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I'm so fucking ill

JustAnotherAssholeJustAnotherAsshole Regular
edited November 2010 in Spurious Generalities
I awoke at 5 in the morning to a stirring in my abdomen, and a notable increase in salivation. Recognizing the signs of an impending fit of vomiting, I rushed to the bathroom. Having vomited in my mouth already before managing to get out of bed, I had to transport the sickly mixture among my teeth and tongue for a number of steps. After a few more surges of sick into the bathroom sink, it subsided and I stumbled back to bed after washing my mouth out.

Three hours later, I awoke again with a shiver, a burning abdominal pain and a sickly nausea. I go to the bathroom and vomit again. Every movement I make causes pain to my now sensitive innards. I have vomited three more times since I woke up and I feel like I'm getting worse.

This shit sucks ass.
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  • DysgraphiaDysgraphia Locked
    edited November 2010
    Did you have sex last night?
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  • JustAnotherAssholeJustAnotherAsshole Regular
    edited November 2010
    Dysgraphia wrote: »
    Did you have sex last night?

    No. I can't stop puking, it has to be the flu or something.
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  • DysgraphiaDysgraphia Locked
    edited November 2010
    That's pretty gross dude. You can lose some pounds stimulating it.
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  • DysgraphiaDysgraphia Locked
    edited November 2010
    tSwifty?

    I'm like 8 foot 4
    Blond hair to the floor
    You shorties never thought I dreamed about rapping hardcore
    No I ain't got a gun
    No I never really been in a club
    Still live with my parents but I'm still a thug
    I'm so gangster you can find me baking cookies at night
    You out clubbing but I just made caramel delight
    T-Swift and T-Pain rapping on the same track
    It's a thug story, tell me can you handle that?

    [T-Pain & Taylor:]
    I had a dream last night

    [Taylor Swift:]
    I had high top Nikes
    I had

    [T-Pain & Taylor:]
    Diamonds in my mouth
    And Diamonds on my mic

    [Taylor Swift:]
    By the time I woke I was singing

    [T-Pain:]
    I'm on a boat, whoa oh

    [Taylor Swift:]
    Cause I'm a singer turned rapper

    [T-Pain:]
    Shorty I'm a make ya

    [Taylor Swift:]

    [ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/thug-story-lyrics-taylor-swift.html ]

    Straight to the top, yo

    [T-Pain:]
    Shorty I'm a take ya

    [Taylor Swift:]
    You can call me T-Sweezy
    Now I'm a rap star

    [T-Pain:]
    Hey, It's a thug story
    Now tell 'em who you are
    Singer turned gangster

    [Taylor Swift:]
    You don't want to fight me

    [T-Pain:]
    Straight to the top

    [Taylor Swift:]
    In my extra small white tee

    [T-Pain:]
    T-Swift and T-Pain all up on the same track
    It's a thug story now can you get with that?

    [Taylor Swift (T-Pain):]
    What, What, I knit sweaters, yo!
    What, What, Don't test me (Beep)
    Hey, Hold on, hold on
    I didn't even say anything I- (What?)
    I said Yo (yup)
    You guys bleeped me and I didn't even say anything
    I didn't swear (She didn't even swear)
    Hello? Ugh!
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  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited November 2010
    JustAnotherAsshole wrote: »
    I awoke at 5 in the morning to a stirring in my abdomen, and a notable increase in salivation. Recognizing the signs of an impending fit of vomiting, I rushed to the bathroom. Having vomited in my mouth already before managing to get out of bed, I had to transport the sickly mixture among my teeth and tongue for a number of steps. After a few more surges of sick into the bathroom sink, it subsided and I stumbled back to bed after washing my mouth out.

    Three hours later, I awoke again with a shiver, a burning abdominal pain and a sickly nausea. I go to the bathroom and vomit again. Every movement I make causes pain to my now sensitive innards. I have vomited three more times since I woke up and I feel like I'm getting worse.

    This shit sucks ass.


    Did you eat any seafood yesterday? This sounds a lot like when I got food poisoning. Especially the burning nausea. If it feels horrible enough that you would almost welcome death then it may be food poisoning.
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  • KatzenklavierKatzenklavier Regular
    edited November 2010
    Have a bowl of chicken soup. Always helps.
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  • Hammer TankHammer Tank Regular
    edited November 2010
    shit sucks, hope you feel better:hai:
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  • skyclaw441skyclaw441 Regular
    edited November 2010
    Oh my God, that sucks ass. I hope you feel better soon. Since this was posted yesterday, I doubt you're still vomiting at least.
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  • JustAnotherAssholeJustAnotherAsshole Regular
    edited November 2010
    I'm over it, now. I suspect Norovirus or something similar.

    If that virus were a person, I'd pistol whip the shit out of it. It stole my goddamn Saturday. I didn't do shit yesterday but hunch over trash bins and vomit up stomach acid/bile/whatever I attempted to eat or drink.

    EDIT: Also, pot helped.
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  • PacinoPacino Regular
    edited November 2010
    lol @ you poor people eating bad food
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  • KatzenklavierKatzenklavier Regular
    edited November 2010
    Eat some 2-hydroxy-2H,4H-benzo[d]1,3-dioxa-2-bismacyclohexan-4-one.

    It'll make you feel better.
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  • LSA KingLSA King Regular
    edited November 2010
    Never ceases to amaze me how a teeny tiny micro-bacteria organism can fuck a human up and make them turn into a bitch. I hope scientists can figure out a way to reverse engineer said organisms to fight for your body instead of against it in the future. I would trust a modified natural organism over nanobots in my body any day of the week.
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