50 shades of rant

RemadERemadE Global Moderator
edited July 2012 in Spurious Generalities
No doubt you will have heard of the softcore assumption-fest known as the "50 shades of Grey", which makes all Women seem to like weird, sensual-but-sadistic sex, changing them from being "vanilla girls" into some sort of freaky fuckfest - but does it?

It's weird. Ive read a few chapters of this reworded version of Twilight, and I have to say that it's cringeworthy, and enough of a sensation to even get a negative fame-spin, through things like this.

In fact when I first heard of this book and that girls I know, and knew, are reading it I immediately wanted to snatch it out of their grippy little paws and replace it with one of the books written by the criminally insane Marquis de Sade, where the characters aren't the sexual slaves of invented millionaires - instead a commentary on what actually did happen in Europe's history and some sensationalism.

The book has a certain oddness about it in that the most used part of the body seems to be the thumb, from what I can gather, and the awkward sexual dialogue still exists:

"Let go, baby" he murmurs. His teeth close round my nipple, and his thumb and finger pull hard, and I fall apart in his hands, my body convulsing and shattering into a thousand pieces. He kisses me, deeply, his tongue in my mouth absorbing my cries"

Now, I've been in a relationship which was very BDSM-leaning and I can safely say that this book is about as rampant as a tired out hag. In the past, such books as "Lady Chatterly's Lover" caused controversy and were even banned in the UK - yet my Grandfather managed to get a copy when in the Army, and that was considered raunchy in his day.

I think things such as the Internet have desensitised people who are on sites like this to the point of expecting to be shocked by extreme boundary-pushing. However the majority of people who read this book don't even know of shock sites, and that's why I think their fragile minds will still be tantalised by the words in this book, no matter how cheesy. Hence why the target audience seems to be mostly housewives and girls who like to seem "edgy", especially as the main character in this book, Miss Steele, is still a virgin by the time she ends up in the grasp of Mr Grey, reinforcing the imagery of innocence (although virgins can still suck cock and take it up the arse), but our readership won't have thought of that, only us sick degenerate, internet low-lifes would have ;)

What really annoys me though, is the eventual theme of how BDSM is portrayed as "damaging" or those who are aroused by it are "damaged", and just concentrate on sex, being jealous and overly-controlling. If anything it seems to subliminally change the mentality of the readership, letting them peek into a world they may have only giggled about BDSM at an all-girls party, but then confirms this world is not for "regular" people, especially in the last 2 chapters as the main character seems to be broken down after all the abuse she goes through - once again reinforcing the stereotypical view that men are pigs who want to fuck all day and night and BDSM is some sort of mental illness. The other 2 books in the series after this one have angered many in BDSM communities (such as Reddit) and even I, someone who dabbled in it, have to look at this book with soe annoyance, as the writer has taken the Twilight series, changed the characters and objectives, then somehow made it into a subliminal anti-BDSM novel that is making such a stir.

In short - I'll be sticking to things like this in the way of literature to get my rocks off. Good day, Sirs.

Comments

  • ThirdRockFromTheSunThirdRockFromTheSun <b style="color:blue;">Third<em style="color:pink;">Cock</em>FromThe<em style="color:brown;">Bum</em
    edited July 2012
    I never did understand this sudden explosion of "The Fifty Shades of Grey" and I never will. I don't understand it's appeal. What does this book actually CONTAIN to get such good numbers? Can someone actually quote from the book to show?
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited July 2012
    I have the PDF, but will upload some excerpts...standby to prepare yourself for despicable words, Gentlemen!

