Holy shit, look what I found. — Totseans

Holy shit, look what I found.

buddhabuddha Regular
edited April 2011 in Man Cave
So the JollyRoger dude posting made me go and look for a few things.

Check this out.
Fun things to do to an asshole's car---By Delta Burke

1) Get inside the car and run a jumper wire from the brake switch to the
horn, positive side. Use heavy guage wire(12 or better) with crimp hoop
type connectors to insure a good connection. This trick will result in
the horn honking everytime they step on the brakes.

2) An easy one: Take the distributor cap off and either remove the rotor or
pull it off and replace it in another position. Results in the car either
not running or running like shit...

3) Get under the hood and re-arrange the spark plug wires. Provides many
hours of amusment.

4) Loosen the slack bolt on the bracket that tightens the belt for the
alternator. Move the bracket inwards an inch or two, then re-tighten the
bolt. This will result in a late dead battery.

5) Place small rocks in the wheel covers of all four tires. Remember to use
VERY tiny ones and large ones will be noticed if they remove the covers.

6) A more dangerous trick: Loosen all the lug nuts or just take them off
and replace the wheel covers. Results are pretty obvious.

7) Another good one: Place very long nails, two per side, at a 45 degree
angle with the points in toward the tire.

8) Dangerous: Remove the retainer nut and bolt on the steering wheel. It is
usually covered by the horn, so it wont be very obvious until they try to
turn the car...

9) Very Cruel: Get under the car and back the oil pan plug out until it is
just hanging by the last thread or two. The vibrations will back it out
the rest of the way.

10) Also try the last trick with the transmission. Or better is the rear
axle. There is a drain plug for the gear oil on the bottom.

11) For the gas tank: Sugar, sand or water all work VERY well for an
effective trick.

12) Dead animals in the engine compartment, on or near the engine smell
just wonderful when the engine warms up. Also, a fresh road kill in the
spare tire space works VERY good.

13) On the same note, a live skunk in the car with the windows up almost
all the way(so it wont die) will provide hours of fun. Good luck in
catching that skunk.

14) Drill a series of very small holes in the exhaust line after the
muffler. Or better is drilling a hole or two in the muffler itself.

15) Dangerous: Take a razor blade to the brake lines.

Delta Burke 1991

Another file downloaded from:

! .
/_\ /-o-\ & the Temple of the Screaming Electron
(o..) | * Walnut Creek, California
+ |:| /^\ /~\
! |:|/\ _| |____|:| 2400/1200/300 baud 415-935-5845
/^\ / O |/...\ /_-_\ Jeff Hunter, Sysop
|@ \_| @ /:::::|/|- : -| \
| | | /~ |/| _ | - - - - - - - - - *
|____|/~ @ /~\ |/|_(_)_| Aaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! /

Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
insane speculation, and wild rumours. An ALL-TEXT BBS.

Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.

"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"

I love the old text files, they crack me the fuck up.


  • buddhabuddha Regular
    edited April 2011
    A long ass time ago. Shits pretty dated now.
  • tachosomozatachosomoza Regular
    edited April 2011
    |/ \|
    | Volume I of The Adventures in Fraud Series |
    | The Bible of Fraud |
    | By: |
    | Sneak Thief |
    | Smog City..213-926-7720 |
    | Thanx to: The Raider |
    | Copyright, (C) 1985 by Sneak Thief |
    |\ /|


    You ever wonder where that unemployed guy down the street got
    enough cash to start a 1200 baud board with 60 megs? Well, the
    answer, most likely, is Credit Fraud.

    Credit fraud involves getting a credit card number (a CC #), and
    then ordering things by phone. All you need is the card number
    and the experation date. And a few other nasties...

    Well, forget this basic stuff! Let's get into the good parts....

    Getting Your Card

    Always been meticulous about your appearence? Don't like to be
    dirty? Then the primary method of getting credit cards is not
    going to appeal to you.

