular
    edited April 2011
    I know what your saying OP. I have a ton of friends, but it can be uncomfortable to just strike up a conversation with just anybody.
  • WANWAN Regular
    edited May 2011
    Personally I think it's incredibly difficult to start a conversation with a random stranger. I normally only have conversations with people I already kind of semi-know, like my coworkers.

    Guys who approach girls just like that have my admiration
Sign In or Register to comment.