Getting back at the trick-or-treaters

edited November 2011 in Spurious Generalities
Every year, we're bombarded with little kiddies running around, knocking at our doors and asking us to give them goodies. It's all fun and games when you're a little kid, but when you get a little older, you start to hate it more and more... I remember last year, we just shut the curtains in the front room and turned out all the lights, as well as locking the doors/windows and hoping no one threw eggs at the house. Sure, this may mean that you don't have to answer the door, but what if you wanted to prank the trick or treaters?

In this thread, we should discuss various methods of sabotaging the trick or treaters. Be creative, tis the season ;)

Trip Wire - Get yourself some thick, strong fishing line and tie it across the entrance to your driveway. Set up a video camera and just watch as the kiddies start faceplanting!

Explosive candy - Rig your candy wrappers with flash powder. With any luck, they'll frantically open it and be met with a bang.

Watch your step - Got a dog? Save it's shit up in a bag. Pick a popular house for trick-or-treaters (some rich old person would be ideal) and cover the ground in shit. It will be dark and people won't see it. Whoops!

Comments

  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited October 2011
    Spray paint the outside of your house with words like 'nonce' and 'peado'. No one will come knocking.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited October 2011
    I remember one year the house I was living in had a raised front porch with a railing around it. My old lady at the time stayed in the house and handed out candy to the kids. I, on the other hand hood in the bushes with an idling chainsaw with the chain removed. I attached a large chain to my ankle that was just long enough to let me get to the top step on the landing and dressed in torn clothing which I soaked in fake blood. With a bit of theatrical make up I managed to make my face look like it was been cut and scratched by finger nails.

    When the kids would get there candy, before the could start back down the stairs, I would leap from the bushes laughing maniacally as I revved the chains saw and ran up the stairs as far as the chain on my ankle would allow. It was great fun watching them as the leapt over the railing into my lawn to escape.
  • ELETRiCKELETRiCK Semo-Regulars
    edited October 2011
    Caramel Apple kits + onions. 'nuff said.
  • SpinsterSpinster Regular
    edited October 2011
    buy a huge angry dog
  • Chris HansenChris Hansen Regular
    edited October 2011
    ELETRiCK wrote: »
    Caramel Apple kits + onions. 'nuff said.

    Fuck yes. This is a bomb idea.
  • HelladamnleetHelladamnleet Banned
    edited October 2011
    Here's a couple good ones!

    Give them actual candy and stop being a dick.

    Or you could call the fucking cops when your shit get's messed with. Either way it's going to get fucked with.

    Here's an even better one, call the cops before your shit get's fucked with so they patrol your street a couple times. It makes the odds of anything happening drop like a lead weight.
  • SpinsterSpinster Regular
    edited October 2011
    Think you need to read this, stole it from the random things to hook up thread.
    http://www.paintballsentry.com/
  • edited October 2011
    Think you need to read this, stole it from the random things to hook up thread.
    http://www.paintballsentry.com/

    Holy crap, that thing looks badass. Set it up on your roof above your door and you'll be able to shoot at people without them even noticing it until it's too late :D
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited October 2011
    I used to set up tripwires and flares with the odd firecracker. Another addition was for me to lie on top of my garage roof with a detonator in my hands, wait for it...and BOOM. Proper 5th November style.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited October 2011
    RemadE wrote: »
    I used to set up tripwires and flares with the odd firecracker. Another addition was for me to lie on top of my garage roof with a detonator in my hands, wait for it...and BOOM. Proper 5th November style.

    Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
    the Gunpowder Treason and Plot,

    I see no reason why Gunpowder Treason should ever be forgot.
    Guy Fawkes, t’was his intent to blow up King and Parliament.

    Three score barrels were laid below to prove old England’s overthrow;
    By God’s mercy he was catch’d with a dark lantern and lighted match.

    Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring.
    Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!

    Hip hip hoorah!

    A penny loaf to feed the Pope
    A farthing o’ cheese to choke him.

    A pint of beer to rinse it down.
    A faggot of sticks to burn him.

    Burn him in a tub of tar.
    Burn him like a blazing star.

    Burn his body from his head.
    Then we’ll say ol’ Pope is dead.

    Hip hip hoorah!
    Hip hip hoorah hoorah!
  • LysdexicLysdexic Regular
    edited October 2011
    A guy at work suggested getting really sour lollys and mixing them in with the normal stuff.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited October 2011
    Condoms with a needle perforation in?
  • GoingNowhereGoingNowhere Global Moderator
    edited October 2011
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    it would be expensive ... but give out crack instead of candy ... it will ruin not just their night but their whole life
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited October 2011
    jehsiboi wrote: »
    it would be expensive ... but give out crack instead of candy ... it will ruin not just their night but their whole life

    LOL! This. Or just roam the streets away from your neighbourhood and sell them shitty drugs (assuming they are of that age and sort).
    I'd also go with water pistols and piss. Really smelly, dehydrated, yellow/brown piss.
  • chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
    edited October 2011
    Pro tip, just use 1/4 of a bucket of water to throw at them after appearing from round the side of the house shouting "get off my lawn" More then 1/4 of a bucket is hard to aim and causes comment from parents. 1/4 of a bucket is also quicker to reload.

    I love Halloween :)
  • dr rockerdr rocker Regular
    edited October 2011
    Go to the door tell them about the power of Jehovah, give them copies of The Watchtower and ask for a fair chunck of their salary as a 'donation'.

    The will be like : 'WTF?'
  • DaktologistDaktologist Global Moderator
    edited October 2011
  • (nameless one)(nameless one) Regular
    edited October 2011
    That or sit outside your door (preferably on a rocking chair) naked.
  • GoingNowhereGoingNowhere Global Moderator
    edited November 2011
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited November 2011
    You could always buy nothing but chocolate, open each candy and slide a little sliver of glass inside then smoosh the chocolate back in place and seal that end of the wrapper with superglue. They will open the other end and will be none the wiser until they either bite down on glass, cut their throat, have internal bleeding or anal bleeding. Fun for everyone.
  • chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
    edited November 2011
    WOW, that's almost as harsh as the courts would be when the police catch up with you.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited November 2011
    You could always buy nothing but chocolate, open each candy and slide a little sliver of glass inside then smoosh the chocolate back in place and seal that end of the wrapper with superglue. They will open the other end and will be none the wiser until they either bite down on glass, cut their throat, have internal bleeding or anal bleeding. Fun for everyone.

    There's "getting back" then that :eek:
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited November 2011
    You could always buy nothing but chocolate, open each candy and slide a little sliver of glass inside then smoosh the chocolate back in place and seal that end of the wrapper with superglue. They will open the other end and will be none the wiser until they either bite down on glass, cut their throat, have internal bleeding or anal bleeding. Fun for everyone.

    MM I am shocked.
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