    When a customer buys something at a store or restaurant (with a
    credit card, of course), several carbons are made. The store
    puts these into their files, and throws them away a week or so

    What's that? You say, "Why don't I go to the trash, and get
    these carbons?", do you? Well, you're correct; this is exactly
    what you do. Here are some tips:

    1) Go on the First of the month. (In a lot of stores, this is
    the 'clear the files day'.

    2) Go to the mall. That way, if one trash can is empty, you
    have a hundred or so more.

    3) Stay away from food stores. Sticking you're hand into last
    week's fried chicken is a price too high for a lousy credit

    4) For convienence, look for florists, video stores and the like.
    Video stores especially, since >every< transaction they make
    involves a credit card.

    Ok, that is just one of the ways which you can get you're card
    here are the other primary methods:


    CBI and TRW are Credit services which have Credit Cards,
    Addresses, names, and driver's licenses for most of the
    population of the United States. You can also use this system to
    find out the credit card mend calling through a PBX, then XXXXX
    (insert you're favorite phone service here).


    You could also get them off the credit fraud board on you're
    local elite BBS. Not a good idea, since most cards up there have
    about 1,000 dollars worth of porno tapes on them.

    Better yet, you can ask a friend. This will probaly work, but
    sometimes people give a card that they have used, or used but
    messed up with. Oh, the death of friendship!

    Ok, you've got your card? Good.


    You've got to order your merchandise. To do this, call the
    orderline for the company, and talk to these people. If you're
    known as "The Human Carrier" by you're friends, or modems connect
    when you say "Hello", then forget it. These days they are
    getting mighty suspicous.

    They will ask you what card you want to use. Master Cards have a
    5 as the first digit of the first cluster, Visas have a 4.

    If you're card is of a female, talk in a low breathy voice--very
    softly. Just say, "I'm sorry... I have this awful sore

    The first rule is be polite. Don't sound nervous. If the lady
    asks you for the driver's license, and you don't have it, make
    one up, then before you hang up, say "I'm sorry, I'm going to
    have to cancel this order...my husband told me that he had
    already gotten the XXXXX (the item you were trying to order)"
    Try to order from a pay phone, and when they ask for a phone
    number, give them the pay phone's number. Or scan for a number
    that will ring, and ring... A board that is down is a good bet.

    Now, you may ask, what address do I give the salesman?

    The Address

    The pick up is one of the most crucial part of the entire part.
    Here is what I think the ultimate address should be:

    1) Abandoned.
    2) Isolated (No little old ladies calling the police or spraying
    you with hoses).
    3) About a mile or so away from your house.

    Number one could also have a friend of yours who will sign for
    the package, then when the feds come deny it ever arrived. This
    is unlikely.

    Number two is obvious. I have been yelled at by numerous old
    people, and people that don't speak English. Not fun.

    The mile away from you're house is obvious. Don't want people
    that know you to be witnesses.

    Also, you can order to an occupied house. Send them a note by
    mail, telling them about a "computer glitch that sent some of
    our mechandise to you're address, and we will send a sales
    representative (or his son) to come pick it up." Spice this up,
    by apologizing for any hassles, and giving a fake name for the
    "sales represenative". Then, when you go, just give them a
    little note authorizing you to be there with an impressive

    When you pick up the package, be calm. Talk to the people no
    longer than necessary, but don't run away or anything. Wear a
    hat, but don't wear a ski mask and sunglasses. Look normal, yet
    try and conceal as much of you're looks as possible.

    If you do this right, you will look like a normal person, and
    the people will forget about you in the month or so it takes the
    credit agency to do anything about the fraud.

    Advanced Fraud

    To order more advanced, (ie: from Northwestern, or things that
    cost alot of money), you will need the following (usually):

    The Driver's License Number
    The Bank or Interbank Number (For MasterCard)
    The Billing Addresss

    Sometimes this will be written on the carbon. But the best way
    is just to use TRW...if you have a password for it.


