Fuck cooking for a living. — Totseans

Fuck cooking for a living.

edited August 2011 in Spurious Generalities
I define myself as a cook, it is an aspect of my life that saturates my day to day existence. I am C/O the cook, and I introduce myself to people as such: "Hi, nice to meet you, I'm C/O, I cook at....". It defines me as a person more than any other aspect of my life, the drugs and booze have always been secondary, after all, its the cooking that pays for the drugs and booze. I love the trade, and all the crap that comes with it.

I love those glorious moments when the kitchen is utter havoc but I am on the soap bubble staying one step ahead of all the shit and producing food of good quality at a rate that blows peoples minds. I am good, I am damn good, I have pwned many a young cook who thought I couldn't handle their "fast" kitchen, having the shit in the window with timing that is impeccable. I help those around me when they are in the shit, I keep it clean,I can work a 15 hour day without fading, and I can toss my last empty beer over my shoulder before walking in the back door and still be better than the asshole next to me. I fucking rock.

But I am also done, overdone perhaps. 22 years is a long time to be at any one thing, and I'm not counting the dishwashing years. I love my craft, but I have run up against a brick wall that allows no further progress career wise. I have seen this coming for a while and tried to avoid it, but recent developments have put a cold hard nail in the hand that once used a knife so well.

About two years ago I decided I need my "red seal", this is the qualification given to a journeyman in any given trade, be it cook, welder, or carpenter. I never got mine because I was doing just fine without it, I moved around a lot and the jobs I applied for usually didn't require it, when they did a few good references and a few days on the job would usually show an employer I knew which side of the knife was sharp. This has changed over the last 10 years, and I found I was not welcome to apply for jobs I knew I was quite qualified for because I lacked certification. I finally decided to get the fucking papers and started a two year bullshit festival.

Let me make my opinion clear on this, I appreciate the trades program, it makes sure those given this certification are competent cooks. But I have dealt with recent graduates of several culinary institutes over the years, and while some are damn good, most lack the kind of versatility that only comes from long years of kitchen work.

So a big fuck you goes to the "B.C. Industry Training Authority" or as it was known for the first year and a half of my dealings "the B.C. trades and apprenticeship board" I will just say BCITA from now on , a governmental agency responsible for certifying tradesmen. At about 1600 odd hours a year, for 17 years(I am knocking off 5 years for unemployed periods and a few breaks I took from the trade) I have about 28000 hours of cooking experience. The BCITA requires 8000 hours of practical experience to challenge the red seal exam. No problem right?

So I get the forms, a nice five page heap, and start mailing copies off to former employers, the ones I am still on good terms with that is. And approaching all the local ones personally. After considerable beer buying, arm twisting, and massive phone expenses I finally get 5000 hours documented over 11 employers and the program allows me to swear an affidavit for the rest. I mail away the package and have watery guts for 2 solid months as I wait for a reply.

When it comes, I am so pissed off I could kick a sack of kittens down the street at top it off by raping a grade 2 schoolteacher in front of her class.
"Your application to challenge the Red Seal (cook) exam has been denied due to lack of relevant experience in the employment records submitted, blither blather, blither blather" When I sober up I realize I was doomed from the beginning.

The checklists involved were quite extensive, essentially they wanted to know that I had been employed not just as a cook, but a cook in an establishment where all or most of the skills learned in the red seal program were applicable. I have those skills, pieced together from knowledge from my whole career. But each individual employer only taught me, or used a few of them. And on paper it looks a lot worse than it is. I see someone feeding my stack of references into a computer, and a little red light going off, and a big DENIED stamp coming down.

Thus begins a year of bickering with the BCITA, not one fucking person I talked to was a cook, or a tradesman of any sort, just a bunch of faggot desk jockeys. Finally 6 months ago I found someone I could talk to that understood my predicament. He said he would do what he could do, and he phoned each and every one of my references to get the full story. He arranged for a phone interview with the guy that administers the practical part of the exam, and if he was happy I could take the exam.

The guy was an asshole, and grilled me for 20 minutes or so,but he said I could take the exam, and I was on my way to being a certified cook. Then things get really haywire, almost surreal. The whole BCITA is overhauled, out with the old people who made good money, in with the new folks who work for less. After finally reaching the new person in charge of my application to challenge, I am told my application will be reviewed.

