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Just moved to California.

MasturbatronMasturbatron Regular
edited October 2011 in Life
Basically last week at like 10pm I was on Warcraft and so was my friend when my roommate walks in and asks if I want to move to California, and I was just like :eek: fuck yeah :cool: so I asked my friend on Warcraft if he wanted to come and he was like :eek: fuck yeah :cool: so we packed up, picked him up, and moved to California.

At the moment we don't have shit but one of the guys with us just got hooked up on welfare and we're setting out to look for jobs today. Spent the weekend in Venice Beach which was a fucking BLAST! Drunk every night, weed literally thrown at us.

Because we're basically bums we got a bunch of free shit at the beach. One rich ass woman gave us each $20 and then at least $80-$100 of dank ass bud, then invited us to a rich ass party that we didn't get to go to but whatever.

So far, I fucking love California.
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  • MayorofMonkeytownMayorofMonkeytown Regular
    edited September 2011
    Pics or it didnt happen
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  • UnknownUnknown
    edited September 2011
    Sounds awesome, but we need pictures to prove your story :D I'd quite like to visit California, just to see what it's like over there.
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  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited September 2011
    The little flaw in this story is the welfare thing, they don't give single men welfare here. Maybe $200 in food stamps but that's it.

    Don't come up to the desert, we don't need any more bums here.
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  • MasturbatronMasturbatron Regular
    edited September 2011
    Uhm..I don't really see how I can post pictures to prove that I'm in California? W/e no camera anyways. We just got like $150 in food stamps and that's really all we needed, been looking for jobs all day today and yesterday.

    Buddha - Fuck the desert. We had to cross the Mojave to get here and fuck that place. Fuck it hard.

    Venice Beach again this weekend? Probably.
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  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited September 2011
    GeneralMcBoozer wrote: »
    LOL, california sucks ass. Once the novelty of your new living location wears off, you'll realize this too. You couldn't pay me to live in that shithole.

    Fucking this. Cali is full of hobos & the cost of living is ridiculous. Not to mention the traffic...
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  • ThirdRockFromTheSunThirdRockFromTheSun <b style="color:blue;">Third<em style="color:pink;">Cock</em>FromThe<em style="color:brown;">Bum</em
    edited September 2011
    CALIFORNIA, IS NICE TO THE HOMELESS,

    CALIFOR-NYUH-NYUH. SUPER COOL TO THE HOMLEESSSS
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  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited September 2011
    Masturbatron wrote: »
    Uhm..I don't really see how I can post pictures to prove that I'm in California? W/e no camera anyways. We just got like $150 in food stamps and that's really all we needed, been looking for jobs all day today and yesterday.

    Buddha - Fuck the desert. We had to cross the Mojave to get here and fuck that place. Fuck it hard.

    Venice Beach again this weekend? Probably.

    Since you are in Venice, you can prove it by getting a pic with Harry Perry. And what's wrong with the desert? Get a little too hot for you? sissy girl.
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  • Gary OakGary Oak Regular
    edited September 2011
    California > New York
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  • duuudeduuude Regular
    edited September 2011
    Even if I was rich I still wouldn't give a random group of strangers $80-$100 worth of my ganja. :mad:
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  • Gary OakGary Oak Regular
    edited September 2011
    GeneralMcBoozer wrote:
    New York sucks dick too.

    Where would you prefer to live GMB?
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  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited September 2011
    Sounds like a tale, Masturbatron. Pics would be great, and I wish I could up sticks and move :mad: like someone here described the jack Kerouac book I'm reading at the moment, describing him as a "tweaked out vagabond". Another goal in life.
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  • mandingomandingo Regular
    edited September 2011
    why would all that stuff be given to you when there are countless homeless people in venice... sounds like a bunch of bs to me
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  • MasturbatronMasturbatron Regular
    edited September 2011
    Who the fuck is Harry Perry? And we're not in Venice anymore we're in Covina now with my friends family. RemadE, I love Jack Kerouac, currently reading Dharma Bums. Mandingo, fuck you. Everything here I'm saying is true whether or not you want to believe it. Just because kick ass things happened to us in Venice Beach and not you doesn't mean it didn't happen. Faggot.

    Oh, and Buddha, the desert wasn't too hot or anything it just wasn't preferred territory.
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  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited September 2011
    Wiki harry perry, you should have noticed him if you were in venice, not saying you weren't just saying he is hard to miss. And he's fucking famous, and a really nice guy.
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  • MasturbatronMasturbatron Regular
    edited September 2011
    buddha wrote: »
    Wiki harry perry, you should have noticed him if you were in venice, not saying you weren't just saying he is hard to miss. And he's fucking famous, and a really nice guy.
    OH FUCK THAT GUY! This guy is fucking bad ass. He's up and down that boardwalk a lot on those weird ass skates and that guitar. I didn't know he was famous or anything like that but I know exactly who you're talking about now that I see the wiki. We must have passed him a dozen times. Favorite performer out there hands fucking down.

