How do you know if you're in love or just infatuated?

BodilYFluidSBodilYFluidS Regular
edited July 2010 in Life
I keep thinking about this girl. I've had crushes of course, but this has gone on for entirely too long and too often. I'm going to ask her out soon.

In the meantime how do you tell if you're in love with someone or just infatuated with them? She isn't the finest finest girl I've ever dated, but she still looks really good, the thing is I'm not even concerned with her looks anymore! Obviously that's how she caught my attention in the first place, but now I realize that's just the tip of the ice berg with this girl...

I'm gonna go ahead and shut up now.

Comments

  • trippytrippy Acolyte
    edited June 2010
    i dont know how you could possibly love someone that your not even with. have you been friends for an extended period of time? how often do you spend time with her and how long have you known her? I believe your describing infatuation
  • BodilYFluidSBodilYFluidS Regular
    edited June 2010
    see that's exactly what i was thinking, then a friend of mine told me about love at first sight and she described a lot of what i feel. hell i've heard about it my whole life from my grandparents, but i never really believed it. now i kinda do cause this is getting ridiculous. obviously i'm not going to come on really strong and just come out and confess it...

    there's only one way to find out, so i'm going to ask her out and see how it goes.
  • DrakeDrake Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    “Love at first sight” is bullshit. Your life isn't a perfect fairytale. If you try to start a relationship with unrealistic expectations like that, you will either ruin it by putting too much pressure on the girl or you will blind yourself to reality. If you choose to delude yourself, you can only hope that she isn't the kind of person that will take advantage of you or you might end up in an abusive relationship.
  • BodilYFluidSBodilYFluidS Regular
    edited July 2010
    i'm not the sappy type, therefore i'm not going into this with any delusions.

    i've figured out what it is anyways... and yes i still feel the same about her, if not more so now that i truely understand.
  • ateate Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    Seize the moment! That's how.
  • BodilYFluidSBodilYFluidS Regular
    edited July 2010
    ate wrote: »
    Seize the moment! That's how.

    :)

    random text so i can post the smiley above
  • NightsideNightside Regular
    edited July 2010
    I'd say infatuation occurs with first sight...

    Love would come from their character. If you fall in love with their outer beauty (only), that won't last.
  • HippieTrippieHippieTrippie Regular
    edited July 2010
    Beforehand, this post is in all seriousness:

    Have you EVER masturbated to pictures or the thought of her? If so, thats infatuation.

    Do you eat much less, can't stop thinking about her, think she is the best looking girl you have seen whether or not she is the prettiest? Do you feel sad because you're not with her? And if it doesn't work out, if you still feel affection and care for her after its all done, then it (was) is love.
  • RolfRolf Regular
    edited July 2010
    Rolf has a suggestion, though the suggestion of Rolf will take time. Rolf suggests that thou should move in with said love interest, marry said love interest, have children with said love interest and after a decade or so, thou shalt know.

    If thou loves not said interest, then Rolf suggests the brilliant Finnish creation, known as "Molotov" in combination with the brilliant Rolfish creation, known as "Everything".
  • Agent 008Agent 008 Regular
    edited July 2010
    Here is a rule I have come up with for myself, that has helped me to avoid problems that I used to have in the past:

    Date first, fall in love later. NOT the other way round.
  • GreenbullGreenbull Regular
    edited July 2010
    Loving someone and being suitable [life] partners is not the same thing.

    You can just say you like her.
  • Agent 008Agent 008 Regular
    edited July 2010
    Greenbull wrote: »
    Loving someone and being suitable [life] partners is not the same thing.

    You can just say you like her.

    Love dies after the honeymoon period anyway. It's the "Coolidge effect". What's left afterwards is different, it's more of a partnership. "The thrill is gone", so to speak.

    Read this: http://www.reuniting.info/science/coolidge_effect
    And this: http://www.reuniting.info/science/coolidge_effect_2009
  • weathersweathers Regular
    edited July 2010
    Everyone's infatuated at the start, that's why we hook up in the first place. What's left after the infatuation dictates whether or not you're in love.

    So hit that shit.
  • edited July 2010
    weathers wrote: »
    Everyone's infatuated at the start, that's why we hook up in the first place. What's left after the infatuation dictates whether or not you're in love.

    So hit that shit.

    I agree completely. The initial spark recently left my relationship, and what's left is a feeling that I could happily stay with this girl for as long as time can tell and never get bored, haha.

