The butterfly effect. What would've happened if I lost my virginity last year?
Just came across this post on Zoklet from last year, and the memories started flooding back. The smells, the emotions, etc...
Man. For those who don't know, I later found out she actually fucking loved me, and that guy she was talking about was just a "test" or something. You know the crap women do.
So I'm wondering... If I had went to her house that night, and we had sex... What would my life be like today?
Hurts to think how much it could've changed...
I feel like shit.
I woke up early today. I spent all morning, right into the early afternoon, preparing for a date. I knew she was a slut, but I thought she really liked me. I was warned not to have feelings for her but I couldn't help it. Since when has a girl truly liked me before (in real life)? Well, you know... a hot girl, not a fat chick or Asian. (Lol, I probably lost all sympathy from the people reading this with that last sentence...)
I bought new clothes, and shaved twice. I washed myself like someone with OCD. I bought a new deodorant and made myself look handsome. (It turns out I am actually attractive - I showed my pic to some people on here, and people from my old high school told me I look much much better than I did back then (in person). I guess it was because I used to have acne, etc - a number of major things that are fixed now)
So that's why I assumed this girl liked me, and why girls have been flirting with me recently. I was so excited for the date with this girl I met at the mall... And then... she texted me.
She texted me about fifteen minutes ago.
"hey wat time u comin? ill be there in an hour and a half mayb.. with a guy rite now. hotty :P"
.............................
My heart sank. She didn't care for me. I realized then that I didn't care about just "getting laid" with random sluts. I want a girl who actually has some self respect, and likes me just enough to at least have somewhat meaningful sex with just me within a 24 hour period (lol).
I could have responded with "I'll be there" and gotten laid tonight (she actually told me she wanted to fuck, so it was a definite). But I responded with...
"Fuck, last night I remembered I have dinner tonight with Alysia. Forgot to ring you!lol Bye."
She hasn't replied yet... She probably doesn't care. I'm just another boy to add to her list.
I feel kind of better typing this all up now. Anyway, so what, I didn't get laid. Maybe I've grown... I have self respect now. She was hot on the outside but a fucking crow on the inside. I actually understand why people say it's what's on the inside that counts now. Ha, that might sound stupid to people, but I always thought that was just what ugly people said to make themselves feel better.
Hot sluts suck.
I feel pretty stupid... for caring so much. And I feel pretty stupid for thinking I would actually lose my virginity... At least... I have the benefit or knowing I turned her down, and not the other way around. But still... it seems as though I'll never get anyone.
For some reason I actually feel like crying, but I won't. Fuck it. .....
I don't know why I typed this. I'll just be made fun of, but I guess some people here wanted to hear the next bit of my "sex" life, from that thread I made. I also felt a bit better typing this out. As I typed what happened, I realized things, etc. I'll re-edit this and add it to my journal (lol, that sounds so Greyfox/homo).
Man. For those who don't know, I later found out she actually fucking loved me, and that guy she was talking about was just a "test" or something. You know the crap women do.
So I'm wondering... If I had went to her house that night, and we had sex... What would my life be like today?
Hurts to think how much it could've changed...
Comments
Did she tell you that?
Well said.
OP, have you been laid since then?
Any girl that texts/types like that would automatically become just a fuck to me. I couldn't deal with that shit in a relationship.
"I luv u lol
<Blunderful> I'm a virgin.
Yeah she did.
'Moving on' is just another way of saying 'giving up.'
He does need to give up on this one and find another one.:(
It isn't giving up. It's saving yourself the trouble of obsessing over some cunt that says she loves you but showed absolutely no initiative, and hung out with some "hotty" before going to a date with the person that she "loves" and going as far as to tell the person she "loves" that she's hanging out with a "hotty" before their fucking date. Yeah, a real winner there, and definitely worth your time.
Edit: Why are girls such sluts?
Fanglekai is right, some great girl could be right in front of your face and you wouldn't even notice if you're too hung up over some other girl. Dwelling on the past will only hurt you more and more. The sooner you get over her the better. I used to dwell over botched relationships and possible ones and it took me too long to learn this lesson.
It was a few months after I psoted that. When she told me I rejected her and said she was a stupid bitch etc. I know it sounds like I'm lying, coz nobody would ever do that (on totse) but I'm serious. I was drunk btw. Lol.
She never talked to me again. It felt good to reject her. She's the girl I'm talking about in my blog.
Which reminds me, I haven't seen your blog yet.
Anyone got a link?
Then you will be like "wtf was I thinking before."
Just hire a hooker or something and get it out of the way man.