Ask a Sanctioned Casino Brawler (who just won 2nd place welterweight) Anything

My Mom Is DeadMy Mom Is Dead Regular
edited April 2011 in Spurious Generalities
So I just got back from the fights. Here's the medal they gave me.

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Here's the fight program, and picture of me.
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I wore orange woman's tennis shorts with white piping, solid orange knee-high baseball socks, and some grass green ankle high P.F. Flyers. :cool:
I took second place in the event--going head to head with the champion of several years. In his fight history, he has only lost once, so I don't feel too bad losing to that monster.

Comments

  • GallowsGallows Regular
    edited April 2011
    Sounds like fun. I looked up some event videos online, and it looks like they have boxing and MMA events. Did you just do the boxing one? How much experience did you have going into it?
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited April 2011
    WTF is a sanctioned casino brawler?
  • My Mom Is DeadMy Mom Is Dead Regular
    edited April 2011
    Gallows wrote: »
    Sounds like fun. I looked up some event videos online, and it looks like they have boxing and MMA events. Did you just do the boxing one? How much experience did you have going into it?

    I did boxing, as I have absolutely no experience. It's really nice little niche community here in humboldt. You see the same fighters year after year, and there's no (mostly) grudges. The dudes just hang out, and talk about their workout routines, how they train, or just thier personal lives. A lot of the guys are friends outside of the fights.
    Me, being the bumbling idiot that I am, I just joins for laughs. I know full well I'll never win money or recognition.
    I just got second place through dumb luck--but that's not what you asked. ;)
    WTF is a sanctioned casino brawler?

    In my town, we have a bunch of surrounding casinos. Once in a while (about two times a year) we have a Canadian competition come into town. "So You Wanna Fight" (look it up) comes around asking for a bunch of local fighters to fight for prize money. There's two sections, divided by weight class.
    MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) for those that are semi-trained in something other than throwing fists, and a boxing division for the rest. I do boxing, as I'm a complete pussy and don't like being held down and having my face punched in.

    They accept damn near anyone (explaining why I've been allowed in TWICE).
    I'm actually a terrible fighter, as evident by my first match which follows:



    I get boo'd off the stage for turning my back too much, and the ref breaks it up.
    That guy was almost as untrained as me, but this most recent match had me up against a very talented boxer which resulted in me getting dropped in 23 seconds.

    -edit- that first match was over three years ago
  • LouisCypherLouisCypher Regular
    edited April 2011
    That was pretty funny man, thanks for posting up the video. Kind of reminds me of watching those old celebrity boxing matches.
  • Gary OakGary Oak Regular
    edited April 2011
    I thought you had a vagina. . .
  • PacinoPacino Regular
    edited April 2011
    id love to throw my poo at you
  • BoxBox Regular
    edited April 2011
    You're the one with the red hair?

    oh and i thought u were a gurl
  • BigHarryDickBigHarryDick Cock Bite
    edited April 2011
    trlolol

    whoever that is is a fucking disgrace to themselves and

    Boxing. Wtf is with the clown look?

    :mad:I'd love to shoot your face off with a 12 gauge.
  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited April 2011
    I love the moves man, Never seen someone so adept at blocking punches with their face before. Seriously you suck.

    What were you thinking? Why keep turning your back to him? You like surprises, and not being able to see where the punches are coming from? Or just used to getting beaten then raped in the ass?
  • BoxBox Regular
    edited April 2011
    buddha wrote: »
    I love the moves man, Never seen someone so adept at blocking punches with their face before. Seriously you suck.

    What were you thinking? Why keep turning your back to him? You like surprises, and not being able to see where the punches are coming from? Or just used to getting beaten then raped in the ass?

    Thanks a lot faggot.

    I just spilled Inca Cola all over my fucking iPhone and headset from laughing.

