Fucking Christians! — Totseans

Fucking Christians!

Hellz-FuryHellz-Fury Regular
edited November 2012 in Spurious Generalities
This post is half Moan and Groan because they will never leave you the fuck alone no matter what you say, but also pure fucking win. So I ain't too mad, spurious it is.

-

Right now I have a problem of Christians not leaving me the fuck alone and it is driving me insane. I noticed a chick I wanted to fuck back in the day and she liked me, but went and got hooked on heroin then disappeared. Now when I find her she has became one and I have infiltrated their ranks. It only took me a week to get her to come to my house alone, mind-fucked her using Psychology and teasing the shit out of her. (Most hilarious thing is she went to school to be a psychologist but because of her new-found "faith" she doesn't want to do that anymore.) She would do all kinds of sexual shit with me but wouldn't kiss me before sex, so then I mind fucked her into doing that and proceeded to bang her lights out once in my backyard and once in my basement.

The day after she goes on this rant -

Her
October 27

Hey I'm not trying to be mean but I cant spend time with you while your doing this stuff. If your sorry you need to say sorry to God not us. I want to be in your life but I cant keep falling in my walk with God so I can try and help you. You need to want it and start moving forward. I will see you at bible study and church I want you to go so bad but Im not going to make you. I just cant do it anymore. If you want to have a closer relationship Grab ahold of go and start moving froward. Show us you want it. Im sorry to have to step back and be so stern but I see myself falling bc I'm spending so much time with you and I will not walk away from god and trying to be a light for god for anyone.

Then yesterday I hang out with her and her bible belt friends, after doing so she drives me home only one friend is left. Used to be a faggot apparently and is claiming God is healing him of homosexuality, also he just ain't right in the head, seems retarded so she took advantage of the situation. She hops on the topic of sex which she asked us both about but was obviously aiming it at me specifically, which she later verified online.

Her
20 hours ago

I cant believe we talked about that stuff...with matt

Me
20 hours ago

:D Me either

Her
20 hours ago

I was more interested in what you were saying than anything..

Turn's out she likes to be dominated and has a very creative Role Play imagination -

"One of mine would be something involving a man who is partially a dragon (can transform whenever he desires). And there’s a woman who is found unconscious on the ground near his dwellings and he rescues her against his better judgment. She awakens to find him sitting in his cave washing her blood off his hands in a small spring. He patches her wounds but he is not nice to her bc he hates humans. I would give them unique names lol. I would come up with a detailed description of how the slowly start to love but the man tries his best to resist her alluring sent but slowly falls for her as well. He would try his best to hide it and make her believe that she means nothing even tho he knows she has fallen madly in love with him. I would come up with the perfect scene…but one day he would no longer be able to resist her. He will grab her into his arms and eagerly kiss and bite along her neckline. Then he would rip at her clothing no longer able to hold himself back. He would throw her to the ground with great urgency and domination. When he feels he can not contain himself anymore he rips at his own coverings and takes her. Deep emotions and intimacy run between them. He would be forcefully holding and grabbing her while kissing every inch he is capable of reaching….lol we will just have to finish the rest…"

What a fucking freak eh? She doesn't sound too Christian anymore. :)
I love making them sin.

-

Questions, Comments, Suggestions or Praise? :hai:

Comments

  • DaktologistDaktologist Global Moderator
    edited November 2012
    Good shit bro :D
  • bornkillerbornkiller Administrator In your girlfriends snatch
    edited November 2012
    Reality is a change for the better. She'll be thanking you in the long run "dragon master"
  • Hellz-FuryHellz-Fury Regular
    edited November 2012
    bornkiller wrote: »
    Reality is a change for the better. She'll be thanking you in the long run "dragon master"

    I wish I could bring her back to it, but it seems impossible when it comes to these people.

    She was such a cool fucking chick back in the day. Hot as shit still but lost her fucking mind.

    EDIT:

    I remembered she actually has a picture worth looking at.

    659v7q.jpg

    Before Christianity obviously, I wouldn't post it otherwise. :thumbsup:

    Enjoy the mild nudity, even though you can't see shit I did :)
    Her nipples are kin to pepperoni, her pussy is ultra sensitive and tight as a motherfucker.

    FUCK I NEED TO STOP THINKING!
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited November 2012
    Haha, that is quality! Seriously, I was starting to hurt at the sides reading that...ideal situational fantasy of hers. Quite a few girls I know who aren't that religious (any more) read about vampires or other shit which has me thinking they're into bestiality to some degree.

    Makes me feel less of a pervert, eh? ;)

    Seriously, this is the least I can do:
    2647762-ihf.jpg

    Good luck on any future quests with her and the "pray away the gay" guy. I can't believe there are people like that in the world these days.
    Then again, I've never been to the USA.

