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This is a collection of 14 Bizarro Fiction eBooks in both epub and pdf formats.
What Is Bizarro?
1. Bizarro, simply put, is the genre of the weird.
2. Bizarro is literature's equivalent to the cult section at the video store.
3. Like cult movies, Bizarro is sometimes surreal, sometimes avant-garde, sometimes goofy, sometimes bloody, sometimes borderline pornographic, and almost always completely out there.
4. Bizarro strives not only to be strange, but fascinating, thought-provoking, and, above all, fun to read.
5. Bizarro often contains a certain cartoon logic that, when applied to the real world, creates an unstable universe where the bizarre becomes the norm and absurdities are made flesh.
6. Bizarro was created by a group of small press publishers in response to the increasing demand for (good) weird fiction and the increasing number of authors who specialize in it.
7. Bizarro is like:
* Franz Kafka meets John Waters
* Dr. Suess of the post-apocalypse
* Takashi Miike meets William S. Burroughs
* Alice in Wonderland for adults
* Japanese animation directed by David Lynch
Bizarro isn't just weird fiction, it is DAMN GOOD weird fiction. And it grows exponentially every single day, so, love it or hate it, you'll be seeing a lot more of it in the years to come.
Books In This Collection:
The Bizarro Starter Kit (blue) by Various Authors
The Bizarro Starter Kit (orange) by Various Authors
Satan Burger by Carlton Mellick III
God hates you. All of you. He closed the gates of Heaven and wants you to rot on Earth forever. Not only that, he is repossessing your souls and feeding them to a large vagina-shaped machine called the Walm--an interdimensional doorway that brings His New Children into the world. He loves these new children, but He doesn't love you. They are more interesting than you. They are beautiful, psychotic, magical, sex-crazed, and deadly. They are turning your cities into apocalyptic chaos, and there's nothing you can do about it ...
The Haunted Vagina by Carlton Mellick III
Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy's pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees.
When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return... especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy's legs.
Sausagey Santa by Carlton Mellick III
Santa isn't the jolly old elf he's been described as in Children's stories. He's a bit more grotesque than that. His eyes are pimento-stuffed olives, his teeth are walnuts, and his body is made of sausages.
One snowy Christmas Eve, while visiting the Fry family, Sausagey Santa is attacked by an evil force that is driven to destroy Christmas forever. It is an anti-Christmas spirit that loathes everything having to do with children and Jesus. After it steals his magic bag of presents, Santa calls upon Matthew Fry and his wife, Decapitron (a brutish warrior woman with a strange Christmas fetish and a candy cane sword), to help get it back and save Christmas for everyone.
It's the greatest sausage-spewing, elf-raping, zombie-killing, Transformer-fucking, reindeer-exploding, snowman-battling, adventure-rocking, bizarro Christmas story OF ALL TIME!!!
Warslut by Carlton Mellick III
Five exhausted soldiers are sitting in the middle of a frozen Arctic wasteland, waiting for something to happen. They don't know why they are there or what they are supposed to be doing. Their superior officers have stopped giving them orders, their food supply is running low, and they are unsure whether or not their enemy actually exists at all. Once they lose their war slut (a transmorphing sex cyborg), the soldiers leave the safety of their camp in order to get it back. Only what they find out in the dark icy landscape is something far beyond what they ever could have imagined.
Eyeheart Everything by Mykle Hansen
Eyeheart Everything is a collection of short stories and humor pieces by Portland writer and performer Mykle Hansen. Somewhere between the laughtrack of Mark Leyner's work and European surrealism, Hansen's stories shock, titillate, and bombard the reader with dark shards of comedy.
Help a Bear is Eating Me by Mykle Hansen
Trapped in a remote Alaskan forest, pinned under his own SUV, gnawed upon by nature's finest predators, Marv Pushkin -- Corporate Warrior, Positive Thinker, Esquire subscriber -- waits impatiently for an ambulance and explains in detail the many reasons why this unfolding tragedy is everyone's fault but his own.
Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on The Crazy Shitting Planet of the Vomit Atmosphere: Three Novels by Mykle Hansen
With the wit of Christopher Moore, the inventiveness of Terry Gilliam and the rudeness of South Park, comes the Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on the Crazy Shitting Planet of the Vomit Atmosphere, an award-winning collection of three short novels by a master of satire. Hansen's surreal fiction is ridiculously fun to read. His subversive tales capture the smugness of mainstream culture, as he thrusts his characters into absurd and humorous situations that reveal the defects in the modern social fabric. A must read for fans of weird humor.
