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100% of people I know...

MeloncholyMeloncholy Regular
edited May 2011 in Life
I'm in my early twenties so a few people I know are starting to settle down and get married etc. I was thinking about this last night and realised: Out of my friends who are roughly my age (give or take a year or two) 100% of those now engaged/married or that have kids were themselves fat as children. 100%. That can't be a coincidence. Not all of them are fat now (okay, all but one of them are still fat fucks), so why is this?

I once heard someone described as "just another fat kid fallen in love with the first person that shows an interest". I thought it a very cynical view at the time but now I'm not so sure.

Why are fatties in such a hurry to settle down?
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  • LuxJigabooLuxJigaboo Regular
    edited May 2011
    Meloncholy wrote: »
    Why are fatties in such a hurry to settle down?

    The same reason they are fat in the first place, they don't like to move around. :confused:
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  • NegrophobeNegrophobe Regular
    edited May 2011
    ... because being fat and old is pretty much a write off, even from the most desperate of men. She's useless. Fat women are mega-bitches, they not only like sucking your wallet they like to suck the life out of you until you're as miserable as they are. Well, that's the case with all women, but fat women more so.

    Once they've got you married you're pretty much fucked, as a male. Fat women have much less time to pull it off successfully and they know it, so they do it ASAP, often it doesn't matter who it's with (non-white immigrant most often, because no sane white man wants her).
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  • Gary OakGary Oak Regular
    edited May 2011
    Everybody knows that children are a fine delicacy. The reason they settle down so fast is to raise their children into plump little fuckers for eating purposes. It's kind of like an unspoken agreement. Once the spouse, (most likely a fatty too) knows that their significant other was teased for there fat bitch titties, they know that someday they'll spawn a child for eating. True Story.
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  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited May 2011
    I'm in my early twenties still and just married my young wife. We are both skinny and happy. I only know two fat married couples my age. Most the ither people I know my age are still "sowing their wild oats".
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  • NegrophobeNegrophobe Regular
    edited May 2011
    MissingMuse wrote: »
    just married...We are both skinny and happy.

    You just wait. Give it time.
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  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited May 2011
    Marriage makes you fat unless you're married to awesome guy or a dude.

    Avoid PAKI GIRLS AT ALL COSTS. They don't what the word EXCERCISE MEANS! Bitches are skinny at first and then put on weight that never goes away.
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  • Rumple ForeskinRumple Foreskin Regular
    edited May 2011
    Dfg wrote: »
    Avoid PAKI GIRLS AT ALL COSTS

    most guys outside pakistan do :o:o:o
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  • BigHarryDickBigHarryDick Cock Bite
    edited May 2011
    that was a stupid question.

    They are fat.....FUCKING HELLO MCFLY!
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  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited May 2011
    Rumple Foreskin wrote: »
    most guys outside pakistan do :o:o:o

    Yeah Dfg, in West London they were generally avoided like the plague. Well, a plague that was round every corner ;)
    As for me, I wonder why the fat fucks here are like that. Last year at Uni I knew a girl who was pretty minging, went through a load of desperate guys after parties and then settled down on (lol) some mediocre hipster type who was obviously too embroiled within his policies of equality, his hands were tied.
    Including when he proposed to her. Probably with an onion ring.

    I was talking about marriage and kids with my girlfriend. She will spend 4 days being 2 years older than me, which is odd to some. Still I know her so well and for so long. As for kids we prefer adoption and marriage can wait. She's like my best mate and girlfriend in 1....and if you read some of my older rants about females, you'd have thought I'd have been single all my life.
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