Fighting The Revolution, Guide to Killing The Government and Surviving
Before we start watch this:
This is a prime example how NOT to fight a revolution. If you're a Totsean and you're taking part in this then NEVER go in the front line thinking everything will be alright. When the times comes you will get killed and no one will give a fuck about you.
The thing about revolution is, there are few people behind it that control and motivate others. They don't go in the front line but constantly talk like they were the ones doing everything. You must be in that group to survive and reap the benefits. You must not be a fucking sheep.
Religion is a strong motivator. Do not throw your life away because of it. You're even a bigger idiot if you think by walking up to the firing line and getting killed will get you any virgins because technically you're fighting a war that isn't Jihad nor are you dying for anything holy. You're just killing yourself for something that only exist in this world. That line was for the majority of idiots btw.
If you're an enlightened person you will know what to avoid. Always avoid getting killed, always try to take pictures, get videos out and talk to the media in complete detail. For example, imagine Pakistan has this sort revolution. The first thing I would do is lock down my house. The second thing I would do is contact the local police and Army. I will talk with them and get a channel going.
Then I am going to get a helmet and some Kevlar. Get a fucking press badge and move in. My job would be to support the revolution without getting killed. I will be the inside man getting all the stories in place.
This guide is aimed for Totsean mostly, so you're not one of us. Just kill yourself already. You will need:
You can add or remove items if you want.
When you prepare for this, you will need to clear your mind. You must accept that at any point you will have to use a dead or live person as a human shield. You will have to accept that if required you will kill anyone for your survival and you must accept that if times get tough you will back out and focus on surviving. Totseans aren't idiots. We value our own lives. We don't do suicide missions unless we're aiming to kill everyone. We observe and molest from time to time.
You must accept that at any point you will die. So, it's better to write a will and encrypt everything and make proper arrangements and getting a huge insurance wouldn't be such a bad idea. Get health insurance anyway.
Lies and more lies. Your job is to make everything super dramatic. If someone gets shot, you go to them and hit them few times to make the wound look much worse. I mean you need to show everything in extreme. If a police official shoves a person, you must call it harassment or molestation or rape and if possible assault.
The pictures you take should be taken in such a fashion that it will show only the state doing the bad things. Tell someone to throw stones at the police and wait for them to strike back. When they do snap and snap away. Sure someone will get hurt but it's your job to take picture. Once taken wait for someone to get shot. Make a collage of images and make sure to connect the head shot image with the police firing in same sequence.
Our job is to force the government into doing something stupid, like ordering the Army to come in and do live firing. When that happens, use molotov and tell others to throw rocks at them. When everyone is doing that, send your grenade flying, once it goes off and kills someone in the Army you take cover. It's best if the grenade is hidden or painted over. You throw that motherfucker and you run for cover. As soon as it gets off, Army will fire back, The cover you take shouldn't expose you in any way. But it should give you enough clearance to get good images.
Just wait for the assault, in few seconds you will bodies after bodies going down. If posted correctly, you will get millions of views and plus plenty of traffic to your website. Adding some Adsense and other Ads to your website wouldn't be a bad thing to do.
Moving on, you don't need to do anything else. But its one time deal only. You get your gear in place and wear the red cross band and helmet. Wait for others to leave and then run for the bodies raising the band. MAKE FUCKING SURE TO NOT GET IN THE LINE OF FIRE. The aim here is to touch one body and try to move it out-of-the-way. The camera's will be recording your every move, and if played correctly you will be deemed a fucking hero for having the balls to go in front while others were running away.
Timing is essential. YOU MUST WAIT for others to run away and ARMY to cool down before you try to do your stunt. Remember to wear the red cross helmet or band. DO NOT FUCK THIS PART. Also, in case of tear gas wear a mask.
As a Totsean it's NOT your job to win the revolution, but it's your job to earn something from it or have fun. I do have more to add but I don't want to give away everything. I mean in future Pakistan might see a revolution as well and it's best if I keep the full details to myself. I do know one thing. I will be making some quality money if that happens.
So, totseans. No protest is peaceful, if you live in an Islamic state always remember that any given moment you might get killed by the police/army or some idiot Terrorist group might target your protest. Unless you're willing to go the extra mile, it's wise for a totsean to stay safe and avoid the conflict altogether.
Fuck the world and fuck the system. But fuck it on your own turf.
FUCK TYPOS!
This is a prime example how NOT to fight a revolution. If you're a Totsean and you're taking part in this then NEVER go in the front line thinking everything will be alright. When the times comes you will get killed and no one will give a fuck about you.
The thing about revolution is, there are few people behind it that control and motivate others. They don't go in the front line but constantly talk like they were the ones doing everything. You must be in that group to survive and reap the benefits. You must not be a fucking sheep.