    :hai: --> :mad: --> :angry: -->:facepalm: -->:)
  • duuudeduuude Regular
    edited April 2011
    buddha wrote: »
    I love the moves man, Never seen someone so adept at blocking punches with their face before.

    lulz
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited April 2011
    I did boxing, as I have absolutely no experience. It's really nice little niche community here in humboldt. You see the same fighters year after year, and there's no (mostly) grudges. The dudes just hang out, and talk about their workout routines, how they train, or just thier personal lives. A lot of the guys are friends outside of the fights.
    Me, being the bumbling idiot that I am, I just joins for laughs. I know full well I'll never win money or recognition.
    I just got second place through dumb luck--but that's not what you asked. ;)



    In my town, we have a bunch of surrounding casinos. Once in a while (about two times a year) we have a Canadian competition come into town. "So You Wanna Fight" (look it up) comes around asking for a bunch of local fighters to fight for prize money. There's two sections, divided by weight class.
    MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) for those that are semi-trained in something other than throwing fists, and a boxing division for the rest. I do boxing, as I'm a complete pussy and don't like being held down and having my face punched in.

    They accept damn near anyone (explaining why I've been allowed in TWICE).
    I'm actually a terrible fighter, as evident by my first match which follows:



    I get boo'd off the stage for turning my back too much, and the ref breaks it up.
    That guy was almost as untrained as me, but this most recent match had me up against a very talented boxer which resulted in me getting dropped in 23 seconds.

    -edit- that first match was over three years ago

    Thanks for the detailed explanation and, for being honest, and for not being a phony internet tuff guy. :thumbsup:
  • My Mom Is DeadMy Mom Is Dead Regular
    edited April 2011
    Gary Oak wrote: »
    I thought you had a vagina. . .
    I lie about my gender a lot. This being the internet, it's just fun to fuck with people.
    Pacino wrote: »
    id love to throw my poo at you
    I'd be grossed out, but probably able to lol at my own expense even in that scenario.
    Box wrote: »
    You're the one with the red hair?
    Pink hair. ;)
    trlolol
    Real as it gets, broski.
    Wtf is with the clown look?
    Some people dress like idiots. Some people fight like idiots.
    I wanted the whole shebang.
    :mad:I'd love to shoot your face off with a 12 gauge.
    why-so-serious-the-joker-3122768-1024-768.jpg
    buddha wrote: »
    I love the moves man, Never seen someone so adept at blocking punches with their face before.
    Thanks for the support, man. Would you believe that's purely natural talent up there? I have honestly never trained a day in my life. :thumbsup:
    Thanks for the detailed explanation and, for being honest, and for not being a phony internet tuff guy. :thumbsup:
    No problem. I did it all for the lulz to begin with, so covering up the facts would be counter-productive. :hai:
  • My Mom Is DeadMy Mom Is Dead Regular
    edited April 2011
    They've uploaded a bunch of pics now.
    http://www.hatchphotosports.com/Sports/Fight-Sports/040211SYWF/16477324_beCBY#1239956351_cpCgQ

    1-2.jpg
    2-1.jpg
    3-1.jpg
    4-2.jpg
    5.jpg

    My slick pompadour gradually becomes more and more similar to a drunken Gary Busey's mane. :cool:

    gary-busey.jpg


    balls.jpg
  • MooseKnuckleMooseKnuckle Regular
    edited April 2011
    you win any money?
  • My Mom Is DeadMy Mom Is Dead Regular
    edited April 2011
    Only first place wins money, and the money is based on how many people are in your division.
    1-3=250$
    4-8=500$
    8+=1000$
  • PacinoPacino Regular
    edited April 2011
    Are your moms ashes still for sale
  • My Mom Is DeadMy Mom Is Dead Regular
    edited April 2011
    Yeah, I just havn't found the death certificate yet, so I havn't got around to bumping that sale thread.
  • PacinoPacino Regular
    edited April 2011
  • duuudeduuude Regular
    edited April 2011
    Seriously: Is getting your ass whooped fun?? Seems like you enjoy it.
  • My Mom Is DeadMy Mom Is Dead Regular
    edited April 2011
    Nah, it sucks about exactly as much as you would think it does.
    I don't do it out of wanting to get my ass kicked, I do it because I like having a good story to tell my friends and family.
    Ultimate goal is to be an old man, telling the new generations of family all the absolutely retarded shit I've done, and them calling bullshit.

    This is a longterm trolling investment.
    A couple of bruises here and there, if only to tell a future grandson he's a pussy compared to me and my casino-fighting history? Fuck-yeah, totally worth it.
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