Think back to your first girlfriend...

edited March 2011 in Life
Is it just me, or do you think something along the lines of "What the fuck was I thinking?!"

My first girlfriend isn't attractive at all, and I'm pretty sure she is a bitch and has no friends. I have no idea what I was thinking back then, but I was obviously blind :D

Comments

  • RogueEagle91RogueEagle91 Regular
    edited February 2011
    I still hope my first ex kills herself.

    That answer your question?
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited February 2011
    My first girlfriend had mosquito bites for tits. But on the other hand I was 14 and she was 17. That and she had a car. Plus she gave up the pussy. So all in all it was a pretty sweet deal for a 14 year old.
  • edited February 2011
    Ugh, I keep thinking of how weird she is. I went near that thing :(
  • jewnosejewnose Regular
    edited February 2011
    My first girlfriend was cute and a little chubby, which I like. She was a crazy bitch though, and I'm sure she still is.
  • edited February 2011
    I don't really have any animosity toward my first ex. She was a cunt and I pity her for it, but we had fun while it lasted.
  • VizierVizier Regular
    edited February 2011
    My first girlfriend looks more and more chunky every time I see her again. It was alright, we ended up as friends I guess. She was a weird bitch I'll tell you that, but so have been pretty much all the girls I've ever involved myself with, so yeah.
  • bornkillerbornkiller Administrator In your girlfriends snatch
    edited February 2011
    My first one was a hawty. I look @ the rest & think...WTF?
  • SlartibartfastSlartibartfast Global Moderator -__-
    edited February 2011
    I'd like to think that the few women I've developed relationships with have been so profoundly touched and humbled by my endearing and warn personality that in a way I have cleansed them of all vices and made them all perfect.
  • VizierVizier Regular
    edited February 2011
    I'd like to think that the few women I've developed relationships with have been so profoundly touched and humbled by my endearing and warn personality that in a way I have cleansed them of all vices and made them all perfect.

    Did you show them the fjords of Norway?
  • PennywisePennywise Regular
    edited February 2011
    My first was awesome. I really liked him. He used to play nirvana for me on his guitar. He was the preachers son, I started going to church with him. He died while on a church outting. I dont go to church anymore.
  • SlartibartfastSlartibartfast Global Moderator -__-
    edited February 2011
    Pennywise wrote: »
    My first was awesome. I really liked him. He used to play nirvana for me on his guitar. He was the preachers son, I started going to church with him. He died while on a church outting. I dont go to church anymore.

    :hai::hai::hai::hai:


    PS: How did he die?
  • PennywisePennywise Regular
    edited February 2011
    I love that song!
    He was playing volleyball and it rolled into the water. He went in to get it and the water was too cold. It was like he was there, and then gone. They didn't find him for 4 hours. I think I might loved him.
  • edited February 2011
    Pennywise wrote: »
    I love that song!
    He was playing volleyball and it rolled into the water. He went in to get it and the water was too cold. It was like he was there, and then gone. They didn't find him for 4 hours. I think I might loved him.

    That reminds me of the time I decided to fake my own death to escape this one chick :hai:
  • MantikoreMantikore Regular
    edited February 2011
    we still hang out
  • MooseKnuckleMooseKnuckle Regular
    edited February 2011
    she was dumb, sex was good. :thumbsup:
  • pookapooka New Arrival
    edited February 2011
    I think that son of a preacher's man song was in pulp fiction
  • MordFustangMordFustang Regular
    edited February 2011
    Vineman wrote: »
    That reminds me of the time I decided to fake my own death to escape this one chick :hai:

    When I lol, I lol Hard.:cool:
  • BigHarryDickBigHarryDick Cock Bite
    edited February 2011
    I turned her lezbo...


    LOL. dumb bitch
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited February 2011
    Thankfully I was quite picky with girls, and still can be. I never regretted it ;)
  • BigHarryDickBigHarryDick Cock Bite
    edited February 2011
    so you never been laid ^^^
  • TSAoDTSAoD Regular
    edited February 2011
    "Think back to your first girlfriend..."

