An insight into what is an "Alpha Widow," and why does it matter? — Totseans

An insight into what is an "Alpha Widow," and why does it matter?


The idea of an "alpha widow" is something that pops up occasionally here on TRP, and I think it deserves some attention and consideration. The concept is actually very central to why we criticize the CC and why it's harmful for women's long-term mating strategy.

So, for the sake of this conversation let's arrange SMV in percentile. 90th percentile is top 10%. The typical Western girl in her 20's isn't looking to settle down, she's looking to have fun. Let's make a hypothetical girl: we'll call her Jane. Let's say Jane is a fairly okay but still very average girl, we'll put her at 60th percentile at the age of 22. Jane likes to sleep with guys who are 80th+ percentile. These guys don't mind stooping downwards because guys love sex and for him, she's just another plate to spin who didn't take that much effort.

Once, she even was the plate for a guy who was 95th percentile. A real top dog. She didn't even make this guy wear a condom. He's handsome, in shape, wealthy, has a nice apartment and an expensive car, and a fat dick. He's sleeping with a lot of other girls at the same time. She doesn't care, because girls would rather be one of many in the harem of an alpha, than the one and only of some disgusting creepy beta. He fucks her a few weeks than he moves on.

This guy is now her high water mark for the kind of guy that she thinks he can get. But her fatal flaw is in assuming that she could ever get such a guy to commit to her. This kind of guy will fuck her, but that's it. Why would a 95th percentile guy commit to a girl like that? Are you fucking kidding me? Not a chance in hell he would do that. But yeah, he'll dump her load in her every now and then, no question of that.

Fast forward 10 years. Now she's 32. She's gotten fatter, started to get wrinkles, she's less fun and cheerful than she was in her 20's, and generally less attractive. Let's now say she dropped in value to a man: now let's say she's 40th percentile. However, in HER mind, she's increased in value: She now has a master's degree in women's studies and a 32k a year job working in HR and two cats - this is a woman on top of her game! She now decides it's time to settle down because that biological clock is ticking.

But she finds that any of the type of men that she wants won't commit to her. She's used to banging 80+ percentile guys (remember that one who was 95?) and therefore imagines that this is the type that should marry/commit to her. But the reality is now that she's looking at guys who are double her SMV. Men who are equal to her SMV, she sneers at because they're "creepy" and "gross." She could do better. She knows it! She's just awesome, obviously. Every man, all her friends, her parents, media, music, and everyone else in society has been telling her since she was a toddler that she's awesome and great and perfect. Obviously it must be true. And that's why she "dated" so many hot guys in her 20's.

But nevertheless nobody will commit to her. Why are men such jerks?! Where have all the good men gone?! The world has wronged her. She's a victim. She's owed something that she isn't getting, and it's men's fault, because they're the ones not giving it to her.

Now she's 35 and realizes she has almost no time left to have kids. She marries a guy who is equal to her SMV. Another 40th percentile. He's not a bad guy, and there's nothing specifically offensive about him, but he isn't in shape, handsome, interesting, smart, or wealthy. Never mind the fact that she herself is not in shape, handsome interesting, smart, or wealthy either - but that doesn't stop her from secretly resented his mediocrity. She silenced this resentment until the kids were pumped out. But in her mind, this guy isn't her equal - this guy is 40 percent lower in SMV than the men she used to fuck. This guy is a fucking loser.

Till one day he leaves the toilet seat up after he came home exhausted from working a 14 hour day to pay for their children and she decides that she's had enough of his abusiveness, that she deserves better. Cue divorce and cash prizes.

Now she's 40 and hanging out in bars buying long island iced teas with her kids child support money, hitting on men twice her SMV, while her kids tuck themselves in on friday night and can never hope to see daddy again.

TLDR? This is what we mean when we talk about the consequences of unchecked hypergamy. Women fucking around with high SMV players end up with fucked up proprieties and a distorted sense of their own worth, and are no longer LTR material as a result. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the alpha widow.


  • edited July 2016
    Great article! Psychology interests me greatly; but my investigative time is spent on other faculties at this point in time. So when i read something like this.. it takes me back to my studies at uni.

    Imagine trying to draw this up as a sociology experiment and submitting it too Uni - Especially should your lecturers be female! would raise some eyebrows.

    I think there are also other major physiological factor at play; women will always try to date upwards for security, social status and self-worth among the rest of reasons. This leads to a constant state of rejection, leading firstly to a internal rejection of 'Men' and Masculinity and secondly a loss of self-worth.

    Women then feel the need to find a partner they feel equal or superior too reinvigorating their women-hood they dust of the spider webs and jump into a relationship but find out not quick enough they require the masculinity of a dominant male, not some sub-par beta mindset who spent time in the gym on steroids. (Don't fool yourself mate)

    Rather than an idle male who as stated; doesn't do anything particularly bad, but doesn't do anything particularly spectacular either. Could this also be a reason as to why BDSM is growing in popularity among women world wide or maybe that is just Disney! As women look for new ways to express their sexuality and men looking for women who will submit to them for countless one night stands (Shag Tag Release).

  • So, there is some glaring flaws in this hypothesis. First, the outlook that you are putting forth for women's bonding strategies is absolutely male generated. In the old times, a woman was dependent on seeking a male with high access to group resources. Women are capapable of and do support themselves these days. This absolutely changes the motives behind bonding strategies.
    Second, psychology is based upon motivation of behavior. The identity is formed through a conditioning process, and is totally bound to the individual environment it was created in. But even further than that, a person has the ability to realize that they are not their identity. The self, as the ego, is completely illusory. It's not even there usually for more than twenty hours a day, as when we sleep, the unconscious is in charge. The ego is absolutely false, it doesn't exist, and will constantly create a narrative in your head to try to make the world around you fit into a story that makes sense, it is occurring to you right now. This is not the "true self". Many people have first realized they are not their bodies. What is the difference between a dead body, and an alive one? The presence of consciousness. In order for anything to be alive, it must have conciousness. That conciousness is not material, it is not your body. That's why there is such a thing as an out of body experience, remote viewing, and so on. What are the philosophical implications of this? If you are judging someone by their skin, you have made a serious mistake in logic. The body is only matter that is surrounding conciousness, it's inanimate as soon as that conciousness completely leaves it. Dead matter. The next realization is that you are not your identity. This is not what we are. So many women that have realized this have a completely different motivation in finding the mate that fits them. They are not necessarily concerned with materialism. They are not necessarily shallow. We all have the abilty to realize these truths, if you are reading these words, you have that ability also.
Sign In or Register to comment.