    So yeah, hit that shit as much as you can.
  • edited July 2010
    Rolf wrote: »
    Rolf has a suggestion, though the suggestion of Rolf will take time. Rolf suggests that thou should move in with said love interest, marry said love interest, have children with said love interest and after a decade or so, thou shalt know.
    trippy wrote: »
    i dont know how you could possibly love someone that your not even with. have you been friends for an extended period of time? how often do you spend time with her and how long have you known her? I believe your describing infatuation

    This and this. It sounds like OP is more in love with his idea of her more than actual experience. How well do you know this girl?
  • BodilYFluidSBodilYFluidS Regular
    edited July 2010
    yall will think i'm stupid if i tell you how i know her. just know that after reading everything and listening to myself i feel certain i'm not just infatuated with her however i don't feel exactly like i did before either.

    i made her favorite snack for her and because i can't think straight around her i forgot to ask her out then lol. so i emailed her (we email a lot) about me taking her out sometime and now i'm waiting on what she says.

    this is really getting retarded, i've never emailed a girl asking her out before or forgot what i was going to say when the time came before for that matter. i feel like everything i learned from slaying hoes has gone out the window.
  • weathersweathers Regular
    edited July 2010
    She'll never respect you now you've made her food and emasculated yourself :(
  • BodilYFluidSBodilYFluidS Regular
    edited July 2010
    stfu you obviously don't know shit about girls
  • weathersweathers Regular
    edited July 2010
    Don't shoot the messenger, I hope you get married and have lots of babies. The only problem is now she's going to be fucking you in the ass, putting lipstick on you and send you to get the groceries with five bucks extra to buy yourself some tampons. I wish it hadn't come to this.
  • BodilYFluidSBodilYFluidS Regular
    edited July 2010
    lol i was only kidding, but you truly are clueless huh? go talk to your mom about girls and how to make them happy. forget what your dad told you because it obviously hasn't worked out for you like it did for him.
  • weathersweathers Regular
    edited July 2010
    It's ok brah, I'm here for you. Let it out. I'll be your rock.
  • BodilYFluidSBodilYFluidS Regular
    edited July 2010
    hahaha you crack me up
  • BodilYFluidSBodilYFluidS Regular
    edited July 2010
    btw you from the south?
  • MarijuanasaurusMarijuanasaurus Regular
    edited July 2010
    when you are in love she swallows and lets you jizz on her boobs. Thats love.
  • BodilYFluidSBodilYFluidS Regular
    edited July 2010
    yeah..... but i'm not the girl here lol. thanks for that tid bit though, very informative for all the kids stopping by.

    cool name btw
  • MarijuanasaurusMarijuanasaurus Regular
    edited July 2010
    What Im saying is when both of you are in love, that is what happens. Anything else is just infatuation.
  • BodilYFluidSBodilYFluidS Regular
    edited July 2010
    lol i'm not sure that's entirely accurate. i'm definitely not in love with the girls who've done that for me.
  • MarijuanasaurusMarijuanasaurus Regular
    edited July 2010
    Oh I think you need to rethink every relationship youve been in.
  • skyclaw441skyclaw441 Regular
    edited July 2010
    I've never really been assed to tell, I just wait until it's over.
  • BodilYFluidSBodilYFluidS Regular
    edited July 2010
    maybe you're right marijuanasaurus lol
  • MarijuanasaurusMarijuanasaurus Regular
    edited July 2010
    Glad to be of help
  • edited July 2010
    Give her some bodily fluids.
  • BodilYFluidSBodilYFluidS Regular
    edited July 2010
    that's the plan alright
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    Infatuation is what you feel at the beginning. Love is what you feel after a year or two. Supposedly love has 3 stages: initial infatuation, conflict, stable love.
  • Agent 008Agent 008 Regular
    edited July 2010
    fanglekai wrote: »
    Infatuation is what you feel at the beginning. Love is what you feel after a year or two. Supposedly love has 3 stages: initial infatuation, conflict, stable love.

    Yeah... Too bad stability = death.

    Life = instability.
  • BitterConflictBitterConflict Regular
    edited July 2010
    Love= The person loving you back.
    Infatuation= The person doesn't love you back. They seek you for self-interest.

    If this is vague.

    Then

    Infatuation= Immaturity, superficial, and pleasing oneself to what they desire (and not having consent of their partner to do what they really want.)
    Love= Partnership, Trust, Ups&Downs, Trials&Tribulations
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