    Off topic: Anyone know of a good free online resume maker?

    Don't you Cali niggas just love the amount of attractive Asian and Mexican bitches out here?
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  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited September 2011
    Masturbatron wrote: »
    OH FUCK THAT GUY! This guy is fucking bad ass. He's up and down that boardwalk a lot on those weird ass skates and that guitar. I didn't know he was famous or anything like that but I know exactly who you're talking about now that I see the wiki. We must have passed him a dozen times. Favorite performer out there hands fucking down.

    Off topic: Anyone know of a good free online resume maker?

    Don't you Cali niggas just love the amount of attractive Asian and Mexican bitches out here?

    Yeah I try not to make eye contact with him or he'll follow you around singing all loud as fuck, and yeah he is pretty famous, been in a bunch of movies and shit (as himself).

    And after being here a while you kind of take all the hot chicks for granted, then you move somewhere else like MO, and realize there ain't no fucking talent there.
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  • MasturbatronMasturbatron Regular
    edited September 2011
    buddha wrote: »
    Yeah I try not to make eye contact with him or he'll follow you around singing all loud as fuck, and yeah he is pretty famous, been in a bunch of movies and shit (as himself).

    And after being here a while you kind of take all the hot chicks for granted, then you move somewhere else like MO, and realize there ain't no fucking talent there.

    We figured he was some bum trying to get money, but I guess that's not the case? Shit man we were determined to go back and give him some fuckin' money just because of how bad ass he was.
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  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited September 2011
    Masturbatron wrote: »
    We figured he was some bum trying to get money, but I guess that's not the case? Shit man we were determined to go back and give him some fuckin' money just because of how bad ass he was.

    Buy a cd from him.
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  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited September 2011
    Masturbatron wrote: »
    OH FUCK THAT GUY! This guy is fucking bad ass. He's up and down that boardwalk a lot on those weird ass skates and that guitar. I didn't know he was famous or anything like that but I know exactly who you're talking about now that I see the wiki. We must have passed him a dozen times. Favorite performer out there hands fucking down.

    Off topic: Anyone know of a good free online resume maker?

    Don't you Cali niggas just love the amount of attractive Asian and Mexican bitches out here?

    Try Dfg :)
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  • ducklipsducklips Regular
    edited September 2011
    That sounds awesome OP. I love being able to do things like pick up and leave, travel and meet strange and awesome people. I'd probably like California more if i ever made it to the beach but nope I am forever stuck here in the desert.
    buddha wrote: »
    And after being here a while you kind of take all the hot chicks for granted, then you move somewhere else like MO, and realize there ain't no fucking talent there.

    lol fuck you :p
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  • BoxBox Regular
    edited September 2011
    FUCK YOU WEST COASTERS

    EAST COAST ALL DAY BITCHES

    OP IS NEVER GONNA GET PUSSY YOU FUCKING HARDCORE WANKER

    AND HAHAHA AT YOU LOSERS LIVING IN THE DESERTS. LOL!!!!!!!!!
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  • MasturbatronMasturbatron Regular
    edited September 2011
    2 interviews already. I couldn't even get interviews back in SC much less a fucking job.
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  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited September 2011
    GeneralMcBoozer wrote: »
    Northern MN, no place else.

    Fuck that place, too much snow.
    Box wrote: »
    FUCK YOU WEST COASTERS

    EAST COAST ALL DAY BITCHES

    OP IS NEVER GONNA GET PUSSY YOU FUCKING HARDCORE WANKER

    AND HAHAHA AT YOU LOSERS LIVING IN THE DESERTS. LOL!!!!!!!!!

    Haha, I'm in the desert. I'd rather live here than somewhere humid.
    GeneralMcBoozer wrote: »
    New York sucks dick too.

    It does. Fucking filthy, crowded & full of niggers.
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  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited September 2011
    ^Which desert?
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  • MasturbatronMasturbatron Regular
    edited September 2011
    buddha wrote: »
    ^Which desert?
    Fuck the Mojave.
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  • blindbatblindbat Regular
    edited September 2011
    where are you going for the interviews ?
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  • MasturbatronMasturbatron Regular
    edited September 2011
    blindbat wrote: »
    where are you going for the interviews ?
    Sears and then some call center place.
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  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited September 2011
    buddha wrote: »
    ^Which desert?

    Sonoran.
    Masturbatron wrote: »
    Fuck the Mojave.

