70 year old just tried to fuck me.

edited August 2010 in Life
So, I'm chilling at this bar, right?, and I get to talking to this REALLY old guy, and he walks me home and shit, nd then he starts like, coming on to me (I'm gay, and everything), So, I told him I really wasn't comfortable fucking someone 50 years older than me, and I eventually got him to go away.
I'm really conflicted about this, though...like, 70 years of experience...he'd probably be EPIC in the sac...I dunno, what d'ya think?

Comments

  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    Two words: wrinkly balls.
  • edited July 2010
    I know...But I'm really drunk...and I don't really care...but I know I WOULD, under other circumstances...
  • CloudcatCloudcat Regular
    edited July 2010
    I dunno man. I just don't know.....
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    Wrinkly, saggy balls. Bad.
  • Totse BotTotse Bot Banned
    edited July 2010
    "lol i met a guy at a bar and he walked me home and he expected SOMETHING MORE?!?!?! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • KamuyKamuy Acolyte
    edited July 2010
    I know...But I'm really drunk...and I don't really care...but I know I WOULD, under other circumstances...

    When you having this lemonparty bro?
  • iSoapeiSoape Regular
    edited July 2010
    1 chompchompchomsky 2 old dudes with wrinkly hairy man balls probably covered in tumors.

    This has meme potential.
  • SilosighbinSilosighbin Regular
    edited July 2010
    Just think of the gummy BJ you could of got after taking his dentures out.





    No homo.
  • edited July 2010
    No homo.

    That's an observation of a useless tradition for you, brah. Seriously, picture with &T and username would make this thread gold or platinum.
  • SilosighbinSilosighbin Regular
    edited July 2010
    That's an observation of a useless tradition for you, brah. Seriously, picture with &T and username would make this thread gold or platinum.



    Huh? No comprendo




    Are you asking for a picture of me receiving a blowjob from a 70 year old man?
  • edited July 2010
    do it only if he lets you make a shawl out of his loose skin that you can wear on your head.
  • edited July 2010
    Huh? No comprendo




    Are you asking for a picture of me receiving a blowjob from a 70 year old man?


    Sorry about that. The idea of 70 year gumming bj is a total turn off and is, by default, homo.

    Second sentence was requesting pictures from OP but I jumbled them up. Sorry for the fuck up, brah.
  • MaddoMaddo New Arrival
    edited July 2010
    I had a brief stint selling pay tv door to door. I got a sale with this bloke who had just gotten out of some surgery and was layed up in bed for the next 3-4 months. He invites me in and says don't mind the neighbours, they're around having a drink.

    The neighbours are two 50-60 year old women, fake teeth, probably have cancer they look so frail, wearing what look like potato sacks for dresses, and sucking down goon by the bag full.

    Needless to say, when two women that havn't gotten laid in 20 years are drunk and in front of a 18 year old in a suit (i look pretty dang sharp in a suit), shit was fucking disgusting.

    They were trying to impress me by taking out their teeth and saying what a good blow they'd give me. I got the guy signed up (longest 20 minutes of my life) and fucking BAILED.


    TL;DR: Sex with the elderly. Forget about it.
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited July 2010
    Look on the bright side. Once he takes off his dentures, there's no chance he'll accidentally or purposefully bite your dick off.
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited July 2010
    Mayberry wrote: »
    Look on the bright side. Once he takes off his dentures, there's no chance he'll accidentally or purposefully bite your dick off.

    QFT This bitch was giving me head and bit me twice. TWICE! I kept telling her "hey watch your teeth... hey that hurt mind your teeth damnit" she actually asked me "Do you have red cum?"
  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited July 2010
    So, I'm chilling at this bar, right?, and I get to talking to this REALLY old guy, and he walks me home and shit, nd then he starts like, coming on to me (I'm gay, and everything), So, I told him I really wasn't comfortable fucking someone 50 years older than me, and I eventually got him to go away.
    I'm really conflicted about this, though...like, 70 years of experience...he'd probably be EPIC in the sac...I dunno, what d'ya think?

    faggot.....:o
  • edited July 2010
    "You climb obstacles like old people fuck, you know that Pvt. Pyle? :mad:"
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    faggot.....:o

    He admitted he's gay. There's no use calling him a faggot after that. :o:o:o
  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited July 2010
    fanglekai wrote: »
    He admitted he's gay. There's no use calling him a faggot after that. :o:o:o

    your right It was wrong.

























    chompchompchomsky your a queer:o:o:o
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited July 2010
    your right It was wrong.

    chompchompchomsky your a queer:o:o:o

    You're***
  • TruthWielderTruthWielder Regular
    edited August 2010
    Well...I guess thats better than a blind 45 year old trying to fuck you.

