What should I write on myself or a note and tape to me?

RemadERemadE Global Moderator
edited August 2012 in Spurious Generalities
Ok so as some of you guessed, I have to go in for surgery to remove a twisted bit of my gut.
Not gonna lie, I feel pretty crap about it and my Family are really pushing me, surrounding me on the phone as I have to make the decision, saying "I'm not free anytime after so this has to be it" - bullshit, but yes, the surgery is tomorrow. Already with blood tests I have had to have Army Doctors hold me down because I "look like I was going to assault" the female Nurse (lol).

Now, the real question, what should I either

a) write on my stomach in a sharpie (might get blurred if I sweat a lot and they may need to wipe it off for sterile reasons)
or
b) write on an A5 piece of card (like a flash card) and sellotape to my stomach?

I was seriously thinking about mentioning my suicidal tendencies if they fuck this up (I will get a call today depending on how confident they are about it going well).
Need some funny jokes, and a serious message.

"So now after the anaesthetic, just put some sodium thiopental in me"

If I do wake up, after having my life flash before me last night, I hope they give me diamorphine. Morphine doesn't do jack.

So, any ideas? Let's get the cynical &T brain juices flowing.

PS. I hope they have WiFi. If not then I will see you in about a week. Depends how fast I heal up. The thought of missing a part of my gut gives me the creeps.

Comments

  • edited July 2012
    "Morphine sucks, bring out the jenkem"

    But seriously, good luck with your surgery and junk. Expect a warm welcome when you return to Totseans afterwards!
  • SpinsterSpinster Regular
    edited July 2012
    Get some of that weird shit the Indians use. its kinda like a fake tattoo. it lasts a few days.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited July 2012
    Draw Totse in woad on your butt cheeks.
  • SpinsterSpinster Regular
    edited July 2012
    Or take some Viagra before the op, might clash with you other drugs, but it would be funny them operating on you with a raging erection the entire time :D
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited July 2012
    If he took Viagra he would not be able to roll over and show us his blue butt cheeks.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited July 2012
    That does seem a pretty funny idea, taking viagra. May fuck my heart up lol. Written a note putting my thoughts, honestly, into words. My Mum keeps saying "well if you don't do this, we can't go on holiday" (note - I am not going with them, they are leaving me when I get home from hospital). So yeah I'm pretty pissed about the entire thing. Plus they aren't even addressing the inflammation in my gut, only a small twist, so I'll still be in pain but they won't believe me.

    Here's what I'm taping to myself (personal info blacked out)
    Letter%201.jpg

    Letter%202.jpg

    and I shall be drawing &ToTSE in sharpie somewhere. Also might write "Stop looking at my cock" just below my trouser line.

    When I saw the thread title, too, I thought "heh, what retard can't even use grammar corre- oh...that's my thread"

    Checking in in just under 3 hours. Time to gulp down a weeks-worth of Valium. Also shaved my head and was pretty self-destructive last night. Hey, if they're gonna use gas, which they have to with me as I can't be put to sleep with a needle (as it reminds me of a lethal injection) then I may as well resemble a Holocaust victim.

    Yes, I aim to please today. I am also writing 3 guides so should have the time and peace in hospital (he says and hopes) to get them done.
    Love you all :hai:
  • edited July 2012
    Wow, you put a lot of thought into that compared to my suggestion about jenkem :facepalm: Hopefully they'll administer some stronger painkillers, and understand your note :thumbsup: Stop looking at my cock would be hilarious, that cracked me up :D
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited July 2012
    After reading that,all the nurses would love to fuck you. I wonder if you can dry a flying Camel or something. Hell, drawing Mickey Mouse or some bottles on your ass or just a marker near your anus saying Insert Here would be awesome. In any case, my prayers are with you. We're here for you bro.
  • ArkansanArkansan Regular
    edited July 2012
    Best of luck in your surgery brother, also stop looking at my cock would be fucking hilarious.
  • edited July 2012
    Arkansan wrote: »
    Best of luck in your surgery brother, also stop looking at my cock would be fucking hilarious.

