seX0ring the vacuum cleaner - Is this you?
bornkiller
AdministratorIn your girlfriends snatch
So who here has a relationship with their vacuum?"Erotic simulation by the use of vacuum cleaner or electric brooms appears to be a common form of masturbation. Unfortunately and contrary to apparent public appreciation, injury due to this form of autostimulation may not be unusual."
I guess the pros with this are you don't have relationship issues, you can fuck your vacuum anytime you want without it complaining about a headache or how tired it is, and in most countries it's not against the law to rape your vacuum in the arse if that's the way you blow.
The cons are behind the spoiler (nsfw - pwnd but not pr0n)
Remember people! Sometimes low pressure is good pressure & have fun.
Comments
The moar u no
^^ that will convince anyone to fuck a vacuum cleaner :fap:
I just love the comments on there.
It's cheaper than weight loss surgery.
He would basically sit on the bottom of the pool, holding his breath for up to 5 minutes rubbing one out - with his arsehole planted over the suction filter. That is until one day it all ended it tears (either pronunciation of the word) when he prolapsed. I can't remember whether it was a bi-product of complications in the resulting surgery or whether his insides (now outsides) got caught in the filter, but he ended up with a very small fucked up lower intestine and was told he would have to wear a nappy indefinately.
Having typed that out it seems somewhat likely to be an urban legend, but it seemed convincing (not to mention epic) at the time.
Anyway the moral of the story: combining suction devices and masturbation will not lead to happy ending boys and girls.