    When you're not gay...:mad:

    I dunno man. If you were into it go for it. Make for a good story and, I suppose, a good lesson.
  • edited August 2010
    old wrinkly balls are not worth epic sex.

    ^ true 'nuff.
  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited August 2010
    Your deviant lifestyle is unacceptable. But I think you can be cured.
  • edited August 2010
    Your deviant lifestyle is unacceptable. But I think you can be cured.

    Show me the way, oh wise one.:rolleyes:
  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited August 2010
    First accept that homosexuality is a choice. The first step is admitting its a deviant lifestyle and wanting to change. I can help fix people like yourself of this mental illness.
  • edited August 2010
    Oh thank goodness! All right, oh leader, I have integrated your first stricture into my being. What is the next step?
  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited August 2010
    When your ready to take this seriously and want to change I can help you. Its been proven that change is possible and theres plenty of success storys. Its not easy bur like mental illness you can overcome this. Itsa learned behaviour and it can be unlearned

    http://www.conservapedia.com/Homosexuality_and_choice
    http://www.narth.com/docs/byrd.html

    Read that.
  • edited August 2010
    I am truly amazed at the reliability, clarity, and obvious sense of your provided literature. In fact, I would encourage more totseans to read these two reasonable, well-thought-out, and progressive articles about this subject.
    Such clear, grammatically sensible statements as:

    " Those who make this choice suffer significantly higher rates of domestic violence in homosexual couples."

    Also the sheer breadth of the studies conducted, including as many educated individuals as possible:

    "A 2003 poll done by Ellison Research of Phoenix, Arizona stated that 82% of all American Protestant ministers agreed with the statement “homosexuality is a choice people make" "

    Also the amazing knack at following a thesis statement with evidence, and continuing on one sensible idea, encapsulated here:
    "Whereas alcohol addiction is generally regarded as a disease and/or a moral failing, homosexuality in recent decades has come to be seen as normal. It is clear to the vast majority of people that overindulging in alcohol hurts the individual as well as society. For example, drunk driving contributes to auto accidents by increasing reaction time and reducing alertness. Alcoholism is closely related to absenteeism and domestic violence. But a political decision was made in the mid-1970s to drop homosexuality from the official list of mental disorders. In fact, the chief "scientific" reason given to deny a link between homosexuality and choice is that major American mental health organizations deny the link. In other words, scientists have voted on it, and they disapprove."

    I am also glad at the perceptive, and relevant mention of the Homosexual Agenda- A scheme which was imparted in my brain genetically the moment I first felt an attraction to the same sex, obviously I have been to the meetings on The Island, so as to better poison the minds of American children, but even before I visited the Island, I was very much aware of the Homosexual Agenda.

    And then there is the second source, from which I think only one quote is needed to truly encapsulate its excellence:
    "Although I do not have extensive training in the psychoanalytic model of treatment, I do find the reparative, psychoanalytical approach to be helpful theoretically and conceptually."
  • woodwood Regular
    edited August 2010
    This is some comprehensive evidence. I renounce not only any homosexual thoughts and actions I have had or will have, but the heterosexual ones too.
  • ImaginariumImaginarium Regular
    edited August 2010
    ^^pwnage
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited August 2010
    Maybe you should have just gone for some dome (head).
  • edited August 2010
    but...wrinkly balls....
  • Big baby jesusBig baby jesus Regular
    edited August 2010
    Whoa bro, I read that shit. No homo :eek:

    same thing happened to me once with this 43 year old couger tho ahaha liiike, it got to the point where I was so actively showing disinterest that the old cunt goes, "you're not gettin' lucky tonight!" and I was way to slow to think of saying "well actually...I'm just avoiding syphillis" or something. My cousin's a dick, I donno why he thought we should hang out with the fucking oldest ladies there. Dang namit. What a loser.
  • edited August 2010
    ^I know, right?!?!?
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