    halfway down p.82 to halfway down p.84
    Still kneeling, he grasps my foot and undoes my Converse, pulling off my shoe and sock. I raise myself up on my elbows to see what he’s doing. I’m panting… wanting. He lifts my foot by the heel and runs his thumbnail up my instep. It’s almost painful, but I feel the movement echoed in my groin. I gasp. Not taking his eyes off mine, again he runs his tongue along my instep and then his teeth. Shit. I groan… how can I feel this, there. I fall back on to the bed, moaning. I hear his soft chuckle.
    “Oh, Ana, what I could do to you,” he whispers. He removes my other shoe and sock, then stands and removes my jeans. I’m lying on his bed dressed only in my bra and panties, and he’s staring down at me.
    “You’re very beautiful, Anastasia Steele. I can’t wait to be inside you.”
    Holy shit. His words. He’s so seductive. He takes my breath away.
    “Show me how you pleasure yourself.”
    What? I frown.
    “Don’t be coy, Ana, show me,” he whispers.
    I shake my head.
    “I don’t know what you mean.” My voice is hoarse. I hardly recognize it, laced with desire.
    “How do you make yourself come? I want to see.”
    I shake my head.
    “I don’t,” I mumble. He raises his eyebrows, astonished for a moment, and his eyes darken, and he shakes his head in disbelief.
    “Well, we’ll have to see what we can do about that.” His voice is soft, challenging, a delicious sensual threat. He undoes the buttons of his jeans and slowly pulls his jeans down, his eyes on mine the whole time. He leans down over me and, grasping each of my ankles, quickly jerks my legs apart and crawls onto the bed between my legs. He hovers over me. I am squirming with need.
    “Keep still,” he murmurs, and then he leans down and kisses the inside of my thigh, trailing kisses up, over the thin lacy material of my panties, kissing me.
    Oh… I can’t keep still. How can I not move? I wriggle beneath him.
    “We’re going to have to work on keeping you still, baby.” He trails kisses up my belly, and his tongue dips into my navel. Still he’s heading north, kissing me across my torso. My skin is burning. I’m flushed, too hot, too cold, and I’m clawing at the sheet beneath me. He lay down beside me, and his hand trails up from my hip, to my waist, and up to my breast. He gazes down at me, his expression unreadable, and gently cups my breast.
    “You fit my hand perfectly, Anastasia,” he murmurs and dips his index finger into the cup of my bra and gently yanks it down freeing my breast, but the under wire and fabric of the cup force it upward. His finger moves to my other breast and repeats the process. My breasts swell, and my nipples harden under his steady gaze. I am trussed-up by my own bra.
    “Very nice,” he whispers appreciatively, and my nipples harden even more.
    He blows very gently on one as his hand moves to my other breast, and his thumb slowly rolls the end of my nipple, elongating it. I groan, feeling the sweet sensation all the way to my groin. I am so wet. Oh please, I beg internally as my fingers clasp the sheet tighter. His lips close around my other nipple and he tugs, I nearly convulse.
    “Let’s see if we can make you come like this,” he whispers, continuing his slow, sensual assault. My nipples bear the delicious brunt of his deft fingers and lips, setting alight every single nerve ending in my body so that my whole body sings with the sweet agony. He just doesn’t stop.
    “Oh… please,” I beg, and I pull my head back, my mouth open as I groan, my legs stiffening. Holy hell, what’s happening to me?
    “Let go, baby,” he murmurs. His teeth close round my nipple, and his thumb and finger pull hard, and I fall apart in his hands, my body convulsing and shattering into a thousand pieces. He kisses me, deeply, his tongue in my mouth absorbing my cries.
    Oh my. That was extraordinary. Now I know what all the fuss is about. He gazes down at me, a satisfied smile on his face, while I’m sure there’s nothing but gratitude and awe on mine.
    “You are very responsive,” he breathes. “You’re going to have to learn to control that, and it’s going to be so much fun teaching you how.” He kisses me again.
    My breathing is still ragged as I come down from my orgasm. His hand moves down my waist, to my hips, and then cups me, intimately... Jeez. His finger slips through the fine
    lace and slowly circles around me – there. Briefly he closes his eyes, and his breathing hitches.
    “You’re so deliciously wet. God, I want you.” He thrusts his finger inside me, and I cry out as he does it again and again. He palms my clitoris, and I cry out once more. He pushes inside me harder and harder still. I groan.
    Suddenly, he sits up and tugs my panties off and throws them on the floor. Pulling off his boxer briefs, his erection springs free. Holy cow… He reaches over to his bedside table and grabs a foil packet, and then he moves between my legs, spreading them further apart.

    p.201
    “I like the control it brings me, Anastasia. I want you to behave in a particular way, and if you don’t, I shall punish you, and you will learn to behave the way I desire. I enjoy punishing you. I’ve wanted to spank you since you asked me if I was gay.”
    I flush at the memory. Jeez, I wanted to spank myself after that question. So Katherine Kavanagh is responsible for all this, and if she’d gone to that interview and asked her gay question, she’d be sitting here with the sore ass. I don’t like that thought. How confusing is this?

    p.206 - where it gets into the whole "BDSM is some sort of mental illness" crap - this is an email exchange
    From: Anastasia Steele
    Subject: Assault and Battery: The after-effects
    Date: May 27 2011 08:05
    To: Christian Grey
    Dear Mr. Grey
    You wanted to know why I felt confused after you – which euphemism should we apply - spanked, punished, beat, assaulted me. Well during the whole alarming process I felt demeaned, debased and abused. And much to my mortification, you’re right, I was aroused, and that was unexpected. As you are well aware, all things sexual are new to me – I only wish I was more experienced and therefore more prepared. I was shocked to feel aroused.
    What really worried me was how I felt afterwards. And that’s more difficult to articulate. I was happy that you were happy. I felt relieved that it wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. And when I was lying in your arms, I felt – sated. But I feel very uncomfortable, guilty even, feeling that way. It doesn’t sit well with me, and I’m confused as a result. Does that answer your question?
    I hope the world of Mergers and Acquisitions is as stimulating as ever… and that you weren’t too late.
    Thank you for staying with me.
    Ana