Religion is a strong motivator. Do not throw your life away because of it. You're even a bigger idiot if you think by walking up to the firing line and getting killed will get you any virgins because technically you're fighting a war that isn't Jihad nor are you dying for anything holy. You're just killing yourself for something that only exist in this world. That line was for the majority of idiots btw.
If you're an enlightened person you will know what to avoid. Always avoid getting killed, always try to take pictures, get videos out and talk to the media in complete detail. For example, imagine Pakistan has this sort revolution. The first thing I would do is lock down my house. The second thing I would do is contact the local police and Army. I will talk with them and get a channel going.
Then I am going to get a helmet and some Kevlar. Get a fucking press badge and move in. My job would be to support the revolution without getting killed. I will be the inside man getting all the stories in place.
Basic Preparations
This guide is aimed for Totsean mostly, so you're not one of us. Just kill yourself already. You will need:
- A carrying bag, which is light but good enough to take heavy loads.
- A point and shoot camera with recording option.
- Extra batteries.
- Some glasses
- A fake ID and press card
- Full body protection along with Kevlar.
- A white band and some press stickers and some Red cross stickers as well.
- A knife for close combat protection.
- A pistol for life and dead situation.
- A molotov for tagging and fun or to start the fight.
- A grenade, incase you're doing a suicide mission.
- Lots of chocolate and water.
- A fucking loud-speaker.
- Gas Mask.
- Durable cellphone with Internet Connection.
- A Netbook with Internet Access.
You can add or remove items if you want.
Mindset
When you prepare for this, you will need to clear your mind. You must accept that at any point you will have to use a dead or live person as a human shield. You will have to accept that if required you will kill anyone for your survival and you must accept that if times get tough you will back out and focus on surviving. Totseans aren't idiots. We value our own lives. We don't do suicide missions unless we're aiming to kill everyone. We observe and molest from time to time.
You must accept that at any point you will die. So, it's better to write a will and encrypt everything and make proper arrangements and getting a huge insurance wouldn't be such a bad idea. Get health insurance anyway.
Propaganda 101
Lies and more lies. Your job is to make everything super dramatic. If someone gets shot, you go to them and hit them few times to make the wound look much worse. I mean you need to show everything in extreme. If a police official shoves a person, you must call it harassment or molestation or rape and if possible assault.
The pictures you take should be taken in such a fashion that it will show only the state doing the bad things. Tell someone to throw stones at the police and wait for them to strike back. When they do snap and snap away. Sure someone will get hurt but it's your job to take picture. Once taken wait for someone to get shot. Make a collage of images and make sure to connect the head shot image with the police firing in same sequence.
Our job is to force the government into doing something stupid, like ordering the Army to come in and do live firing. When that happens, use molotov and tell others to throw rocks at them. When everyone is doing that, send your grenade flying, once it goes off and kills someone in the Army you take cover. It's best if the grenade is hidden or painted over. You throw that motherfucker and you run for cover. As soon as it gets off, Army will fire back, The cover you take shouldn't expose you in any way. But it should give you enough clearance to get good images.
Just wait for the assault, in few seconds you will bodies after bodies going down. If posted correctly, you will get millions of views and plus plenty of traffic to your website. Adding some Adsense and other Ads to your website wouldn't be a bad thing to do.
Moving on, you don't need to do anything else. But its one time deal only. You get your gear in place and wear the red cross band and helmet. Wait for others to leave and then run for the bodies raising the band. MAKE FUCKING SURE TO NOT GET IN THE LINE OF FIRE. The aim here is to touch one body and try to move it out-of-the-way. The camera's will be recording your every move, and if played correctly you will be deemed a fucking hero for having the balls to go in front while others were running away.
Timing is essential. YOU MUST WAIT for others to run away and ARMY to cool down before you try to do your stunt. Remember to wear the red cross helmet or band. DO NOT FUCK THIS PART. Also, in case of tear gas wear a mask.
Bringing a Change
As a Totsean it's NOT your job to win the revolution, but it's your job to earn something from it or have fun. I do have more to add but I don't want to give away everything. I mean in future Pakistan might see a revolution as well and it's best if I keep the full details to myself. I do know one thing. I will be making some quality money if that happens.
So, totseans. No protest is peaceful, if you live in an Islamic state always remember that any given moment you might get killed by the police/army or some idiot Terrorist group might target your protest. Unless you're willing to go the extra mile, it's wise for a totsean to stay safe and avoid the conflict altogether.
Fuck the world and fuck the system. But fuck it on your own turf.
FUCK TYPOS!
Comments
Can't wait to post my next guide
I don't have one.
EDIT: And eventually, they'll assfuck Israel.