Lol what a fucking nutjob - Page 4 — Totseans

Lol what a fucking nutjob

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  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited September 2011
    [h=3]50 Small Dick Jokes[/h]
    1. When you got circumcised, did it take more than one try?
    2. Your dick's so small, you can sodomize anys.
    3. Your dick's so small, you can masturbate through the slits in a fork
    4. Your dick's so small, you rent out the Hubbell when you have to piss.
    5. Your dick's so small, bacteria laugh at it.
    6. Your dick's so small, you could screw a pasta strainer.
    7. Your dick's so small, the doctor wasn't quite sure what you were.
    8. I never knew you could have a belly button under your stomach.
    9. Your dick's so thin, I've seen paper clips wider.
    10. Your dick's so crooked, it's like a compass, it always points north.
    11. There's bread harder than your dick.
    12. Your dick's so small, you could get a B.J. from a crease in a lip.
    13. Your dick's so small, the police filed it a missing person.
    14. Your dick's so small, a cop frisks you and asks, "Sex change?"
    15. Your dick's so thin, you could turn it sideways and it'd disappear.
    16. Your dick's so thin, Calista Flockhart (Ally McBeal) is jealous.
    17. Your dick's so small, when you have sex, girls ask if it's in yet.
    18. Your dick's so ugly, it's like a pimple with a pulse.
    19. When you go swimming in cold water, does your dick get bigger?
    20. Your confusin an inch with a foot again.
    21. Your dick's so small, satisfying a woman for you is "Mission: Impossible".
    22. There's a wrinkle in your pants, you hard?
    23. How about I kick you in the nuts? That's a foot. Contrast and compare.
    24. Your dick's so small, when you were born, the doctor smacked the wrong side.
    25. Are you ever gonna get that wart lanced?
    26. What does a man with a small penis have for breakfast? (PAUSE) I dunno, what'd you have?
    27. Your dick's so thin, paper called you up and said, "YOU BASTARD!"
    28. Your dick's so small, it sleeps in a matchbox with a cotton swab pillow.
    29. Your dick's so small, you'll never be half the man your mother was.
    30. Your dick's so small, you could use a thimble and fishing line for a thong.
    31. Your dick's so small, I haven't laughed that hard since I saw your balls.
    32. Your dick's so small, your condoms look like the thumb of a latex glove.
    33. I bet you can make your dick disappear by breathing in and out.
    34. Your dick's so ugly it cries itself to sleep at night.
    35. Your dick's so small, you stand next to a light switch naked all day crying.
    36. You got less meat in your pants than there is in a vegetarian restaurant.
    37. After hours of going at it with a woman, she yawns and asks if you're done yet.
    38. Your dick's so small, it looks like one of the California raisins.
    39. Your dick must be tiny, I heard you had sex with a shower head.
    40. When you get hard it looks like a toothpick.
    41. Your dick's so thin, it represents Weight Watchers.
    42. Your dick's so ugly, they put in fields to scare away the crows.
    43. Your dick's so small, your girlfriend took it to court and they threw it out for lack of evidence.
    44. The only time you can give a woman orgasm is when you pull out your American Express.
    45. Your dick's so small, you think it's gonna explode when you cum.
    46. Your doctor called he said you had a small problem.
    47. You have to put the seat down to piss, right?
    48. The only thing your dick's bigger than is a grain of dust.
    49. Your dick's so small, you piss on your nuts.
    50. Your dick's so small, sperm's a tight squeeze.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited September 2011
    5sDPZ.jpg

    0TqV.jpg
    "Are you trying to squeeze an extra inch in on me there Private?!"
  • juggjugg Regular
    edited September 2011
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited September 2011
    25kj1br.jpg

    Real men use a carpenters square.
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited September 2011
    28. Your dick's so small, it sleeps in a matchbox with a cotton swab pillow.
    29. Your dick's so small, you'll never be half the man your mother was.


    HAhahah, hahahahaha. I am sorry but this is just damn fucking funny.
  • juggjugg Regular
    edited September 2011
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited September 2011
    RemadE wrote: »
    5sDPZ.jpg

    0TqV.jpg
    "Are you trying to squeeze an extra inch in on me there Private?!"

