So last night I'd drank a margarita. Pretty good size. Used a full pint mug, maybe 5 shots of tequila. Im a lightweight, so I was pretty much set. Also, pre-frozen margarita mix cubes are the way to go.
Anyway, I was getting pretty bored with the evening's development. So I decided to brush my teeth.
Then after that, I was feeling a bit frisky and slightly deviant, so I grabbed the strap-on dildo out from beneath the bed. Then I produced some vaseline and a condom off my nightstand.
Anyways, after a bit of painful ramming, I concluded I really hated things in my ass. I thought maybe it just took some time to grow accustomed to it. But no, not in my case.
So I peel the rubber johnnie off the 7" silicone dick and toss it in the trash. Only it wasn't the trash. It was actually my boot. This is a fucking $500 pair of boots, mind you. Luckily, it was turned inside out, so it probably isn't too big a deal.
This morning, I see some remnants of brown shit stuck to the condom. So I decided to toss it in an empty ice cream box. Chocolate, no less. I also had a used syringe laying around, so I tossed that in there too. Im probably going to leave the ice cream box near a school or something.