Shatnerquake by Jeff Burk
William Shatner? William Shatner. WILLIAM SHATNER!!! It's the first ShatnerCon with William Shatner as the guest of honor! But after a failed terrorist attack by Campbellians, a crazy terrorist cult that worships Bruce Campbell, all of the characters ever played by William Shatner are suddenly sucked into our world. Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner.
Featuring: Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, Denny Crane, Rescue 911 Shatner, Singer Shatner, Shakespearean Shatner, Twilight Zone Shatner, Cartoon Kirk, Esperanto Shatner, Priceline Shatner, SNL Shatner, and - of course - William Shatner!
Super Fetus by Adam Pepper
He's a fetus growing in the womb of a whiny white trash whore of a mother. His problem: she wants to have him aborted. But what this bitch doesn't know is that she isn't pregnant with some mild-mannered developing human form. Heck no. This is Super Fetus. He has an attitude and he is determined to be born, whether she likes it or not. Doing push-ups in the womb day and night, until he becomes amazingly buff, this little fetus is prepared to fight off the onslaught of vacuums, tongs, coat hangers, and scalpels. Once that sonofabitch doctor comes for him... he'll be ready.
The Ass Goblins of Auschwitz by Cameron Pierce
It's Monty Python meets Nazi exploitation in a surreal nightmare as can only be imagined by Bizarro author Cameron Pierce.
In a land where black snow falls in the shape of swastikas, there exists a nightmarish prison camp known as Auschwitz. It is run by a fascist, flatulent race of aliens called the Ass Goblins, who travel in apple-shaped spaceships to abduct children from the neighboring world of Kidland. Prisoners 999 and 1001 are conjoined twin brothers forced to endure the sadistic tortures of these ass-shaped monsters. To survive, they must eat kid skin and work all day constructing bicycles and sex dolls out of dead children.
While the Ass Goblins become drunk on cider made from fermented children, the twins plot their escape. But it won't be easy. They must overcome toilet toads, cockrats, ass dolls, and the surgical experiments that are slowly mutating them into goblin-child hybrids.
Forget everything you know about Auschwitz...you're about to be Shit Slaughtered.
The Vagina Ass of Lucifer Niggerbastard by Shawn Wunjo
Fired from his job at the Analsausage Fuck Factory, Lucifer Niggerbastard sets off on an epic quest with his compatriots, a burbling sack of babyshit and Rojir the razor-bladed dildo. Written based off an outline of the events of Virgil’s Aeneid scribbled on the back of a cocktail napkin by a drunk, The Vagina Ass of Lucifer Niggerbastard is an epic tale told in a bizarro-author’s take on the ancient Homeric masters. Hey, all writers are thieves. It’s just illegal if the dead author you steal from hasn’t rotted enough yet. Actually, this book is pretty much nothing like the Aeneid. It’s more like the Odyssey, only more fucked up, more epic, and definitely more interesting to read. Is it a commentary on how fucked up things are yet again? Maybe. Probably. Yes. If you don’t have a sense of humor or “bad words” get your ass in a twist, don’t read this fucking book.
Note: This book is largely considered to be pure garbage in the bizarro community, likely written by someone who thought bizarro = swearing and racial epithets. Still, I'm including it in the collection.
Zerostrata by Andersen Prunty
After ten years, Hansel Nothing returns to his boyhood home, unable to remember anything that has happened to him since he left. Back home, he stays in Zerostrata, a treehouse in the backyard. The Nothing family is as dysfunctional and depressed as ever. His mother keeps a cat on her head and incessantly munches prescription medication. His father has left the house to pursue a career as a superhero. His brother wants to be the dad's superhero sidekick and thinks he can fly.
Hansel's life is changed forever when he meets Gretel, a free-spirited woman who runs naked through the woods every night. She teaches him about a world of magic and beauty. They travel to the moon together via a rope ladder, sail back to earth in an air balloon, and wander through a graveyard that allows them to view the dreams of the dead all while trying to escape Gretel's evil Grandmother.
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5S7LXWNS
File name: Bizarro Collection.rar
File description: enjoy-tds-totse
File size: 42.87 MB
What Is Bizarro?