    Also when it comes to psychology and freaking people out/gaining ground for yourself I've gone the more nonverbal route - I managed to really fuck with my counsellor the other day. Was imitating all the hand actions, feet positions and the like I was. Managed to win him over to almost drop me as a case. Works fucking wonders at bars - or if you want the short way, valium in a glass or wine does the trick just as good.
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited November 2012
  • bornkillerbornkiller Administrator In your girlfriends snatch
    edited November 2012
    Hellz-Fury wrote: »

    Her nipples are kin to pepperoni, her pussy is ultra sensitive and tight as a motherfucker.

    @ first I thought this read she has a pussy like a pepperoni. :facepalm:
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited November 2012
    Never knew someone would like dragons. Fuck this is something I should get into. Awesome troll potential. Good job, you make me proud.
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited November 2012
    *screenshots and saves in epic &T threads folder*
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited November 2012
  • Hellz-FuryHellz-Fury Regular
    edited November 2012
    RemadE wrote: »
    Haha, that is quality! Seriously, I was starting to hurt at the sides reading that...ideal situational fantasy of hers. Quite a few girls I know who aren't that religious (any more) read about vampires or other shit which has me thinking they're into bestiality to some degree.

    Makes me feel less of a pervert, eh? ;)

    Seriously, this is the least I can do:
    2647762-ihf.jpg

    Good luck on any future quests with her and the "pray away the gay" guy. I can't believe there are people like that in the world these days.
    Then again, I've never been to the USA.

    Also when it comes to psychology and freaking people out/gaining ground for yourself I've gone the more nonverbal route - I managed to really fuck with my counsellor the other day. Was imitating all the hand actions, feet positions and the like I was. Managed to win him over to almost drop me as a case. Works fucking wonders at bars - or if you want the short way, valium in a glass or wine does the trick just as good.

    Dude, this here is what is even more hilarious. This is the conversation after her dragon-cock fantasy.

    -

    Her
    Yesterday

    Sorry it took so long.

    Lol and this is comeing from someone who never got into romance novels. Just imagine if I had!

    Me
    Yesterday

    Wow, that is very creative

    I didn't know you were like that :)

    Jessica Hatfield
    Yesterday

    Lol

    Me
    Yesterday

    I was going to say earlier, We can dress up as Mickey and Minnie :D

    Her
    Yesterday

    I love to write so doing something like that in bed would be such a huge turn on!!

    Thats too funny!

    I cant believe I shared that fantasy...

    Me
    Yesterday

    It is very very good.

    Her
    Yesterday

    I like to pretend I think i'd really be able to get into that kind of stuff.

    Me
    Yesterday

    :) I think I could too

    From video game fantasy's I am sure I could

    Her
    Yesterday

    I'd want to do stuff off the top of my head. Out of my own creativity lol

    Me
    Yesterday

    That is great. Nothing like originality :)

    I could easily come up with a vampire fantasy

    Her
    Yesterday

    I'm sure it would be fun but there are so many limits to following someone elses ideas.

    Lol why not give it a try real quick.

    I'd love to read about it

    Me
    Yesterday

    It would actually come from my dream of me getting bit by a vampire, I actually woke up that day with two moles on my neck I never had before that. It freaked me out lol

    Give me a minute

    Her
    Yesterday

    lol ok

    Me
    Yesterday

    Really when it comes down to it, I would have to recreate the room to look like it did back then when I went through that whole vampire stage lol

    Me
    Yesterday

    It looked awesome then

    Candles, black drapes. Some type of colored lightbulb

    Dark setting. I cant really write Erotica lol

    Though I did type the dream and (what the fantasy part would be after I woke)

    Me
    Yesterday

    I found myself walking through my kitchen looking at the clock as someone knocked at the back door. It was 7:01AM, I wondered who would be knocking at the back door of my house since nobody ever does.

    I come before the door and open it to see a man of a bit over 6 feet tall standing there, Immediately he throws me in to the air atleast 15 feet and I land on my driveway already bitten during the attack.

    I awoke.

    I notice a stange tingling sensation on my neck, I reach up and feel two bite marks there. I seemed not afraid but empowered like fear never existed. I wondered who the man was in the dream and if it was even a dream at all.

    The phone rang...

    Me
    Yesterday

    :D

    We must be weird

    lol

    You want to do originals, I want to make re-creations :) Best of both worlds

    -

    This is where the conversation from that night ended. Apparently she fell asleep :D
    She probably start feeling "christ-guilt" :D

    She likes Anime, Disney is her favorite channel. She has read the Twilight series but didn't like the movies, read a whole bunch of other vampire shit too.