    :facepalm: There are more deserts than the Mojave.
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  • GallowsGallows Regular
    edited September 2011
    I'm glad you're enjoying your move. I thought Covina was dull when I went there, but Venice is fun. California is a pretty nice state overall, in my opinion. There is tons of natural beauty, and I can surf and snowboard in the same day. Unfortunately, the laws and culture are :thumbsdown:
    Masturbatron wrote: »
    Don't you Cali niggas just love the amount of attractive Asian and Mexican bitches out here?
    No, I'd prefer the streets be populated by attractive Swedes. I'm not big on cholas or fresh off the boat Asians.
    cholahotness2345.preview.jpg
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  • MasturbatronMasturbatron Regular
    edited September 2011
    Man, I just want to say, FUCK HARRY PERRY. That guy fucking blows. He wanted to charge $20 for a FUCKING PICTURE! So lame.

    Anyways, first interview down. It went well. Another coming up Wednesday.

    How would I get my foot into the porn industry door? I hear San Fernando Valley is filled with porn. I'm serious about this. I've looked on Craigslist to no avail.
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  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited September 2011
    Masturbatron wrote: »
    How would I get my foot into the porn industry door? I hear San Fernando Valley is filled with porn. I'm serious about this. I've looked on Craigslist to no avail.

    Out of curiosity, what do you want to do in the porn industry?
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  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited September 2011
    ShadyTroll wrote: »
    Out of curiosity, what do you want to do in the porn industry?

    He wants to be a fluffer.
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  • MasturbatronMasturbatron Regular
    edited September 2011
    ShadyTroll wrote: »
    Out of curiosity, what do you want to do in the porn industry?

    Fuck. Idk man, every time I've had sex I was unable to nut..so I can go for a while and I feel like that's a key role as a male porn actor?
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  • MayorofMonkeytownMayorofMonkeytown Regular
    edited September 2011
    Still no evidence your in cali.

    Enjoy your food stamps.
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  • MasturbatronMasturbatron Regular
    edited September 2011
    MayorofMonkeytown wrote: »
    Still no evidence your in cali.

    Enjoy your food stamps.

    Well, at the moment I'm sitting on a couch that's in the living room of a house in Covina, CA, so, as far as I know I'm in Cali.

    Thanks for your contribution, faggot.
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  • RunScreamingRunScreaming Acolyte
    edited September 2011
    My sunny state was fine until you hobos stampeded in from Oklahoma and RUINED it.

    I've lived in teh midwest. It's bleak, you can have it.

    But yeah, Covina and greater LA is an armpit, I'll give you that.
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  • MayorofMonkeytownMayorofMonkeytown Regular
    edited September 2011
    Masturbatron wrote: »
    Well, at the moment I'm sitting on a couch that's in the living room of a house in Covina, CA, so, as far as I know I'm in Cali.

    Nothing but hearsay.

    Picture of a reciept from a store or whatever - but right now theres no proof you're anywhere.

    If in three weeks "HERP DERP I MOVED BACK HOME" then i called it right now that you never left.

    [edit] - no need for name calling faggot.
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  • MayorofMonkeytownMayorofMonkeytown Regular
    edited October 2011
    Hey nice pics!
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  • MasturbatronMasturbatron Regular
    edited October 2011
    Sorry. Getting pictures to prove that I'm in California for some faggot on the internet isn't very high on my list of priorities.
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  • nenglmnenglm New Arrival
    edited October 2011
    i live in california, its pretty much a shit hole.
    I live in a town where the cops dont give a fuck about crime. But they got the time to pull you over for nothing and give you a ticket. So you can waste your time and go to court to appeal it.
    Then again its the only place i ever lived in, i wouldnt know about other states/country
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  • MayorofMonkeytownMayorofMonkeytown Regular
    edited October 2011
    Masturbatron wrote: »
    Sorry. Getting pictures to prove that I'm in California for some faggot on the internet isn't very high on my list of priorities.
    Its nearly been a month.

    I'll cut you a break if you got a job; did you get one of those jobs?

    I hear times are tough around America employment wise.
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  • MasturbatronMasturbatron Regular
    edited October 2011
    MayorofMonkeytown wrote: »
    Its nearly been a month.

    I'll cut you a break if you got a job; did you get one of those jobs?

    I hear times are tough around America employment wise.

    Actually, 2/3 of us that came here are now employed, including myself. The 3rd just had an interview.
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  • MayorofMonkeytownMayorofMonkeytown Regular
    edited October 2011
    Congratulations.

    What is the occupation?
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  • blindbatblindbat Regular
    edited October 2011
    i thought you were close to venice beach masture. fuck i wanted to have a meet up with u .
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