    Reading an issue of U.S News and World Report (June 3, 1985)
    yesterday, I found an article on Phreaking, Fraud, and BBS's.
    Very interesting.

    Said something about mailboxing, which is going through a company
    mailbox looking for let's say bills and the like which would
    hacve a credit number on it. Sounds interesting. Go on a
    Saturday, and look in the mailboxes. The last few days of a
    month would be a good idea, since maybe you could get lucky and
    snipe their Visa satetement. That just goes to show that reading
    does have >some< value.

    Look for cards like this one:

    5024 0000 6184 3847

    The second cluster means it's a "preferred" card, and you can
    order more stuff with it. Some cards only have 13 digits (i.e:
    5024 000 618 787).

    If you think you have ordered the limit of you're card, verify
    it. You do this by calling a dial up (usually 800), giving them
    a merchant number, the card number, the name on the card, the
    experation date, and the amount to be spent. They will tell you
    it the card has enough money for the purchase. Get a dial up and
    merchant number by going to the Department Store. They are
    usually written on the phones.

    For MasterCard, the Interbank number is right below the name on
    the carbon. Visa cards contain a bank number in one of the

    Don't order from Northwestern. There prices are not worth all of
    the questions you have to answer.

    Order from Conroy-LaPointe at 800/547-1289, they are quite


    There are no old carders. You quit, or you get caught. Plan
    what you want to get, and don't try and rush your frauds.

    The first rule of fraud is, "Greed Kills." I think being
    arrested by the feds and having to face my parents and lose my
    computer about the same as death. But what is life without a
    little risk?

    Try to sell most of the things you card. If there is no stolen
    (carded) stuff in you're house, they might go easier on you.

    By the way, I am in no way responsible for any use made of
    the information in this file. It is for infromational purposes
    only. And if you believe that, please leave me mail on Smog
    City about a business opportunity. I have this bridge...

    That's about it for now. Look for Volume II in The Adverntures
    in Fraud Series.

    < Volume I In the Adventures in Fraud Series >
    < Copyright (C) 1985 >
    < By: Sneak Thief >
    < A Smog City Crew File >
    < Thanks to: The Raider, Grandmaster DST, The Mugger, and >
    < Simon Templar for telling me things I didn't know before >
    < Smog City....213-926-7720 >

    Now that you've finished the file, call Smog City...It's a great

    Permission is given to put this file anywhere, as long as the
    credits are intact.

    June 6, 1985 - Sneak Thief of the Smog City Crew

    The End

    Old as dirrrrrrt.
  • edited April 2011
    That guide is older than me, lol. While the fundamentals of the way cards work is the same, fraud techniques have come a hundred light-years in 26 years, obviously.
  • MooseKnuckleMooseKnuckle Regular
    edited April 2011
    ^ distance which takes time :o
  • edited April 2011
    That's what I meant.
  • OutbackOutback Acolyte
    edited April 2011
    ^ distance which takes time :o

    Oh dear god!

    Time relative to who, the person traveling at "light years" or an outside observer? What medium is the light passing through, it makes an enormous difference as to how long it wold take light to travel a Light year?

    Light years is a measure of distance, not time. You never hear anyone saying "wow, that would take about a mile an hour to arrive"
  • MrFriendlyFaceMrFriendlyFace Regular
    edited April 2011
    While we're kicking it old school....
    Bananas courtesy of the Jolly Roger

    Believe it or not, bananas do contain a small quantity of
    _Musa Sapientum bananadine_, which is a mild, short-lasting
    psychedelic. There are much easier ways of getting high, but
    the great advantage to this method is that bananas are legal.