    [SOUNDCLOUD]
  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited September 2011
    OMG, lol Malice/Buku's dick is so small & nasty. ROFL. Don't quote the pic anymore please, my eyes can't take it! :eek:
  • juggjugg Regular
    edited September 2011
    His new name should be "The Angry Inch"
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited September 2011
    jugg wrote: »
    His new name should be "The Angry Inch"

    Hedwig___the_Angry_Inch__vers2.jpg
  • BukujutsuBukujutsu The Angry Inch
    edited September 2011
    ShadyTroll wrote: »
    OMG, lol Malice/Buku's dick is so small & nasty. ROFL. Don't quote the pic anymore please, my eyes can't take it! :eek:

    Do you like big cocks, Shady? How big is your husbands?
  • BukujutsuBukujutsu The Angry Inch
    edited September 2011
    How the fuck did you fuckers change my avatar?! Who did this?!
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited September 2011
    Bukujutsu wrote: »
    How the fuck did you fuckers change my avatar?! Who did this?!

    Hahaha I just noticed that ZOMFG
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited September 2011
    Lol cat fucker
  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited September 2011
    Bukujutsu wrote: »
    Do you like big cocks, Shady? How big is your husbands?

    Why the FUCK are you obsessed with my husband's dick? :facepalm: Fucking sick.
    Bukujutsu wrote: »
    How the fuck did you fuckers change my avatar?! Who did this?!

    AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH. I love whoever did that!
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited September 2011
    th_cat.gif

    Original picture.
  • DaktologistDaktologist Global Moderator
    edited September 2011
    ShadyTroll wrote: »
    Why the FUCK are you obsessed with my husband's dick? :facepalm: Fucking sick.

    You know he would molest your husband if he got the chance.
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited September 2011
    The guy deserves a custom user title too.


    Something like


    CAT FUCKER
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited September 2011
    dr rocker wrote: »
    The guy deserves a custom user title too.


    Something like


    CAT FUCKER

    The Angry Inch

    How about that?
  • DaktologistDaktologist Global Moderator
    edited September 2011
    Dfg wrote: »
    The Angry Inch

    How about that?

    Haha perfect.
  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited September 2011
    You know he would molest your husband if he got the chance.

    I bet he would. SICK. :angry:
    dr rocker wrote: »
    The guy deserves a custom user title too.


    Something like


    CAT FUCKER

    Or cat molester.
    Dfg wrote: »
    The Angry Inch

    How about that?

    loooooool.
  • TheWitchDoctorTheWitchDoctor Regular
    edited September 2011
    Malice you need to stop posting pictures. :facepalm:
  • BoxBox Regular
    edited September 2011
    WHY WOULD YOU POST PICS OF YOUR MICROPENIS???!?! :confused:
  • DaktologistDaktologist Global Moderator
    edited September 2011
    Women would be like "Is it in yet?".
  • BukujutsuBukujutsu The Angry Inch
    edited September 2011
    Keep laughing.

    No one has posted this, so I will:
    It's very unlikely. I believe it's about 2%.

    Thank you Lanny, but I know you're just saying that so I won't kill myself.

    You're not a man, you don't know what it's like to have this condition.

    I know people say size doesn't matter, but that's only true to a point. Satisfying intercourse could never be possible like this and I'm actually a very lonely person.

    That isn't even the size it usually is, I was actually trying to get aroused so it wouldn't seem so pathetic. You guys know how your dick and balls change size when flaccid depending on the temperature? Mine gets so small and my foreskin gets so tight I can't even piss.

    I took that pic sitting down. When I stand up it damn near goes inside of me:

    ZvKeo.jpg

    dJye5.jpg

    Imagine being in school and having panic attacks before gym class because you were scared shitless that one day they might force you to shower or someone would pull your underwear down.

    It's just too much for a person to handle.

    Not one person here has any compassion? You're all disgusting.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited September 2011
    Bukujutsu wrote: »
    Keep laughing.

    No one has posted this, so I will:



    Not one person here has any compassion? You're all disgusting.

    You might as well just slap a strip of tape on that shit, grow some tits, and learn to take it in the ass.
  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited September 2011
    OMG, his dick is like fucking deformed. :facepalm: He should see a doctor about that.
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited September 2011
    Bukujutsu wrote: »
    Not one person here has any compassion? You're all disgusting.

    LOL. At least we have dicks we can use.

