30 Ways to Make a Girl Smile by Dfg

If this article was about writing down 30 ways to make men smile than it would be full of tits, money, booze and cars and some guns but this is girls we’re talking about, they’re a different breed altogether. It’s hard enough to find one thing to get them going but finding 30 ways is just really hard.

1. Make her laugh by doing something she finds funny, stabbing her while she does it works as well.
2. Sing her a song that she likes and totally ruin it by calling her a bitch.
3. Give her a cake and tell her you baked it yourself and later on laugh about how you farted on it.
4. Take pictures of her and make a collage of it and post it on the Internet calling her a slut.
5. Get some nice flowers for her and give it to her out of nowhere when she least expects it and when she smiles throw the flowers on the floor and stomp on them.
6. Give her a gentle message and help her relax and then finger her ass and her call her a man whore.
7. Watch a romantic movie with her but make sure to check your cell phone every time there is a climax or emotional scene.
8. Go on a walk or an adventure, it doesn’t have to be big but make sure she really hates it.
9. Play a computer game with that he loves and let her beat the crap out of you, and then hack her account and get her banned off the game.
10. Setup a prank that goes wrong and results in you getting pranked but after she thinks she has won, use the backup prank and totally pwn her in front of everyone.
11. Take her on a shopping session and let her buy everything she wants and then leave her in the store without money or a cell phone.
12. Compliment on her shoes and then throw the same shoes away when she is sleeping and remind her how you loved those shoes.
13. Take her on your house roof and cuddle together and then tell her a romantic story wait till she is sleep and go to bed while she sleeps alone on the roof.
14. Pretend you’re talking on the phone and when she comes out of the bath, just drop the phone and smile at her & say, you’re ugly as fuck.
15. Get her a cute dog and poison it the next week.
16. Whenever she goes out with you, act like a gentleman and open the doors for her but always make sure to hit her head with the door whenever possible.
17. Act like you’re being protective by not letting anyone near her but make sure to let every ugly fucker go as near as possible.
18. Take your most beloved shirt, give it a good wash and let her wear it and then tell her that it’s covered with dog semen.
19. Comb her hair or oil the hair if she lets you and then place gum in it and pretend nothing happened.
20. Get her the latest album of her favorite artist and tell her to play it on a family event, when she does, have the most fucked up music you can think of play instead of it.
21. Get her some exclusive tickets to a show she loves and then drop her at the last minute telling how sorry you are.
22. Impersonate her favorite actor while you cook for her and then slap her telling her you’re being in character.
23. Get her a gift, hype the shit out of it and then let her open it, only to find nothing there, blame the guy at the store of misplacing it.
24. Give her a wedding ring but tell her it’s from your dead grandmother and you stole it & you want to sell it later on.
25. Take her to a romantic dinner and go down on your knees and pop the ring and tell her that this ring belongs to your buddy and you’re going to give it to him next week. Do you like it?
26. Go down on her and start blowing air on it.
27. Give her an all exclusive you call the shots sex session, tell her that she can ask for anything she wants and when she request something, leave the room and pretend you don’t give a fuck.
28. Feed her like crazy, and then take her to roller coaster ride, give her a pill, so she pukes like hell and the last minute, leave the ride and let her do it solo.
29. Read her a romance novel while she is in bed and start farting.
30. The last and easiest one of all; hold her and whisper in her ear how much you love her and how much she has changed your life and then throw her on the floor and leave her.

 

I had to re-edit this to be a bit more realistic.

 

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