So, that was rehab.
culinaryoverlord
Regular
Didn't like it. Not one bit. I made great personal progress, delved deep into many things I had locked away. Funny thing is, a great many of the things I had always attributed to myself, and my choices, are actually due to post traumatic stress disorder, stemming from my mothers suicide attempts, and being bullied in high school. I learned that even though I was willing to accept responsibility for my actions, I am powerless against my history, and it will always haunt me. My addictive behavior was a result of self medicating for this....
What a load of shit. Group therapy, and all it's millions of words can eat a dead dogs ass.
I will be present here again, I think. I am not so sure I dig the teamspeak, but time will tell.
C/O
"no, I do not blame my mother for my hatred of women any more than you should blame your mother for being and ugly bitch"
What a load of shit. Group therapy, and all it's millions of words can eat a dead dogs ass.
I will be present here again, I think. I am not so sure I dig the teamspeak, but time will tell.
C/O
"no, I do not blame my mother for my hatred of women any more than you should blame your mother for being and ugly bitch"
Comments
I can relate to the PSTD, I am going through a bunch of shit myself right now and trying to get help from the Veterans Administration. They diagnosed me with PSTD in late November and have not really done shit since. Welcome back CO, I always liked you even though we didn't always see eye to eye or get along. Good luck with trying to get your life where you want it to be. After 20 or 30 years of running in the wrong direction it is not easy to turn the whole show in a different direction.
If you don't mind me asking, and yes you can call me a retard for not knowing, but what were you self medicating with? If ever you want to have a chat to a younger perspective then I'm around. So glad you're back here and I hope for a long time coming.
Welcome home, Son.
Welcome back.
W/B, glad you think group therapy is a load of cock.
That seems very familiar, I think you said exactly the same thing when I was offline for a while the last time. +3 for consistency.
To be honest, I have trouble accepting the diagnosis. I did have a somewhat fucked up childhood, but it is nothing compared to what some friends of mine had. I was never raped, beaten, or abused. My mom was messed up, and I am a little whacked too, but it is not a result of trauma, it is an expression of our basic nature combined with a disposition to drug abuse. I know it is a real thing, and if you are dealing with it , I offer my support.
Short story; I got a good job, I got good insurance, I had consultations with a professional, 3 month rehab was offered, I declined, I was told I could do the rehab and come back to the same job or I could take 2 weeks severance and fuck off. I took the rehab,
Coke, and derivatives, booze, some excursions into other things. They put a lot of work into convincing me that things like benzo's and SSRI's were a better way to go than weed, but for immediate control of my moods, I still throw down with the green.
Not bad really, the place was pretty high end, healthy though. They restricted both sugar and portion size too. I was kind of surprised at how happy I was to be utterly unconcerned with food for a while, I just ate what was on the plate, and left. After a month I had a choice of a few different work options, and I decided on janitorial instead of kitchen, there is something very pleasant about whistling a Ramones song as you mop out a bathroom, and as it was one of the only times I got to be alone, I enjoyed it, as strange as that may sound.
Hah!, no, fuck I only ever used 20's and 40's, well within my means, but still a problem. I had been clean for 3 weeks before the ass clowns at the insurance company fucked me over by attempting to cancel my policy due to a 'pre existing condition'(habitual drug use), that I had not disclosed on my form, and set off the chain of events.
Group therapy was interesting, and I can understand how it could be useful, but I honestly don't think it did me much good.
C/O
"Clean, odd word, so many meanings"