    I wish I could erase the memories.
  • BigHarryDickBigHarryDick Cock Bite
    edited February 2011
  • BitterConflictBitterConflict Regular
    edited February 2011
    Almost had a couple of girlfriends, but nowadays they don't talk to me anymore.
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited February 2011
    She was pretty and nice but we rarely saw each other. We met at a forensic (speech and debate, not science of crime) tournament. She was from a different school and I tried to see her as much as possible so we got together at least once twice a month. Never had sex because she wasn't ready but did all but. She was short and had big tits. Something tells me she is probably fat now.
  • PhilosoraptorPhilosoraptor Regular
    edited February 2011
    She was an indie/punk kinda girl who was also a cheerleader. Yeah its a weird combo. One of the few hot redheads though. Never banged her because we were young.
  • RolfRolf Regular
    edited February 2011
    She went to a catholic school, and, like all who go to said catholic school, she was an absolute slut... at least after she was with the mightiness that is Rolf, states Rolf. Unlike the dragonkin whom posted above Rolf, Rolf did bang her, even if said Rolf and said now-slut were only 14, good 14th birthday present for mighty Rolf, states Rolf.
  • mynicknamemynickname Acolyte
    edited February 2011
    Best mistake I ever made...
  • MooseKnuckleMooseKnuckle Regular
    edited February 2011
    mynickname wrote: »
    Best mistake I ever made...

    lol fowler
  • NegrophobeNegrophobe Regular
    edited February 2011
    I wouln't say I've ever had a girlfriend, nor do I really care to ever have one. When I reach my 30s, if this world hasn't completely caved in on us, will be the only time I CONSIDER getting a girlfriend and having children; even then I'm going to make sure it's with a druggy who will be easy enough to get back onto the dope once the children are born, making custody easier for me to obtain. That is unless the mass majority of males regain control of their lives, clear their mind of tripe and concentrate on being a man, creating and thriving for a better world, whilst implementing a strong force of patriarchy. In which case, we'll be likely to have created an artificial womb and have to spend even less time on them.


    Anyway... that aside, my last "assistant" was 2 years ago when I was 10 years old, she wouldn't leave me alone, all she wanted to play was doctors. I, being a child of originality and having a want to express learned talents, had a better idea. I'd been learning the effects and scientific nature behind hypnosis; after seeing one at the carnival perform it on the audience, it piqued my interest. I got her relaxed in her parents bedroom, with the background noise of quake drowning any other noise out, but being relaxing enough to put her into hypnotic state. I commanded her to suck my cock whilst I rolled her nipples between my fingers and squeezed and tug on them. I didn't cum much but she did a good enough job to make my pee-pee throb and my bellend roasting hot; needless to say, under my spell I got her to let me slide in and out of her tight cunt, loosened up slightly by my fingers and made easier with warm water from the bathroom tap, she'd got goosepimples all over her labia; in addition to being lubed up; she was relaxed. I slapped her everytime she yelped too loud, she yelped once too often and I headbutted her in the nose. She bagn to tear up even more so, I gave her a patronizing "kiss better" and carried on pumping my 10 year old meat into her tight twat.


    I threatened to tell her father that she smokes (lie) if she told anyone of our session. Just to make sure the risk factor was decreased I had put her into another hypnotic state half an hour later and then we played hide and seek. She'd seemingly forgotten the event in all of its entirety.
  • AmieAmie Regular
    edited February 2011
    Negrophobe wrote: »
    I wouln't say I've ever had a girlfriend, nor do I really care to ever have one. When I reach my 30s, if this world hasn't completely caved in on us, will be the only time ... Bla bla bla, TL/DR post bla bla bla ...

    I just watched big bang theory. I read this in the voice of Sheldon and it makes perfect sense that way.
  • TSAoDTSAoD Regular
    edited February 2011
    Negrophobe wrote: »
    I wouln't say I've ever had a girlfriend, nor do I really care to ever have one.

    :facepalm:
  • mynicknamemynickname Acolyte
    edited February 2011
    lol fowler

    word. lol
  • MarijuanasaurusMarijuanasaurus Regular
    edited February 2011
    My first girlfriend was hot as fuck.
  • BigHarryDickBigHarryDick Cock Bite
    edited February 2011
    ^^ now you date fat ugly trolls
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited February 2011
    Turned out to be a man.
  • MarijuanasaurusMarijuanasaurus Regular
    edited February 2011
    ^^ now you date fat ugly trolls

    like you bb.
  • mynicknamemynickname Acolyte
    edited February 2011
    Now my last girl on the other hand, was a lying, shady, sneak around, grimy, shysty, whore of a bar rat slut bitch... fuckin cunt!
  • BigHarryDickBigHarryDick Cock Bite
    edited February 2011
    like you bb.

    dont be so mean to your mother.

    Bitch has feelings to
  • SpeedbagsSpeedbags Regular
    edited March 2011
    My first GF was an amazingly cute girl, nice body, virgin and an avid church goer. She was also 16 and I was 20, we never had sex, she wanted to wait until we were married and stupidly I respected that....then before she turned 18 she dumped me and fucked the next guy she was with; a tall goofy, tattoo'd, pierced motherfucker.

    Karma's a bitch though, now she weighs about 200lbs and I wouldn't touch her even if she asked. I always hold a grudge against her though because I've always wanted to fuck a virgin and she was perfect.
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