General Advice thread. — Totseans

General Advice thread.

chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
edited November 2011 in Spurious Generalities
Hang your clothes in the closet with all the hangers backwards.

When you have worn something and you replace it in the closet, re-hang it with the hanger the correct way.

At the end of the year, any clothes on hangers facing the wrong way, dispose of.
«1

Comments

  • chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
    edited October 2011
    When opening a banana, dont open it from the stem end. this can be messy. Simply flip it over and pinch the end and it will split open easily. There is a reason monkeys do it this way.
  • chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
    edited October 2011
    Did you know most aluminium foil and clingfilm boxes have push in tabs at each end to stop the roll popping out of the box during use?
  • chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
    edited October 2011
    When entering a lift. press the desired floor button and the close door button simultaneously, and the lift will go directly to your floor without stopping.
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    chippy wrote: »
    When entering a lift. press the desired floor button and the close door button simultaneously, and the lift will go directly to your floor without stopping.

    NO WAY?!? i don't believe you do you have a reference for this?
  • chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
    edited October 2011
    Hence my point. Generic advice usually amounts to common sense - you dont need to know if you've used the shirt; you need to be capable of assessing will I use this again and deciding if it should be ritually burnt in scarifice as the clothes of demi gods are.

    Obviously that bit of advice is of no use to you, so move on my friend and stop being a dick :)
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    Dont touch hot things ...
  • chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
    edited October 2011
    jehsiboi wrote: »
    NO WAY?!? i don't believe you do you have a reference for this?

    Just try it lol
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    How will i know though maybe ill get lucky and the next ten times i do it no one gets on the same lift as me on different floors ... then the 11th time BAM world crushed! and have to go back to stoping on other floors like a chump ...
  • chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
    edited October 2011
    jehsiboi wrote: »
    Dont touch hot things ...

    Now that is useful advice.
  • edited October 2011
    This thread is for very specific advice.

    If you have any specific advice please share it here.

    If you are trapped in an air conditioning duct in a high space and nobody is around and the ducting is working like a faraday cage to stop you making a phone call and because you are wearing a tool belt that got caught you are unable to slide closer to a vent - send a detailed sms and then slide the phone over to the vent as you hit send.
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    This thread is for very specific advice.

    If you have any specific advice please share it here.

    If you are trapped in an air conditioning duct in a high space and nobody is around and the ducting is working like a faraday cage to stop you making a phone call and because you are wearing a tool belt that got caught you are unable to slide closer to a vent - send a detailed sms and then slide the phone over to the vent as you hit send.

    you never know that might save my life one day ... thanks
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited October 2011
    Advice: When posting on totse.info be sure to do so for everyone's enjoyment and not just your own.
  • chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
    edited October 2011
    I've just been reminded of this one. When you lose your phone charger, go to the nearest large hotel and tell the desk you stopped here a while ago and think you left your phone charger. It's the most common thing left in hotel rooms. They will have a drawer full you can choose a free one from.
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited October 2011
    A) When you sleep for an extended period of time and drinking Tea, Coffee doesn't make you fresh and you still feel more sleepy, simply get a bottle of water, add salt and some sugar. Drink it up, after 10 minutes you will be fresh and ready to go. I learned this the hard way today and it totally works. The reason is simple, when you're sleeping you're burning calories and draining your body. You need to compensate for the loss. Especially if you're living in cold regions checking your fluid levels is important.

    B) If you're feeling frustated or just irritated, go out and take a walk or try doing some excercise, most likely the irritation will go away.

    C) Sitting long hours on the computer chair is extremely bad for you, like it or not YOU will get fat and will have a ring around your waist, the only thing you can do is excersie mmore and target that region or just avoid sitting or get a comfortable chair or manage your workflow.

    D) Learn to focus on the important things, you can live without wearing that expensive shirt but you will suffer with workflow if your system isn't performing the task within a reasonable time. I followed this advice and focused only on getting a system by sacrificing other things, like it or not this bit of advice worked for me.