    1) Obtain 15 lbs. of ripe yellow bananas.
    2) Peel all 15 lbs. and eat the fruit. Save the peels.
    3) With a sharp knife, scrape off the insides of the peels and
    save the scraped material.
    4) Put all of the scraped material in a large pot and add
    water. Boil for three to four hours until it has attained a
    solid paste consistency.
    5) Spread this paste on cookie sheets, and dry in an over for
    about 20 minutes to a half hour. This will result in a fine
    black powder. Makes about one pound of bananadine powder.
    Ususally one will feel the effects of bananadine after smoking
    three or four cigarettes.

    Table of Weights

    Pounds Ounces Grams Kilos
    1 16 453.6 0.4536
    0.0625 1 28.35 0.0283
    0.0352 1 0.001
    2.205 35.27 1,000 1

    (from the Anarchist's Cookbook typed by Jolly Roger)
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited April 2011
    I don't think it's the original Jolly Roger posting these, rather a person who is a fan of their work. Unless, of course, the old-school bunch have regrouped :cool:
  • tachosomozatachosomoza Regular
    edited April 2011

    New Economic Policy
    By the Stainless Steal Rat.
    TAP # 80 12-82

    Tired of all that bullshit the government has been giving about how to reduce
    inflation? Well here is the real way to cut your bills:

    I. Super-Markets

    The next time you visit your local rippoff center that claims to have the
    lowest prices in town, you can make sure that they keep that promise.
    When you catch an employee loafing on the job borrow (permanently) his or her
    little price tag gun. After several minutes of examination and trial you can
    stamp your own prices just like the pro. Need I go further? Of couse. Just
    for good relations take all those funny little rolls of stickers that are used
    to show when there is a special and all the blank rolls for the tag gun. Beware
    Make sure that the product you stamp with your gun is the same as the tag is.
    Some tags are pre labled: Grocery, candy, milk, etc. Make sure the tag matches
    the item. Never remark items that are common. Many times the cashiers know
    the price. Also, with your "special" strikers be careful. Many times they are
    distributed by the manufacturer of the product. If you are in a hurry just
    take the price tag off the cheapest bargin brand and put it on the best quality
    brand. This can be tricky if not impossible becausee some places have price
    tags that are pre-cut, so they fall apart if you try that.

    II. Counter Espionage and other Tricks for all of you that shoplift (or are
    about to begin) here are some tips:
    -Stay away from large Malls and Shopping centers, it's like narc city. The
    Narcs like it there because they can bust little kids for shoplifting candy.
    -Keep your eyes open for mirrors, two way mirrors, cameras and nosey clerks.
    -If you are with a partner keep your mouth shut. They have hidden mics in
    those tall columns that seem to hold up the roof.
    -Avoid all large silvered objects. In on place I know, they put small
    cameras in large christmas balls (Merry Christmas Huh?)
    -Look for people that you always see in the same store and for people who
    walk around like zombies and pay more attention to the people in the store than
    the products.
    -Avoid all people with 2-way radios. They are most definitly no hams with
    their 2 meter.
    If you decide to shoplift (naughty you), remember all you have to do is
    remove the item from its package and take off all store marking and tags and
    they cannot prove the item is not yours. Use display models if possible, be-
    cause you can fiddle with them without suspicion. If you think the risk of
    getting caught is too great or you cannot get it because of its size (I know a
    guy who shoplifted a 20" crock pot) you can still get it at a greatly reduced
    price. Many places use felt tip markers or pens to show reductions. When a
    store has a closout, merely bring along a pen and mark your own prices.


    It'll be funny if some of our kids stumble across this shit in 2045 and try it out. :hai:

    1982 text file. Damn.
  • jimdil4stjimdil4st New Arrival
    edited April 2011
    Outback wrote: »
    Oh dear god!

    Time relative to who, the person traveling at "light years" or an outside observer? What medium is the light passing through, it makes an enormous difference as to how long it wold take light to travel a Light year?

    Light years is a measure of distance, not time. You never hear anyone saying "wow, that would take about a mile an hour to arrive"

    Thats not a measure of distance, its a measure of speed.:facepalm:

    I would be " wow, that would take a mile to arrive."
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