    You on the otherhand are so fucked up, Mother nature / evolution / some higher power has seen fit to make it damn near impossible to breed naturally. I am relieved this is the case, because you passing your genes on to anything would be little more than a disaster for our species, if you are indeed part of it.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited September 2011
    dr rocker wrote: »
    LOL. At least we have dicks we can use.

    You on the otherhand are so fucked up, Mother nature / evolution / some higher power has seen fit to make it damn near impossible to breed naturally. I am relieved this is the case, because you passing your genes on to anything would be little more than a disaster for our species, if you are indeed part of it.

    The only way he could knock up a chick is if he came in his sisters shoes and let the flies do the rest.
  • NegrophobeNegrophobe Regular
    edited September 2011
    Malice, you squalid spic, you're the very definition of a dysfunctional undermining of masculinity. I've never seen anyone on the internet display as many feminine characteristics as you do. I mean, why are you so desperate to be seen as "fucked up" by people that you'll never ever meet that you've cybered with another filthy pig to put your username next to it (yeah, I don't believe most of these pics are belonging to you). You're a god-awful worshipper of rectums. Everyone should just starve you of the attention you're craving, from this post onwards.
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited September 2011
    The only way he could knock up a chick is if he came in his sisters shoes and let the flies do the rest.

    If that was a hope for him, he may have some hope. In all reality nature has probably wired his tubes backwards so he cums into his bladder (when it feels like he is cumming against a cat. Its little mercy his swimmers are drown in retard piss. I expect he also has some physical condition - apart from having a laughably small penis - I have seen clits half that size in front of me and more that size in pictures.

    The guy needs to face the fact his only duty in life is to write instructions that upon his death he wants to be composted through a very large amount - 100 tons for his current bodyweight I would say. Burning him is no good, he would more than likely have so much shit infested with heavy metals (a more than valid reason for retardation) that burning would do little more than concentrate them.

    If he had any decency as a human being at all, he would find himself a job on a ship, that goes over remote regions of the earth. Parts of the Antartic or Pacific oceans maybe the Indian ocean. Where is was farthest away from most people, he should jump.

    Failing that, living in a IAEA reocognised danger zone a a hermit. The world needs more hermits.

    He may be a cat molester, but he has options.
  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited September 2011
    Bukujutsu wrote: »
    Not one person here has any compassion? You're all disgusting.

    Why should we have compassion for you when you repeatedly insult us & admit to abusing animals? You're sick. Your dick doesn't look right. A brown shrived dick is NOT normal. I'm not trying to be mean here, you NEED to see a doctor.
    Bukujutsu wrote: »
    Relax Shady, you sound like kind of a bitch and, I don't know how to describe it, the kind of loser that goes to clubs, wears fashionable clothes, the uppity loser kind of female that's probably the norm now.

    I'm going to a club this weekend, does that make you rage? :p
    dr rocker wrote: »
    You on the otherhand are so fucked up, Mother nature / evolution / some higher power has seen fit to make it damn near impossible to breed naturally. I am relieved this is the case, because you passing your genes on to anything would be little more than a disaster for our species, if you are indeed part of it.

    I agree. His body is not designed to reproduce. Mother Nature is saving the human race from having little mentally ill junior Bukus around.
  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited September 2011
    ShadyTroll wrote: »
    Your dick doesn't look right. A brown shrived dick is NOT normal. I'm not trying to be mean here, you NEED to see a doctor.

    I just realized he is most likely on Medicaid & if he goes to the doctor our tax dollars will pay for it. :facepalm: :angry:
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited September 2011
    [SOUNDCLOUD]

    Angry Inch Lyrics



    My sex-change operation got botched
    My guardian angel fell asleep on the watch
    Now all I got is a Barbie Doll-crotch
    I got an angry inch

    Six inches forward and five inches back
    I got a
    I got an angry inch
    Six inches forward and five inches back
    I got a
    I got an angry inch

    I’m from the land where you still hear the cries
    I had to get out, had to sever all ties
    I changed my name and assumed a disguise
    I got an angry inch

    Six inches forward and five inches back
    I got a
    I got an angry inch
    Six inches forward and five inches back
    I got a
    I got an angry inch
    Six inches forward and five inches back
    The train is coming and I’m tied to the track
    I try to get up but I can’t get no slack
    I got a
    Angry Inch Angry Inch

    My mother made my tits out of clay
    My boyfriend told me that he’d take me away
    They dragged me to the doctor one day
    I've got an angry inch

