I can't keep it bottled up anymore — Totseans

I can't keep it bottled up anymore

MolecularSuperstructureMolecularSuperstructure Semo-Regulars
edited June 2012 in Spurious Generalities
Alright so I'm a pothead, and have been for over 12 years now. Believe me, it's not something I'm proud of. Throughout the years I've tried various substances and chemicals. I had a brush with cocaine addiction a few years back. Well, recently, like in the last month, I tried heroin. I haven't shot it up or anything, was just doing bumps of it. Well I did it too many days in a row and went in to mild withdrawals which sucked but was bearable. So I don't get like full blown hooked, on Fridays I usually get $40-$60 worth of dope and just keep doing bumps throughout the weekend. Usually by Monday it's all gone, then I don't do any again till Friday. Like only 2 other people know I've done this. I'm worried cuz out of my group of friends, I was the only one to cross the line and "go past weed and psychedelics". So I worry that if I told my friends they would judge me, write me off as a junkie or addict, and stop being friends with me

Comments

  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited June 2012
    Stop now.
  • MolecularSuperstructureMolecularSuperstructure Semo-Regulars
    edited June 2012
    I pretty much have. It's like is this really who I am? Who I'm destined to be? Some fucking heroin junkie? There's this voice "one more time won't kill you". The thing is the voice will keep saying the same thing, whether I listen to it or not. I'm a good person, a nice guy, I have lots of good friends I wouldn't trade anything for, but I have an addictive personality, and I believe that just one aspect of a bigger problem
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited June 2012
    Stop now, rethink your life, find some one that you care about and share your burden with us. If you have the temptation to get high, workout, write, fucking sing if you have too. Keep yourself away from them. You're better than that, you don't need to destroy yourself imaginary gains.

    If you need help or want to talk about it, TS and Skype is there.

    We're here to help you get over this bro. Getting addicted to drugs IS NOT GOOD. Save yourself!
  • ThirdRockFromTheSunThirdRockFromTheSun <b style="color:blue;">Third<em style="color:pink;">Cock</em>FromThe<em style="color:brown;">Bum</em
    edited June 2012
    You say you've already pretty much kicked it- that's part one. Well done! Your friends might judge a bit, but you've only tried it, it's not like you keep doing it over and over, it was just a try. I agree with TDR and DFG, stop and don't look back, but you only tried it, and it's over now. If you were still doing it, selling your items to get more and doing stupid shit to get cash, THEN you'd be a junkie. You don't necessarily need to tell your friends, but you have to realise if they were your friends, they wouldn't go "hey this guy is a faggot, let's leave him!"

    Don't worry bro, we're here to talk!
  • edited June 2012
    It's threads like this which makes me wonder why we don't have the drugs section open again. People like you need help and support, and we're all here to offer it to you :thumbsup: Keep focused, don't let the drugs take control or give in to any little craving you have.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited June 2012
    Take it from me, someone who's recently fallen off the rehab-wagon with opiates (after years of like you, smoking weed, doing coke etc) that it just makes the comedown worse. Nothing is more painful than having a big comedown/withdrawal from drugs and then finding out they will have one with their friends - increasing the chances of further abuse.

    Just wind it down, man. There are different chapters in our lives for a reason. You've begun to write the end of this one.
  • MolecularSuperstructureMolecularSuperstructure Semo-Regulars
    edited June 2012
    Oh man, reading your guys posts make me feel a lot better. There was a time when I was firm, stomped my foot down, and promised myself three drugs I would NEVER do would be crystal meth, crack, and heroin. I still have never tried meth, nor will I ever. I tried freebased coke one time like 7 years ago and I was so ungodly, inhumanly high it was uncomfortable and that too I will never do again, once was enough. Felt like I ran a marathon in five minutes and I could hear crackling in my ears as my brain cells popped haha! Basically I am all for experiencing new things, I take a scientific stand point whereas no matter how much research I do, or how many other people's experiences I read about, I have to experience it and find out for myself. Well, this new guy started at my job, I had to train him. I come to find out he was a heroin user, and I started thinking. This is the first time in my life that I met someone that was into that. I told him that's cool, I don't judge, but I would never try it. His reply was "Heroin is a hell of a buzz". So that got me thinking, piqued my interest. Wowie!! An opportunity for a new experience! So I eventually tried it, he got me a few bags. One bag lasted me like 2 days because I would do soooo little. Well before you know it, I'm calling him up asking him if wants to take a ride like every 2-3 days, because we have to drive like a half hour to go it. Keep in mind, I never shot it, always sniffed it. I even asked the dude if I could try shooting it, he wouldn't let me, which was most definitely for the best. Hahaha I feel like I'm rambling, I'm sorry guys
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited June 2012
    Oh man, reading your guys posts make me feel a lot better. There was a time when I was firm, stomped my foot down, and promised myself three drugs I would NEVER do would be crystal meth, crack, and heroin. I still have never tried meth, nor will I ever. I tried freebased coke one time like 7 years ago and I was so ungodly, inhumanly high it was uncomfortable and that too I will never do again, once was enough. Felt like I ran a marathon in five minutes and I could hear crackling in my ears as my brain cells popped haha! Basically I am all for experiencing new things, I take a scientific stand point whereas no matter how much research I do, or how many other people's experiences I read about, I have to experience it and find out for myself. Well, this new guy started at my job, I had to train him. I come to find out he was a heroin user, and I started thinking. This is the first time in my life that I met someone that was into that. I told him that's cool, I don't judge, but I would never try it. His reply was "Heroin is a hell of a buzz". So that got me thinking, piqued my interest. Wowie!! An opportunity for a new experience! So I eventually tried it, he got me a few bags. One bag lasted me like 2 days because I would do soooo little. Well before you know it, I'm calling him up asking him if wants to take a ride like every 2-3 days, because we have to drive like a half hour to go it. Keep in mind, I never shot it, always sniffed it. I even asked the dude if I could try shooting it, he wouldn't let me, which was most definitely for the best. Hahaha I feel like I'm rambling, I'm sorry guys

    The train will crash in the end, it always does. Find something else bro, working out, fucking would work and can work. Don't waste yourself.
  • MolecularSuperstructureMolecularSuperstructure Semo-Regulars
    edited June 2012
    Dfg wrote: »
    The train will crash in the end, it always does. Find something else bro, working out, fucking would work and can work. Don't waste yourself.

    I know. It will always crash in the end. I'm a smart guy, like I knew going in to the situation it wasn't the best of ideas. Then again, I thought I was the exception to the rule, I wouldn't develop a habit, I wouldn't get hooked, but I did. The worst part is behind me now, just gotta steer clear of the bullshit, thank you guys for hearing me out and offering your advice, it is much appreciated :)
  • edited June 2012
    That's the Totseans spirit :thumbsup: Glad you've kicked it, you seem to have turned it all around and I'm sure you'll have no trouble staying away from it. Learn from the experience, that's the most important thing!
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited June 2012
    I know. It will always crash in the end. I'm a smart guy, like I knew going in to the situation it wasn't the best of ideas. Then again, I thought I was the exception to the rule, I wouldn't develop a habit, I wouldn't get hooked, but I did. )

    Welcome to the club, man. Glad you've started to make progress just by realising your situation though.
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