The pefect murder thread.

KatzenklavierKatzenklavier Regular
edited October 2010 in Man Cave
In this thread we will discuss the perfect murders. If it attracts enough attention I will reveal *the perfect murder.

NO, I DO NOT PLAN ON MURDERING SOMEONE. :mad:

Comments

  • jamie madroxjamie madrox Sith Lord
    edited August 2010
    *Subscribes*
  • Brock SamsonBrock Samson Regular
    edited August 2010
    Shoot, shovel, shut up.


    Should work..
  • CloudcatCloudcat Regular
    edited August 2010
    Depends on who you want to kill.

    Getting away with murdering someone who does not know you and who you are not related to in any way is relatively easy.

    Why do you think serial killers usually take so long to get caught?
  • stresstres Regular
    edited August 2010
    No intent or association with victim + Alibi should work unless you bust a nut at the crime scene :confused:
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited August 2010
    I take a perfect murder as one where you will never get caught. The murder can be discovered as long as the perpetrator has 0% chance of being caught.

    As we all know, the key to not getting caught is leaving absolutely no evidence. Easier said than done.

    This is a hypothetical list off the top of my head and by no means a comprehensive list, and most of it is common sense:

    Basic wear from head to toe:

    - shower cap; wear a hat or balaclava if you want style points
    - face should be clean shaven, and rub off excess skin
    - non-fibrous clothing; tie off hand, head, waist holes so nothing gets in or out
    - surgical gloves AND leather gloves
    - comfortable socks that go above the ankle
    - comfortable pair of generic shoes

    Preparation:

    - plan everything out beforehand, leave room for mistakes
    - know EVERYTHING about the victim
    - have an alibi
    - tell nobody
    - do NOT freak out

    Method:

    - whatever you're most proficient with; if using a weapon, make sure it can't be traced back to you
    - a simple but lethal poison is always a good option; no exotic designer poisons
    - again, no exotic/unusual methods

    Scene:

    - leave nothing, not even a signature
    - you won't have to clean up if you followed the above steps AND if there wasn't a struggle
    - if there was a struggle, follow standard cleaning procedures (not familiar with this, so up to you)

    Aftermath:

    - assuming you planned well, you should be able to make a clean exit
    - dismantle and burn/destroy EVERYTHING on your person and that you used somewhere away from your own home
    - NEVER commit a murder again; if you must, do not do ANYTHING the same

    Obligatory Disclamer: This post for educational purposes only, it is purely hypothetical, and I take no responsibility for any misuse of this information.

    Additions/Criticism? I am also interested in the OP's perfect murder.
  • Big baby jesusBig baby jesus Regular
    edited August 2010
    Just shoot em in a public place from a car with tinted windows. No body ever caught Biggie OR Tupac's killer.
  • edited August 2010
    1. buy a pack of cigarettes
    2. put it in just enough water so that the pack is submerged, then wait a while
    3. take pack out
    4. put water into a needle.
    A pack of cigarettes has enough nicotine to kill someone if taken all at once. You have just created a needle filled with that amount of nicotine, and with the number of smokers walking around its completely untraceable back to you. Now all you have to do is find a random person and stick em in the neck.

    oh and this post is just for entertainment value and shit, don't try this at home and don't blame it on me.
  • edited August 2010
    Just shoot em in a public place from a car with tinted windows. No body ever caught Biggie OR Tupac's killer.

    Buy an AWC amphibian pistol. A regular .22 could be used, but a silenced one like the Amphibian would definitely be worth it due to the noise reduction.

    Shoot them at night in a public place, steal their wallet, drive off and drop it in a trash can a few miles away. It will look like some street thug (Because they often carry .22s and low caliber shit like that) robbed them.

    You steal the wallet so the cops don't go looking at their friends or associates for a motive.

    EDIT: And don't get cute picking up the shells and shit like that. It makes it look planned.