1. Bizarro, simply put, is the genre of the weird.
2. Bizarro is literature's equivalent to the cult section at the video store.
3. Like cult movies, Bizarro is sometimes surreal, sometimes avant-garde, sometimes goofy, sometimes bloody, sometimes borderline pornographic, and almost always completely out there.
4. Bizarro strives not only to be strange, but fascinating, thought-provoking, and, above all, fun to read.
5. Bizarro often contains a certain cartoon logic that, when applied to the real world, creates an unstable universe where the bizarre becomes the norm and absurdities are made flesh.
6. Bizarro was created by a group of small press publishers in response to the increasing demand for (good) weird fiction and the increasing number of authors who specialize in it.
7. Bizarro is like:
* Franz Kafka meets John Waters
* Dr. Suess of the post-apocalypse
* Takashi Miike meets William S. Burroughs
* Alice in Wonderland for adults
* Japanese animation directed by David Lynch
Bizarro isn't just weird fiction, it is DAMN GOOD weird fiction. And it grows exponentially every single day, so, love it or hate it, you'll be seeing a lot more of it in the years to come.
Books In This Collection:
The Bizarro Starter Kit (blue) by Various Authors
The Bizarro Starter Kit (orange) by Various Authors
Satan Burger by Carlton Mellick III
God hates you. All of you. He closed the gates of Heaven and wants you to rot on Earth forever. Not only that, he is repossessing your souls and feeding them to a large vagina-shaped machine called the Walm--an interdimensional doorway that brings His New Children into the world. He loves these new children, but He doesn't love you. They are more interesting than you. They are beautiful, psychotic, magical, sex-crazed, and deadly. They are turning your cities into apocalyptic chaos, and there's nothing you can do about it ...
The Haunted Vagina by Carlton Mellick III
Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy's pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees.
When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return... especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy's legs.
Sausagey Santa by Carlton Mellick III
Santa isn't the jolly old elf he's been described as in Children's stories. He's a bit more grotesque than that. His eyes are pimento-stuffed olives, his teeth are walnuts, and his body is made of sausages.
One snowy Christmas Eve, while visiting the Fry family, Sausagey Santa is attacked by an evil force that is driven to destroy Christmas forever. It is an anti-Christmas spirit that loathes everything having to do with children and Jesus. After it steals his magic bag of presents, Santa calls upon Matthew Fry and his wife, Decapitron (a brutish warrior woman with a strange Christmas fetish and a candy cane sword), to help get it back and save Christmas for everyone.
It's the greatest sausage-spewing, elf-raping, zombie-killing, Transformer-fucking, reindeer-exploding, snowman-battling, adventure-rocking, bizarro Christmas story OF ALL TIME!!!
Warslut by Carlton Mellick III
Five exhausted soldiers are sitting in the middle of a frozen Arctic wasteland, waiting for something to happen. They don't know why they are there or what they are supposed to be doing. Their superior officers have stopped giving them orders, their food supply is running low, and they are unsure whether or not their enemy actually exists at all. Once they lose their war slut (a transmorphing sex cyborg), the soldiers leave the safety of their camp in order to get it back. Only what they find out in the dark icy landscape is something far beyond what they ever could have imagined.
Eyeheart Everything by Mykle Hansen
Eyeheart Everything is a collection of short stories and humor pieces by Portland writer and performer Mykle Hansen. Somewhere between the laughtrack of Mark Leyner's work and European surrealism, Hansen's stories shock, titillate, and bombard the reader with dark shards of comedy.
Help a Bear is Eating Me by Mykle Hansen
Trapped in a remote Alaskan forest, pinned under his own SUV, gnawed upon by nature's finest predators, Marv Pushkin -- Corporate Warrior, Positive Thinker, Esquire subscriber -- waits impatiently for an ambulance and explains in detail the many reasons why this unfolding tragedy is everyone's fault but his own.
Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on The Crazy Shitting Planet of the Vomit Atmosphere: Three Novels by Mykle Hansen
With the wit of Christopher Moore, the inventiveness of Terry Gilliam and the rudeness of South Park, comes the Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on the Crazy Shitting Planet of the Vomit Atmosphere, an award-winning collection of three short novels by a master of satire. Hansen's surreal fiction is ridiculously fun to read. His subversive tales capture the smugness of mainstream culture, as he thrusts his characters into absurd and humorous situations that reveal the defects in the modern social fabric. A must read for fans of weird humor.
