Finally some decent jokes. Sexist!
- Why did God create woman? To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
- If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? The swallow
- How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex? Call her.
- Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care.
- What is the definition of "making love"? Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
- What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant.
- What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your [w]hole weak.
- How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
- What's the difference between pre-menstrual tension and B.S.E? One's mad cow disease; the other's an agricultural problem.
- Why does the bride always wear white? Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
- What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already.
- How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
- If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? Made her chain too long.
- How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it!
- What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.
- What are the three fastest means of communication? 1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Tel-a-woman
- Why do hunters make the best lovers? Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once, and they eat what they shoot.
- How are fat girls and mopeds alike? They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
- What should you give a woman who has everything? A man to show her how to work it.
- How are tornadoes and marriage alike? They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end you lose your house.
- Why does a bride smile when she walks up the aisle? She knows she's given her last blow job.
- What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party while a bitch sleeps with everyoneveryone at the party except you.
- What's the difference between your wife and your job? After 10 years the job still sucks.
- What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
- Why is the space between a women's breasts and her hips called a waist"? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
- Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? When you take it off, you wonder where her tits went.
- How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it.
- Why did the woman cross the road? What's the bitch doing out of the kitchen in the first place?!
- Why are there no female astronauts on the moon? 'cause it doesn't need cleaning yet.
- How is a woman like a condom? Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick
YAY!
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