  • jamie madroxjamie madrox Sith Lord
    edited August 2010
    Y'all are gonna get caught, they always find your sperm at the the scene.
  • OnTheFringeOnTheFringe Acolyte
    edited August 2010
    1.throw body in volcano

    2.feed body to alligators

    3.throw them off a large mountain, they'll think he fell
  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited August 2010
    Getting away with murder isn't nearly as hard as show's like CSI make it out do be. According to the FBI, in 2004, 62.6% of homicides were "cleared," So a large portion of people get away with them. First off guns so easy to trace. Each bullet is like a fingerprint but at the same time there long distance theres less chance of leaving DNA near the body. Body disposal is the most important element to murder there is. No body no crime as they say. If the person isn't related to you in any way Id just shoot them with a zip gun so I dont have to use one of mine and throw them in a river after weighing them down which does a good job of washing away evidence. Also if you freezer a body for awhile it throws off the time of death so you wont have to worry about having an Alibi should you be questioned. One last thing is NEVER have an accomplice they WILL rat you out in most cases to save there own ass.
  • GreenbullGreenbull Regular
    edited August 2010
    1. buy a pack of cigarettes
    2. put it in just enough water so that the pack is submerged, then wait a while
    3. take pack out
    4. put water into a needle.
    A pack of cigarettes has enough nicotine to kill someone if taken all at once. You have just created a needle filled with that amount of nicotine, and with the number of smokers walking around its completely untraceable back to you. Now all you have to do is find a random person and stick em in the neck.

    oh and this post is just for entertainment value and shit, don't try this at home and don't blame it on me.
    :facepalm:
  • GreenbullGreenbull Regular
    edited August 2010
    Perfect murder:
    step one: wait for a nigger to pull something resembling a weapon.
    Step two: kill said nigger.
    Step three: claim self defendce.
    Step four: laugh at nigger's grieving family.
  • ScuDScuD Regular
    edited September 2010
    percfect crime. kill myself. what the fuck are they gonna do charge me? jail me? your forensic science and critical deduction are powerless to stop or punish me.
  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited September 2010
    mrbenfield wrote: »
    two ideas i think will make it easier to get away with:

    bow and arrow, or crossbow. i think cannot be traced, unlike bullets to barrels.

    also, get rid of the body in a fresh grave at a graveyard. if you can be there alone long enough, dig up the grace, put the body in the grave, and bury it making sure it looks the same

    True. You have to be asbolutly sure there's no fingerprints on the arrow's. It's also not a very common weapon. In my opinion the best thing to do with the body is either put in a body of water weigh'd down or destroy it as much as possible with Acid or fire.
  • Pill PopperPill Popper Regular
    edited September 2010
    Is there really such a thing now a days
  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited September 2010
    Is there really such a thing now a days

    In 2007, 61.2% of murders were cleared according to the FBI.

    http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/cius2007/offenses/clearances/index.html
  • PigPig Regular
    edited September 2010
    Mayberry wrote: »
    Basic wear from head to toe:
    - comfortable socks that go above the ankle
    - comfortable pair of generic shoes

    Wouldn't an uncomfortable pair be more misleading? If you're wearing shoes that are two sizes too small, then conclusively, the subject will be thought to be much shorter than you actually are. That, or wear shoes of the opposite gender.
  • Pile of JewsPile of Jews Regular
    edited September 2010
    ^ That. Holy shit.
  • Pill PopperPill Popper Regular
    edited September 2010
    In 2007, 61.2% of murders were cleared according to the FBI.

    http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/cius2007/offenses/clearances/index.html

    No offence but that really means shit

    American law enforcement cant do shit right and more then 80 percent of those cleared cases are those that they fucked up on and cannot prosecute on
  • xazibi8xazibi8 Semo-Regulars
    edited October 2010
    shoot from a very long distance (1,000 yards +) then file barrel and take shell, then dispose of gun itself in muriatic acid / white-hot flame. to add precaution, have change of clothes, colored contacts, fake scars/tattoos, dyed hair, etc.
  • KatzenklavierKatzenklavier Regular
    edited October 2010
    You've never seen HCl have you?
Sign In or Register to comment.