    E) If you're having issues with coming up with ideas, try to visit your toilet and lie down on your bed or find a spot that worked for you in the past, don't focus on the ideas just let your mind roam free. Sooner or later you will get the break you wanted.
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited October 2011
    When jumping off the building, make sure to power your cell phone off, or leave it at the top. No point in destroying a working cellphone.

    When trying to jump in front the car, make sure you dive head first. This will make sure you get killed instantly.

    When jumping in front of an oncoming train, make sure you have a good run from the platform and the train has decent velocity, closing your eyes helps a bit.


    When trying to blow yourself up in a suicide mission, aim for dense populated areas. Cafe, schools etc
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    Molotov everything
  • chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
    edited October 2011
    Dfg wrote: »
    When jumping off the building, make sure to power your cell phone off, or leave it at the top. No point in destroying a working cellphone.

    When trying to jump in front the car, make sure you dive head first. This will make sure you get killed instantly.

    When jumping in front of an oncoming train, make sure you have a good run from the platform and the train has decent velocity, closing your eyes helps a bit.


    When trying to blow yourself up in a suicide mission, aim for dense populated areas. Cafe, schools etc

    Is this Asian specific advice?
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited October 2011
    chippy wrote: »
    Is this Asian specific advice?

    Generally speaking, yes. But if you want my advice you should generally give general advice so that when the other person takes it and it turns out bad you have plausible deniability.
  • HelladamnleetHelladamnleet Banned
    edited October 2011
    When you park your car you should always engage the parking brake. It sounds dumb, but think about this: the only thing keeping your car from moving is a pencil thin rod. The parking brake will actually lock your transaxel and put less stress on your transmission.
  • edited October 2011
    When you park your car you should always engage the parking brake. It sounds dumb, but think about this: the only thing keeping your car from moving is a pencil thin rod. The parking brake will actually lock your transaxel and put less stress on your transmission.

    Or you can do it
    and not lock your car in one place so people can park better.
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    ive said it before and ill say it again ... fuck i hate the french
  • HelladamnleetHelladamnleet Banned
    edited October 2011
    Or you can do it
    and not lock your car in one place so people can park better.

    :facepalm:
  • edited October 2011
    :facepalm:

    Its seriously a superior way to park. Paris is very flat, and very crowded.

    It makes good sense for the community to do things that way - and people can relax about little scuffs on their car.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited October 2011
    What about the damage that can cause to the drive train?
  • DaktologistDaktologist Global Moderator
    edited October 2011
    chippy wrote: »
    When entering a lift. press the desired floor button and the close door button simultaneously, and the lift will go directly to your floor without stopping.

    I tried this at uni and it didn't work.
  • edited October 2011
    What about the damage that can cause to the drive train?
    I dont think they even park in gear..... The vast majority of cars there a manuals also.
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    I tried this at uni and it didn't work.

    HA what else have you been lying to us about chippy? HUH?!?
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited October 2011
    Even with my manual transmission I still park in gear along with the Ebrake. Even at that it would not do my brakes or the resale value of my car any favors if some self centered shit pulled a stunt like that. That is he same as reaching in a strangers wallet and burning their money.
  • HelladamnleetHelladamnleet Banned
    edited October 2011
    Well, luckily I live in America where most parking spots are at least 1.5x the size of the car due to the obesity problem. Us skinny people never have to feel cramped.
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    General Advice : fuck bitches daily.
  • HelladamnleetHelladamnleet Banned
    edited October 2011
    General advice: TV, internet, et cetera always costs about twice the advertised price.
  • scotchscotch Semo-Regulars
    edited October 2011
    1. Never go above 55/mph if the roads are wet. You will hydroplane and lose imperative braking control. Yeah, it sucks to go 55 on a 75 highway, but it beats being in an accident.

    2. If you are in a leadership position (or kissing ass to get one), always treat your underlings and superiors politely. Always. It takes just once for you to become a dick. Think about it! Have you ever had a teacher be rude to you that one day in class, only to leave you hating him for the rest of the year? Even if he was nice to you every other day?