Shatnerquake by Jeff Burk
William Shatner? William Shatner. WILLIAM SHATNER!!! It's the first ShatnerCon with William Shatner as the guest of honor! But after a failed terrorist attack by Campbellians, a crazy terrorist cult that worships Bruce Campbell, all of the characters ever played by William Shatner are suddenly sucked into our world. Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner.
Featuring: Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, Denny Crane, Rescue 911 Shatner, Singer Shatner, Shakespearean Shatner, Twilight Zone Shatner, Cartoon Kirk, Esperanto Shatner, Priceline Shatner, SNL Shatner, and - of course - William Shatner!
Super Fetus by Adam Pepper
He's a fetus growing in the womb of a whiny white trash whore of a mother. His problem: she wants to have him aborted. But what this bitch doesn't know is that she isn't pregnant with some mild-mannered developing human form. Heck no. This is Super Fetus. He has an attitude and he is determined to be born, whether she likes it or not. Doing push-ups in the womb day and night, until he becomes amazingly buff, this little fetus is prepared to fight off the onslaught of vacuums, tongs, coat hangers, and scalpels. Once that sonofabitch doctor comes for him... he'll be ready.
The Ass Goblins of Auschwitz by Cameron Pierce
It's Monty Python meets Nazi exploitation in a surreal nightmare as can only be imagined by Bizarro author Cameron Pierce.
In a land where black snow falls in the shape of swastikas, there exists a nightmarish prison camp known as Auschwitz. It is run by a fascist, flatulent race of aliens called the Ass Goblins, who travel in apple-shaped spaceships to abduct children from the neighboring world of Kidland. Prisoners 999 and 1001 are conjoined twin brothers forced to endure the sadistic tortures of these ass-shaped monsters. To survive, they must eat kid skin and work all day constructing bicycles and sex dolls out of dead children.
While the Ass Goblins become drunk on cider made from fermented children, the twins plot their escape. But it won't be easy. They must overcome toilet toads, cockrats, ass dolls, and the surgical experiments that are slowly mutating them into goblin-child hybrids.
Forget everything you know about Auschwitz...you're about to be Shit Slaughtered.
The Vagina Ass of Lucifer Niggerbastard by Shawn Wunjo
Fired from his job at the Analsausage Fuck Factory, Lucifer Niggerbastard sets off on an epic quest with his compatriots, a burbling sack of babyshit and Rojir the razor-bladed dildo. Written based off an outline of the events of Virgil’s Aeneid scribbled on the back of a cocktail napkin by a drunk, The Vagina Ass of Lucifer Niggerbastard is an epic tale told in a bizarro-author’s take on the ancient Homeric masters. Hey, all writers are thieves. It’s just illegal if the dead author you steal from hasn’t rotted enough yet. Actually, this book is pretty much nothing like the Aeneid. It’s more like the Odyssey, only more fucked up, more epic, and definitely more interesting to read. Is it a commentary on how fucked up things are yet again? Maybe. Probably. Yes. If you don’t have a sense of humor or “bad words” get your ass in a twist, don’t read this fucking book.
Note: This book is largely considered to be pure garbage in the bizarro community, likely written by someone who thought bizarro = swearing and racial epithets. Still, I'm including it in the collection.
Zerostrata by Andersen Prunty
After ten years, Hansel Nothing returns to his boyhood home, unable to remember anything that has happened to him since he left. Back home, he stays in Zerostrata, a treehouse in the backyard. The Nothing family is as dysfunctional and depressed as ever. His mother keeps a cat on her head and incessantly munches prescription medication. His father has left the house to pursue a career as a superhero. His brother wants to be the dad's superhero sidekick and thinks he can fly.
Hansel's life is changed forever when he meets Gretel, a free-spirited woman who runs naked through the woods every night. She teaches him about a world of magic and beauty. They travel to the moon together via a rope ladder, sail back to earth in an air balloon, and wander through a graveyard that allows them to view the dreams of the dead all while trying to escape Gretel's evil Grandmother.
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=5S7LXWNS
File name: Bizarro Collection.rar
File description: enjoy-tds-totse
File size: 42.87 MB
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