    Six inches forward and five inches back
    I got a
    I got an angry inch
    Six inches forward and five inches back
    I got a
    I got an angry inch

    Long story short
    When I woke up from the operation
    I was bleeding down there
    I was bleeding from the gash between my legs
    My first day as a woman
    and already it’s that time of the month
    But two days later
    the hole closed up
    The wound healed
    and I was left with a one inch mound of flesh
    where my penis used to be
    where my vagina never was
    A one inch mound of flesh with a scar running down it
    like a sideways grimace
    on an eyeless face
    Just a little bulge
    It was an angry inch

    Six inches forward and five inches back
    The train is coming and I’m tied to the track
    I try to get up but I can’t get no slack
    I got an
    Angry Inch Angry Inch

    Six inches forward and five inches back
    stay under cover till the night turns to black
    I got my inch and I’m set to attack
    I got an Angry Inch Angry Inch
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited September 2011
    To be fair, he could have a glitering career ahead of him as a harem guard.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited September 2011
    dr rocker wrote: »
    To be fair, he could have a glitering career ahead of him as a harem guard.

    There is always that...
  • juggjugg Regular
    edited September 2011
    Do you have to stick your thumb up your ass when you take a piss to make your dick pop out?
  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited September 2011
    He hasn't posted in 2 days! Maybe the profile pic is too much.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited September 2011
    ShadyTroll wrote: »
    He hasn't posted in 2 days! Maybe the profile pic is too much.

    Or maybe he did the race a favor and hung himself.
  • DaktologistDaktologist Global Moderator
    edited September 2011
    jugg wrote: »
    Do you have to stick your thumb up your ass when you take a piss to make your dick pop out?

    Haha this.
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited September 2011
    Why did he post new pictures. Dammit.
  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited October 2011
    He posted on &Z this morning so he didn't kill himself. Damn. :(
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited October 2011
    Did he posts his tiny dic pic over there as well?
  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited October 2011
    Did he posts his tiny dic pic over there as well?

    Yah.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited October 2011
    I got my Psychiatric evaluation forms back today after going home on the way to University. Not as mental as OP, but pretty funny nonetheless...
    Thoughts of harming others: Yes, strangers/sister but no intent to act on these. Turns into "the Hulk".

    Views of others: "Necessary"

    View of the world: "Inevitable"

    Unusual beliefs: "No. Interested in extremist beliefs but does not participate in any"

    Drugs history: "Magic mushrooms - positive experience. Previous Cannabis use - no problems. None now"

    Good times.
  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited October 2011
    Fucking lol, I forgot about this:

    maliced.jpg
  • RogueEagle91RogueEagle91 Regular
    edited October 2011
    RemadE wrote: »
    I got my Psychiatric evaluation forms back today after going home on the way to University. Not as mental as OP, but pretty funny nonetheless...
    Thoughts of harming others: Yes, strangers/sister but no intent to act on these. Turns into "the Hulk".

    Views of others: "Necessary"

    View of the world: "Inevitable"

    Unusual beliefs: "No. Interested in extremist beliefs but does not participate in any"

    Drugs history: "Magic mushrooms - positive experience. Previous Cannabis use - no problems. None now"



    Good times.

    All of that is the reason I love my doctor.
    She always asks if I ever feel like hurting myself.
    Never asks if I feel like hurting other people.
    I just go in, have a simple little chat, get a prescription refill.
    Works just fine for me.

    Edit: Also, TDR, you are awesome for the Hedwig song.
    From what I've read of the OP's ramblings, I can wrap my head around some of his logic, I'll admit.
    It's less a matter of sympathizing with him, and more years of cynicism.
    Fuck orphanages, bitch.
    He's still fucking nuts.
  • LouisCypherLouisCypher Regular
    edited October 2011
    dr rocker wrote: »
    To be fair, he could have a glitering career ahead of him as a harem guard.

    Fucking LOL. +100 points for you.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited October 2011
    Fucking LOL. +100 points for you.

    STFU, Everyone but you gets to make fun of Buku and you are the only one Buku is allowed to make fun of.
  • BukujutsuBukujutsu The Angry Inch
    edited October 2011
    Why does LouisCypher deserve to be made fun of by me?

    You can't hurt me, I'm protected by a Blind Guardian.
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