    From: Christian Grey
    Subject: Free Your Mind
    Date: May 27 2011 08:24
    To: Anastasia Steele
    Interesting… if slightly overstated title heading Miss Steele.
    To answer your points:
    • I’ll go with spanking – as that’s what it was.
    • So you felt demeaned, debased, abused & assaulted – how very Tess Durbeyfield of you. I believe it was you who decided on the debasement if I remember correctly. Do you really feel like this or do you think you ought to feel like this? Two very different things. If that is how you feel, do you think you could just try and embrace these feelings, deal with them, for me? That’s what a submissive would do.
    • I am grateful for your inexperience. I value it, and I’m only beginning to understand what it means. Simply put… it means that you are mine in every way.
    • Yes, you were aroused, which in turn was very arousing, there’s nothing wrong with that.
    • Happy does not even begin to cover how I felt. Ecstatic joy comes close.
    • Punishment spanking hurts far more than sensual spanking – so that’s about as hard as it gets, unless of course you commit some major transgression, in which case I’ll use some implement to punish you with. My hand was very sore. But I like that.
    • I felt sated too - more so than you could ever know.
    • Don’t waste your energy on guilt, feelings of wrongdoing etc. We are consenting adults and what we do behind closed doors is between ourselves. You need to free your mind and listen to your body.
    • The world of M&A is not nearly as stimulating as you are Miss Steele.
    Christian Grey
    CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

    You get the picture. Everything else is just girly filler about fantasies, talking with her friends and questioning whether what she is doing is right - but does it anyway as she's a retarded female and the fact Mr Grey is called "Christian" makes me think of Christian Bale in American Psycho which this emoticon is basically a metaphor for the films' view on women :angry: plus they are idiots at times, let's be honest - FFFUUUUU-

    *ahem*
    :)
  • ThirdRockFromTheSunThirdRockFromTheSun <b style="color:blue;">Third<em style="color:pink;">Cock</em>FromThe<em style="color:brown;">Bum</em
    edited July 2012
    What the fuck?!

    How could you not read this and laugh? It's not even like "It's a SERIOUS erotica!" it just sound hilarious.
  • SlartibartfastSlartibartfast Global Moderator -__-
    edited July 2012
    I've heard of this book and have avoided it because, well it's just softcore porn.

    I'm willing to cut the author some slack, its pretty hard to describing sex without being repetitive.

    My senses are pretty well jaded by now, so yeah, I didn't get much from reading those passages.

    This book is successful for the same reason 'sex and the city' was successful. naive liberals.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited July 2012
    That video actually had me laughing out loud.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited July 2012
    I've heard of this book and have avoided it because, well it's just softcore porn.

    I'm willing to cut the author some slack, its pretty hard to describing sex without being repetitive.

    My senses are pretty well jaded by now, so yeah, I didn't get much from reading those passages.

    This book is successful for the same reason 'sex and the city' was successful. naive liberals.

    Correct on the softcore porn. Also correct on he Liberals, but I suppose I call them Middle Class Housewives who have a kinky streak to them, or Students who want to look cool/edgy among their peers.
    I decided to show my old housemate the PDF of the book and her current housemate (as they are living together after last year) said she was around chapter 15, so cue me skimming it and seeing just what she managed to endure, But totally agree with you on Sex and the City - who wants to read about awkward sex when the bullshitting box makes it seem so much better.

    And Beaver, I'm glad I have been of service :hai:
  • thomasthomas Semo-Regulars
    edited July 2012
    All women are kinky in my mind, all vile and disgusting creatures. That's why they want the bad boy, for the raunchy sex he's not afraid to deliver. Reading shit like this, however tacky it is. Allows women to open up to their natural desires socially with their friends. But it must be romantic, and quite tame. No Marquis De Sade quite yet, lest they be outcasted and labelled. Seen for the disgusting whores they rightfully are.

    I don't see any problem with the last paragraph in the OP. I don't think the majority of women who would read this would look that far into it, besides, most bitches WANT to be broken. That's not a bad thing to them. And they live for that controlling, jealousy drama bullshit. Yes that's not what a desirable dominant/submissive relationship is but there certainly is a lot of mind fucking going on in the ones I have partaken in.

    I see a book like this gaining traction as something quite beneficial. I'll take any mainstream outlet for BDSM sex perverting the minds of young women all over the world that I can get. Rather than the continuous and dreadful act of vanilla/consensual/missionary sex encouragement. Sure the book is not as fucked up as we'd like, but it's an introduction. A book shouldn't teach the bitch anything about this world of S&M anyways. It would give her submissive mind far too much power. It is the job of a dominant to teach his submissive how it is done. This simply gets the bitches panties moist, and her mind giddy for a world she's always wanted.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited July 2012
    thomas wrote: »
    All women are kinky in my mind, all vile and disgusting creatures. That's why they want the bad boy, for the raunchy sex he's not afraid to deliver. Reading shit like this, however tacky it is. Allows women to open up to their natural desires socially with their friends. But it must be romantic, and quite tame. No Marquis De Sade quite yet, lest they be outcasted and labelled. Seen for the disgusting whores they rightfully are.

    I like you :thumbsup:
  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited July 2012
    It started out as Twilight fan fiction which is why it seems like a rip off of Twilight. I read a little bit of it then couldn't stand to read anymore. The writing is atrocious.
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