This fucking bush...

edited October 2011 in Spurious Generalities
No, I'm not talking about my pubic hairs. Outside the window of my flat is a large bush, Buddleja to be precise. It takes up basically all of the view outside which sucks balls. I COULD try talking to the receptionist and see if I can get something done about it, but there's a problem - they've fenced off the back area of the building so no one can actually get out there, not even someone who works here. You can't even reach it from the other side of the bush either as it's also inaccessible.

Basically, I need to get rid of this shit. Does it die off in the winter? Should I spray some toxic shit out of the window and hope it reaches the bush?

Oh, and I can't open the window very much at ALL as there's some dumb safety restrictions on it.

Comments

  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited October 2011
    Bleach, a funnel, and some tubing?
  • edited October 2011
    Bleach could work. I can easily unscrew the pipe which connects my shower-head to the wall and use that as the tubing. A funnel and bleach could be bought from the shop. Only problem is, the bush is absolutely HUGE. People would obviously be able to see that I'd messed with the bush.
  • chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
    edited October 2011
    Buddleia is a massive bush growing to about 30' high. it loses it's leaves in the winter but doesn't die back. You would need a hell of a lot of bleach to kill something that size, and it's a pretty hardy plant. A good dose of a weedkiller like roundup should do it, or application of a load of salt round the roots would eventually cause it to die. But bear in mind, this will also kill any plants around it and make the soil unable to grow anything for a long time to come.
  • ThirdRockFromTheSunThirdRockFromTheSun <b style="color:blue;">Third<em style="color:pink;">Cock</em>FromThe<em style="color:brown;">Bum</em
    edited October 2011
    If you don't want to kill the thing, you could just cut the leaves off around your window, and give it a trim every now and then, if that's a possibility?
  • edited October 2011
    Interesting. I can definitely say you're right when you say it's a massive bush - damn thing is about 25 meters long and 4 or 5 meters tall, and I'm on the ground floor so visibility is seriously reduced :(

    EDIT: Oh, and Thirdrock, I can barely get my freakin' HAND out of the window let alone anything to cut it. Even if I could get something out there, I wouldn't be able to manuver it to cut the branches :(
  • chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
    edited October 2011
    Ahhhh now if you are on the ground floor, another method may be to have a go at your window. Usually the opening restriction will be either, in the case of uPVC double glazed windows, a plastic block held in place with a single screw in the sliding channel of the hinge assembly on one side of the window frame, or a hinged restraint bar secured with a couple of screws at each end between the window itself and the frame. In either case it would just take a couple of seconds with a screwdriver to remove the restraint temporarily to enable you to climb out there with a chain saw.
  • edited October 2011
    I just took a look at the restraint - looks like a screwdriver job in a few seconds. I'd need a bit of help though, a second pair of hands for sure. The window looks heavy as fuck, big metal frame with double glazing and shit. Definitely possible though, and it would allow me enough space to reach out of the window. Now, if only I had some kind of extendable hedge trimmers - theres a gap between the window and the bush of about a meter and although I live on the ground floor, there's a considerable drop between my window and the ground outside.

    Ideas for homemade extendable hedge trimmers? :D
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    Why don't you just jump the fence?
  • edited October 2011
    The fence is one of those really tall ones with spikes on top. Y'know, the ones they use to stop people from jumping over it :D
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited October 2011
    Rosate 36. It is glyphosate on steriods.

    Then you must follow the instructions on the safe use of herbicide, land owners permission, public liability insurance if you are doing it on land which is not yours etcetera...

    You are probably better off giving a chav £5 to get rid of it for you. They will most likely set fire to it. Is it close enough to your building to be a worry that a 14 year old Ford Escort has been set fire to in the bush?
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    trx100 wrote:
    The fence is one of those really tall ones with spikes on top. Y'know, the ones they use to stop people from jumping over it :D

    No pain no gain ... If you really want to trim that bush you will find a way over it ... I believe in you
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited October 2011
    Salt round the base of it? Like, a fuckload? There's still a dead-grass penis on my campus from my first year :D
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited October 2011
    RemadE wrote: »
    Salt round the base of it? Like, a fuckload? There's still a dead-grass penis on my campus from my first year :D

    Man you gotta post a pic of that bro.
  • fagfag Regular
    edited October 2011
    Rent/Steal/Borrow one of these.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited October 2011
    Man you gotta post a pic of that bro.

    Will do :) shall go looking for it this afternoon. Hope it's still as clean as when Security said "man did you see this penis someone made on the grass by where you lived in your first year?"

    "Yes....I made it"

    "Quality!"

    Edit - Delivered!

    Here it is, although slightly faded. Not seen it since the start of last year, so just over a year ago. You do realise that means I will be buying another 2kg bag of salt to do it all over again with, right? Painted the vague position of the shaft and balls. Got some odd looks from a girl sitting in her ground floor room as I was laughing and taking photos of the grass before walking away.
    Cock..faded.jpg

    I hope that image is working for you lot. it looks corrupted as fuck to me. If not, just say and I'll go and reupload/edit it. Very odd :confused:
  • LysdexicLysdexic Regular
    edited October 2011
    Wait till winter then salt it, blame it on gritters?

    Petrol is a good weedkiller, use a weedsprayer for range.
    Its cheeper than real weedkiller also.
  • LysdexicLysdexic Regular
    edited October 2011
    Wait till winter then salt it, blame it on gritters?

    Petrol is a good weedkiller, use a weedsprayer for range.
    Its cheeper than real weedkiller also.
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