    3. There is a difference between being polite and being respectful. Politeness is how you should treat everyone, being respectful is how you treat someone whom you genuinely respect. I say "thanks" to the kid who sells me cigarettes; I hang on to every word that my writer friend tells me. People confuse the two and it's stupid.

    4. If you drive stick, do not shift down to slow down. That's what the brakes are for. Engage the brakes, then engage the clutch right as you are about to come to a complete stop. Then, shift down to first. If you must shift down to slow down like on a hill, engage the clutch, shift down, lift up the clutch an inch or two off the floor, push it all the way down again, then release it. You can avoid the unnecessary stress that you put on the engine. On that note, if you don't drive stick, learn!

    5. 95% of an assignment is getting it done on time.

    6. If you want to make friends faster, listen to them when they speak and ask follow up questions. Look them in their left eye. You'll notice a deeper connection.

    7. Shower daily, wash your hair every other day.

    8. If you're eating on a budget, make simple meals of meat and grains. It's actually cheaper than getting fast food or microwave dinners. If you can boil water and fry meat, you're set for life. Try lentils and eggs for breakfast, buckwheat for lunch, and steak (get the ones that are about to expire for cheap) and beans for dinner. You'll feel better and save more!

    9. Shop at thrift stores.
  • HelladamnleetHelladamnleet Banned
    edited October 2011
    scotch wrote: »
    1. Never go above 55/mph if the roads are wet. You will hydroplane and lose imperative braking control. Yeah, it sucks to go 55 on a 75 highway, but it beats being in an accident.

    2. If you are in a leadership position (or kissing ass to get one), always treat your underlings and superiors politely. Always. It takes just once for you to become a dick. Think about it! Have you ever had a teacher be rude to you that one day in class, only to leave you hating him for the rest of the year? Even if he was nice to you every other day?

    3. There is a difference between being polite and being respectful. Politeness is how you should treat everyone, being respectful is how you treat someone whom you genuinely respect. I say "thanks" to the kid who sells me cigarettes; I hang on to every word that my writer friend tells me. People confuse the two and it's stupid.

    4. If you drive stick, do not shift down to slow down. That's what the brakes are for. Engage the brakes, then engage the clutch right as you are about to come to a complete stop. Then, shift down to first. If you must shift down to slow down like on a hill, engage the clutch, shift down, lift up the clutch an inch or two off the floor, push it all the way down again, then release it. You can avoid the unnecessary stress that you put on the engine. On that note, if you don't drive stick, learn!

    5. 95% of an assignment is getting it done on time.

    6. If you want to make friends faster, listen to them when they speak and ask follow up questions. Look them in their left eye. You'll notice a deeper connection.

    7. Shower daily, wash your hair every other day.

    8. If you're eating on a budget, make simple meals of meat and grains. It's actually cheaper than getting fast food or microwave dinners. If you can boil water and fry meat, you're set for life. Try lentils and eggs for breakfast, buckwheat for lunch, and steak (get the ones that are about to expire for cheap) and beans for dinner. You'll feel better and save more!

    9. Shop at thrift stores.

    Pretty legitimate device.
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited October 2011
    ^Wow, thanks.

    If you're hooked to Tea, don't try to get away with it. Sooner or later you're going to crawl back.
  • BurnBurn Regular
    edited October 2011
    Always be polite (not respectful thanks scotch:D ) to people working in retail or at the front counters of places. They have shitty jobs, and you being an asshole doesn't make it any better. Plus, you can get benefits from this. I once forgot my student card whilst going to the movies, but they let me in for student price anyway. If I was being an asshole, that definitely wouldn't have happened.