Which brings me to about three weeks ago, when I was told again my experience was insufficient for a challenge. The ensuing drug binge was epic. And about a week ago at work I came to a revelation of sorts, and realized I was done. I put my apron and hat on the counter, changed back into my civilian clothes, told the boss I was quitting due to personal reasons, and left. Bye.

I was going to go back to foundry work(cooking with metal:thumbsup:), the only other thing I was particularly good at, but no one was hiring. Yesterday my roomate said his work was hiring, sheet metal, ducting, siding, that kind of shit. He told me once I started I would automatically be in a union, get benefits, pension, insurance, etc. It sounded good so I took it. I am no slacker when it comes to work and have done construction(concrete forms), and other labor jobs in the past. I will wake up on monday, at 5:15 am, have a cup of strong black tea and some pb&j on toast, then walk out the door and do what I can do. Wish me luck.

C/O
"fuck"

Comments

  • edited February 2011
    Fuck it, dude. Do what makes you happy.

    Metalwork is some good shit, I love working in a shop.
  • skunkskunk Regular
    edited February 2011
    God damn that blows, I hope you enjoy this new trade better.
  • IndulgenceIndulgence Regular
    edited February 2011
    Better to change what you're doing than to be one of those sorry fuckers working a job they hate until they retire.

    Good luck. :thumbsup:
  • edited February 2011
    Ya know what made me happy? Running a grow, that made me really, really, happy. 34 lights, yields up to 35lb every 4 months, unlimited indulgence on a beachfront propery, jet-skis, quads, vacations in mexico,kilos of coke that came in yellow wax wrapped packages with some funky colombian chick with a handfull of spears on it and was ungodly pure, burying money in the woods. Of course it all ended tragically. And I would never do it again. But for two years I was truly happy.

    Thanks for reading the post though, I kind of figured no-one would bother, I was just venting. And thanks for your support, I am going to give the new job hell, and I hope I can still rebound from being out of shape for so long.

    C/O
    "if anyone ever tells you money can't buy happiness, give them some, and punch them when they smile"
  • NegrophobeNegrophobe Regular
    edited February 2011
    A woman's place is in the kitchen.
  • edited February 2011
    Negrophobe wrote: »
    A woman's place is in the kitchen.

    So take off your shoes and make me some dinner, bitch.
  • NegrophobeNegrophobe Regular
    edited February 2011
    You're getting a bit lippy with your lord and master today; don't make me have to give you a smack in the chops, dear.
  • edited February 2011
    Negrophobe wrote: »
    You're getting a bit lippy with your lord and master today; don't make me have to give you a smack in the chops, dear.

    Please tell me you mean that.
    img0883k.jpg
  • jamie madroxjamie madrox Sith Lord
    edited February 2011
    Jesus Christ C/O you have been a cook longer than I've been alive.
  • StephenPBarrettStephenPBarrett Adviser
    edited February 2011
    You sir have been royally fucked. I've been a cook for 6 years now and very much enjoy my work and take pride in it. It seems like nobody else there even cares. I hope welding will make you happier and congratulate you on severing yourself from an industry that so easily traps the people who work in it. Good luck and bet wishes.
  • Gary OakGary Oak Regular
    edited February 2011
    Damn you got fucked. I'd do whatever makes you happy. I think you shouldn't quit cooking all together. Maybe a change of scenery is what you need. Move to America.
  • LouisCypherLouisCypher Regular
    edited February 2011
    Good luck C/O. I'll dedicate my next disfiguring burn to you.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited February 2011
    Shit, just make a dummy corp in the US, name a friend as the CEO, make it a restaurant, and get the docs you need that way. You can incorporate for around $100 - $300 depending on the state.
  • edited February 2011
    LOL, C/O will have to go back to shoving things up his ass to define himself.
  • JackedJacked Regular
    edited August 2011
    Fark! That's Shithouse! Brought back memories of my 2 years in a kitchen working for a cunt of a tightarse rat looking boss. Least you lasted this long, I put my apron Down After only 2 years thanks to that blood sucking tick who took al my passion for cooking due to his tight arse. Anyway hope u can work something out , and would u mind making a thread about ur grow story? Seemed interesting as.
  • BigHarryDickBigHarryDick Cock Bite
    edited August 2011
    Yeah cooks always get the shit end of the deal. Go back to the grow house where the real work and money

    come to play. Fuck the rules.
  • edited August 2011
    What an odd necro. Interesting to read what I wrote, sure felt right then. I am neck deep in kitchen again, but now that I'm actually getting somewhere It's not so bad.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited August 2011
    So what ever became of the test challenge?
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