Conversation

PsychoDelicPsychoDelic Regular
edited May 2011 in Life
In conversation I'm never lively, I can't think of smart or interesting replies or conversation starters. I used to be really good with people, I'm not really sure what happened.
After a conversation I will think of great replies, especially in arguments, but never at the time. I'm not shy, I do whatever I want, around whoever I want. I just can't think of anything to say sometimes. I'm introverted, but this shouldn't make it this difficult to carry a conversation. I could've just numbed my brain from years of abuse. Even though internally I feel smarter, more aware, than I have ever been. In the exterior world I'm slow and disconnected.

EDIT: Maybe this thread would be more suitable in N&N?

Comments

  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited May 2011
    Practise in front of a mirror.
  • edited May 2011
    I'm pretty bad at conversations sometimes. I dunno what it is, but I sometimes feel weird about talking to people, even my own friends. I guess it takes some practice, to some extent.
  • NegrophobeNegrophobe Regular
    edited May 2011
    Alcohol.

    I really wouldn't be bothered about being too loud and "extroverted" either. People who are "outgoing," "talkative," "sociable,"and friendly; psychometrically speaking, score high on the Extraversion personality dimension, they are also much lower in the Neuroticism dimension. A combination of high Extraversion and low Neuroticism results in a socially dominant personality. Traits like Extraversion and Neuroticism are substantially heritable.

    Introverts look upon themselves as the norm and don't tend to speak up if they don’t know the answer to a question in the classroom or any other setting. They also don't like intruding on the privacy of others. Basically they're less rude and arrogant. It's an erroneous assumption that, because extroverts are talkative, they must know what they are talking about. Quite the contrary, it seems more likely to be a mask to cover up for low ability to reason abstractly. This is why niggers appear to be more extroverted. Really, all you need to attract a female is be a good bullshitter (believe your own bullshit) or be very rich and/or violent.

    As for friendship, just find those who are similar to you. I've learnt that with any kind of relationship, be it sexual or just a friendship; you're most likely to form them when you're not going out looking for it. Kin-selection/genetic similarity theory explains this well.
    Social-assortment studies

    Of all the decisions people make that affect their environment, choosing friends and spouses are among the most important. Genetic Similarity Theory was first applied to assortative mating, which kin-selection theory sensu stricto does not readily explain since individuals seldom mate with ‘kin’. Yet, the evidence for assortative mating is pervasive in other animals as well as in humans. For humans, both spouses and best friends are most similar on socio-demographic variables such as age, ethnicity and educational level (r=0.60), next most on opinions and attitudes (r=.50), then on cognitive ability (r=0.40), and least, but still significantly, on personality (r=0.20) and physical traits (r=0.20).

    Even marrying across ethnic lines ‘proves the rule’. In Hawaii, men and women who married cross-ethnically were more similar in personality than those marrying within their group, suggesting that couples ‘make up’ for ethnic dissimilarity by choosing spouses more similar to themselves in other respects (Ahern et al. 1981).

    [...]

    In a study of best friends, Rushton (1989b) found that across a wide range of anthropometric and social attitude measures, such as agreement with ‘military drill’ (forty per cent heritable) and with ‘church authority’ (twentyfive per cent heritable) the similarity of the friends was more pronounced on the more heritable measures. These results were extended to liking in acquaintances by Tesser (1993) who manipulated people’s beliefs about how similar they were to others on attitudes pre-selected as being either high or low in heritability. Tesser found that people liked others more when their similarity had been chosen (by him) on the more heritable items.

    You can read more here.
  • bornkillerbornkiller Administrator In your girlfriends snatch
    edited May 2011
    I agree with Negro.
    Talk your bullshit and believe in it. Shit works....seriously
    I like people, I don't have a problem relating to any particular type. I see it as marketing myself more than interactive socialization. Approach them at their level, don't over talk, makes them fell intimidated and don't lower yourself, or those MFs will see a weakness and feed off it.