    Provided there are pictures for proof. No homo, you don't need to involve cock... Unless you write it ON your cock, which would be even more hilarious. They wouldn't be able to stop looking at it.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited July 2012
    Well thanks to the faggot powers that be, the idiot woman I saw the other day "forgot" to phone me and tell me they had cancelled my surgery.
    I was there, pumped up and had no idea I wasn't even on the list for surgery.
    Bunch'a pricks. I now have to wait until next Thursday at 06:30, when my operation has been moved to. Can't even begin to tell you how pissed off I am. Even my Mum walked out on this bint to avoid smacking her.
  • ThirdRockFromTheSunThirdRockFromTheSun <b style="color:blue;">Third<em style="color:pink;">Cock</em>FromThe<em style="color:brown;">Bum</em
    edited July 2012
    Good luck, Remade.

    I hate to be a massive downer... but if something was to happen... how would we know? You just... never come back?
  • edited July 2012
    If I was to die or something, I wouldn't have anyone post for me. No one else knows my password, it's encrypted in my KeePass database. So if I ever stop posting, assume the worst :D
  • SlartibartfastSlartibartfast Global Moderator -__-
    edited July 2012
    BTW, you'll likely be conscious when they remove your top garmets.
  • edited July 2012
    BTW, you'll likely be conscious when they remove your top garmets.

    That's a good point, imagine how awkward it would be to have them remove your tshirt while conscious and have you explain your note there and then. Although this IS RemadE, he'd most likely have no problems spelling it out to the doctors anyway :D
  • DaktologistDaktologist Global Moderator
    edited July 2012
    trx100 wrote: »
    So if I ever stop posting, assume the worst :D

    This. I won't stop posting without giving you guys warning first, unless I end up in dead or in prison for some reason. Probably due to night opping or something.
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited July 2012
    If I ever stop posting, assume I got laid.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited July 2012
    Good point actually. I suppose my Parents would login or text a totsean on my phone who would post it somewhere (I have a few mates from the old &T who lurk on Zoklet sometimes) so the news would eventually come full circle.
    As for Dfg, when you go to University, I will assume you are dead within freshers week - and hey, even if you do die, you'll have 72 virgins.

    Win/win in my books!
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited July 2012
    RemadE wrote: »
    - and hey, even if you do die, you'll have 72 virgins.

    Win/win in my books!

    72virgins.jpeg
  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited July 2012
    RemadE wrote: »
    Well thanks to the faggot powers that be, the idiot woman I saw the other day "forgot" to phone me and tell me they had cancelled my surgery.
    I was there, pumped up and had no idea I wasn't even on the list for surgery.
    Bunch'a pricks. I now have to wait until next Thursday at 06:30, when my operation has been moved to. Can't even begin to tell you how pissed off I am. Even my Mum walked out on this bint to avoid smacking her.

    That sucks. :( Good luck.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited July 2012
    Very good point there, Rodent. Some interpretations even said they were grapes, not virgins. And plus, virgins are awkward as hell in bed.

    And yeah ShadyTroll, it sucked big time. I can't wait for Thursday to roll around, seriously. I have some mates sending me some of their finest weed and hash, and I'll be doped up on dilaudid or diamorphine on my laptop after an hour of surgery. Just a shame this "human error" occurred. If that woman is anything like this outside of work, her new marriage she kept going on about aint going anywhere - that's for sure.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited August 2012
    Right lads. An hour to go. The surgery is early as hell, (06:30) and I've not even been able to drink water since midnight :angry:

    Will update you as soon as I can (phone signal is shit there) or if I can get WiFi for my laptop, not a pay-computer thing so some MAC cloning may have to happen.

    Fucking love you guys. I'm a lot more nervous this time as I got a letter yesterday of all days, saying there are further complications in my gut...in the area they wish to operate on. So yeah, great.
    Also anyone remember Tordek Battlehamer? He is coming to visit next week and will bring some nice green, smokables with him ;)

    Gonna miss you guys if there's no or paid WiFi on the ward.
    Time to gulp some Valium and morphine and get 40 winks. Shitting it.
  • bornkillerbornkiller Administrator In your girlfriends snatch
    edited August 2012
    Catch you up in a couple of days RemadE. You'll come out of it ok bro. You're a MF totsean. ;)
  • ThirdRockFromTheSunThirdRockFromTheSun <b style="color:blue;">Third<em style="color:pink;">Cock</em>FromThe<em style="color:brown;">Bum</em
    edited August 2012
    See you soon, Remade. You'll come out stronger than ever.
  • GoingNowhereGoingNowhere Global Moderator
    edited August 2012
    See you soon brother, you'll be fine I know it :D
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited August 2012
    Be strong brother, WE LOVE YOU FOR REAL!
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