    Also, don't go camping into the middle of nowhere with no survival skills. If you're stuck somewhere and never been hunting or fishing, it's a lot harder than it looks on the sports channel.
  • SpinsterSpinster Regular
    edited October 2011
    when eating out, avoid chicken or fish. these are the most common ways to get food poisoning.

    at McDonalds ask for your fries without salt, they will have to cook fresh ones for you! then ask for packs of salt when they bring you your order. I work at McDonalds and I we hate these people, but its our job so dont take any shit for it lol ps. dont do this when its really busy, first reason is we might just kill you, reason two, its busy so the fries will be fresh anyway!

    another McDonalds tip, ask for your meat without seasoning, we will cook you a fresh one (this also prevents food poisoning) same rules apply as the fries.
  • chippychippy <b style="color:pink;">Global Moderator</b>
    edited October 2011
    I tried this at uni and it didn't work.

    Must have been an American lift then.
  • ThirdRockFromTheSunThirdRockFromTheSun <b style="color:blue;">Third<em style="color:pink;">Cock</em>FromThe<em style="color:brown;">Bum</em
    edited October 2011
    http://dl.dropbox.com/u/28517064/1313116400399.jpg
    Here's a bunch of neat stuff :D

    Edit

    Turned it into a link, cause it's a big picture. (Don't worry, no cocks)
  • HelladamnleetHelladamnleet Banned
    edited October 2011
    ^^ Pretty tight.
  • fagfag Regular
    edited October 2011
    I was gonna suggest the hotel thing. I worked at one, and we had a huuuge bin full of forgotten chargers.

    Don't do business with blacks, Asians(unless they're Japanese), or white trash(unless they are in a biker gang).

    Avoid letting women know your source of income if you're involved in any illegal trade.

    Don't cut 'across the street'. You will fuck up tendons.

    Downtune your guitar to d standard(DGCFAD) and set the action low. You will be able to shred like a motherfucker.

    Don't cut 'down the road'. You will be left with obvious scars and people will judge you if they see them.

    Do psychedelics.

    When gambling, quit when you start winning, and move to a different table/slot machine.

    Do stuff that you think needs to happen in your life, despite how big you perceive the obstacles to be.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited October 2011
    When gambling if you can't win 3 bets in a row you are not going to win. So bet one unit on the first decision. If you win bet two units on the second decision. If you win again bet four units on the third decision. If you win go back to one unit and the next wager. If at anytime in this cycle you lose go back to one unit. This way you are betting with their money and getting built in odds even on an even money bet. It is all about the percentages.
  • LethargicaLethargica Regular
    edited October 2011
    Different strokes for different folks :^)
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited October 2011
    The thing is this Lethargica, I spent 10 years as a craps dealer in Las Vegas and this one of the very basic approaches that professional gamblers use. That is not to say you can not win using other approaches as luck will always play a key role in the outcome in a game of chance. But this approach will maximize your return should lady luck choose to smile upon you.
  • LethargicaLethargica Regular
    edited October 2011
    I was not referring to gambling..i was just saying my "general" advise :P..sorry i was a little unclear about that :X


    "dreams don't work unless you do"
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited October 2011
    When in need of a wank, try using Olive Oil if you don't have any other lube available but be careful, do not rub your dick too hard and fast. There is a chance that you might hurt your instrument if you keep the pace up. Adding more oil will make it easier but the pace should be kept in check. If you over do it, you won't see any real damage but when you use shampoo or soap it clean it up, you will feel intense pain due to minor bruises. Trust me, it's not worth it.
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited October 2011
    When in Pakistan, avoid eating things from stalls unless your stomach is trained for it.
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    Dfg wrote: »
    When in Pakistan, immediately report to an airport for evacuation.

    fixt
  • HelladamnleetHelladamnleet Banned
    edited October 2011
    Dfg wrote: »
    When in Pakistan, avoid eating things from stalls unless your stomach is trained for it.

    Same goes for pretty much any foreign country.

    On top of that, don't ever try anything authentic if it's your first time. Odds are you're going to be sick.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited October 2011
    If you are lacking in motivation, get a change of scenery/surroundings. Go for a walk, put on some music and escape. Procrastrination is a bitch.
  • jehsiboijehsiboi Kanga Rump Ranga
    edited October 2011
    general advice : fuck bitches Bidaily
Sign In or Register to comment.