    Personally I always portrayed you as quite sociable and seemed quite easy to relate to. :confused:
  • PsychoDelicPsychoDelic Regular
    edited May 2011
    bornkiller wrote: »
    I agree with Negro.
    Talk your bullshit and believe in it. Shit works....seriously
    I like people, I don't have a problem relating to any particular type. I see it as marketing myself more than interactive socialization. Approach them at their level, don't over talk, makes them fell intimidated and don't lower yourself, or those MFs will see a weakness and feed off it.

    Personally I always portrayed you as quite sociable and seemed quite easy to relate to. :confused:

    It's strange. Some people, some days, for no reason that I notice. I can have an enlightening, intellectual or amusing conversation. Especially with people I barely know.
    Then other times I'll hardly talk to people that are my best mates, well enough new arrivals. I'll just say nothing and watch the others talk.
    I used to 'act', I would analyse a situation then behave as the others in that situation did. For some reason I decided to stop that and just be myself. Now I can't get back in to the fraudulent persona, and myself is just fucking boring. :o
    Alcohol is good, why do you think I love it so much?
  • edited May 2011
    I find the best way to talk to women is to not mention things that they find 'weird' (ie like everything on this site;)), and to make lots of eye-contact, and generally keep them focused on themselves... Alcohol definitely helps me step my game up.


    I'm not sure if this is necessary ITT, but I never have trouble shooting the shit with guys; I have a natural rapport with people who enjoy getting belligerently drunk/high and like dirty/racist jokes, and that's really all you need to socialize with any dudes worth hangin with.
  • JestAJestA Regular
    edited May 2011
    I aviod conversation, i hate people.
  • edited May 2011
    JestA wrote: »
    I aviod conversation, i hate people.

    booze helps.
  • TadacantTadacant New Arrival
    edited May 2011
    Well, psychodelic, i have to say I am exactly the same, and goodjob and describing what I feel sometimes, although sometimes I am exactly that loud extroverted conversation-leader. Sometimes its just those days eh?
  • RaptafairiousRaptafairious Semo-Regulars
    edited May 2011
    Yeah, I can relate. You just observe, and you feel like your getting so much smarter, yet you feel like your not gaining any progress. Take more action, don't think so much, that's what I figured about me. Oh, and for that extra push you can't forget the booze. Drink that courage juice!
  • bornkillerbornkiller Administrator In your girlfriends snatch
    edited May 2011
    Some books on the subject.

    Intelligent Conversation with the Opposite Sex - by Johnny Walker.
    100 Of The Greatest Pickup Lines - by Jack Daniels.
    Yee-Haaa! I'm Gonna get me Some Tonight - by Pepe Lopez
    She Was Old Enough To Be My Granny - by Jim Beam
  • MooseKnuckleMooseKnuckle Regular
    edited May 2011
    get out of your head kid. you can't have a conversation both places. talk to everybody.. i had to break out of my shell back in the day, now it's nothing..
  • WANWAN Regular
    edited May 2011
    I don't worry too much about coming off as witty or interesting, I just say whatever's on my mind and if my company likes me as who I am, they will like what I have to say.
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited May 2011
    You're worried too much. Just relax. If you don't have anything to say then dont say anything. If someone puts you on the spot and you can't think of anything bullshit your way out. The trick to this is believing the bullshit you're selling. Also if you just can't seem to get your nerves up try a little bit of liquid courage. It works wonders on your confidence to be drunk.
  • BigHarryDickBigHarryDick Cock Bite
    edited May 2011
    In conversation I'm never lively, I can't think of smart or interesting replies or conversation starters. I used to be really good with people, I'm not really sure what happened.
    After a conversation I will think of great replies, especially in arguments, but never at the time. I'm not shy, I do whatever I want, around whoever I want. I just can't think of anything to say sometimes. I'm introverted, but this shouldn't make it this difficult to carry a conversation. I could've just numbed my brain from years of abuse. Even though internally I feel smarter, more aware, than I have ever been. In the exterior world I'm slow and disconnected.

    EDIT: Maybe this thread would be more suitable in N&N?

    or Bitch and moan.
    ;)

    what are you worried about? Start a convo.

    the key is to listen to her. then offer her money for a BJ

    works everytime
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