    @Darth - Completely appropriate for the topic :thumbsup:

    @Dfg - Very epic troll potential, they are probably the easiest to fuck with in the world.

    @RemadE - Don't archive yet. There are plenty more lulz to come, I just went to a service at a different church and hung out with the new Namaste. No sinning out of this one, she is quite the bore. But she is ugly as fuck.

    vr93f5.jpg
  • Hellz-FuryHellz-Fury Regular
    edited November 2012
    So here is the update on the Christ-Slut.

    I told the bitch off. She is on a whole "Holier than thou" rant at the moment, she has been typing for like ten minutes. This should be epic.
    What I have found out, no Christians views are the same on what the bible means.
    They literally are all fucking insane.

    -

    Her
    17 minutes ago

    How cant you be in my life and be my boyfriend if you say i'm forcing you to get back on drugs? You cant be a clean man if you can stay away from drugs? How can you be a good man if you cant take even an ounce of responsibility for yourself? I am not trying to debate im reaching out to you. How can I be a missionary if I wont reach out? I am not trying to cause fights but im a being the way god designed to to be. I don't care if the whole world agrees with you. It is not man kinds place to judge if your wrong or right. Ask god to show you the darkness in your heart. He will show you the flaws that you and the world are blind to. That statment is not to be mean either. Lol take what ever you want to your paster.

    Her
    13 minutes ago

    Your faith is staying there huh? You just told me 30 min ago that you were going back to drugs and that I was the cause?

    Her
    12 minutes ago

    I was just pissed off Jessica. Sorry

    I obviously am not because I promised you.

    Actually that is a good message

    and I completely agree with you like from the start. The only thing I have been mad about tonight is how peoples views are different.

    When did I say you were the cause of anything?

    I was just mad Jessica

    Please just leave it alone.

    Her
    8 minutes ago

    People are easly influenced by satan and his demons and it may truly seem as if you are listening to god.

    Me
    8 minutes ago

    It isn't even you. It is everyone else telling me what I should be doing when someone else is telling me different

    I know this well, that is why I take every message and ask myself what it means for me.

    Her
    6 minutes ago

    Just know the whole world may say something is right but that doesn't mean its right. Follow god word not the people of this world.

    Me
    6 minutes ago

    ^ This

    That is what I have been trying to say the whole time.

    I have been saying it from the start.

    The Bible being interpreted for yourself and what is on your heart and in your life is where God want's you to go :)

    Her
    4 minutes ago

    You: and I completely agree with you like from the start. The only thing I have been mad about tonight is how peoples views are different.When did I say you were the cause of anything?

    Me
    4 minutes ago

    ?

    Her
    4 minutes ago

    You said I was forceing you back to drugs

    I was just answering a ?

    Me
    4 minutes ago

    Jessica I said I was mad, I didn't mean that. My Dad was in here saying one thing, while Beth was over here saying another.

    I got mad and craved drugs all of a sudden.

    So that's what I ended up typing. It is just trial and temptation.

    Sorry

    Now can we please just talk about life in general right now?

    He went to bed, she is offline finally.

    -

    Now do you see what I mean? To get them to leave you alone you have to fucking agree with them and say "Can you talk about something else?".
    Which they will not fucking do. I only had her talk about life when she was over here riding my dragon-cock.

    I think she isn't responding because she is jealous of Namaste. :biggrin:

    EDIT:

    Oh and Totse, I am trying to start a war between churches at them moment :thumbsup:
  • bornkillerbornkiller Administrator In your girlfriends snatch
    edited November 2012
    She's not a super gem but I'd comfortably stick my dick in it. :ohttp://www.myspace.com/30424376/photos/565230#mssrc=SitesPhotos_AP_ViewPhoto
  • Hellz-FuryHellz-Fury Regular
    edited November 2012
    bornkiller wrote: »
    She's not a super gem but I'd comfortably stick my dick in it. :ohttp://www.myspace.com/30424376/photos/565230#mssrc=SitesPhotos_AP_ViewPhoto

    Not superb but you would just have to see everything else attached. Even after that she still isn't a 10/10, she is a 8/10. The whole point though is that she is a Christian :)

    Latest conversation continuing from the middle of the last debate LAWL.

    -

    Her
    30 minutes ago

    Good Night

    Me
    30 minutes ago

    Goodnight

    Let her influence you :)

    Or be a real woman

    Her
    24 minutes ago

    What?

    Me
    24 minutes ago

    Nah, Goodnight

    Her
    23 minutes ago

    No what is it?

    Me
    23 minutes ago

    Since you don't want to talk to me

    Her
    23 minutes ago

    nvm

    dont send messages to try to flare my interest just so you can be mean.

    Me
    22 minutes ago

    ?

    Well, you know what. If you think that way, just don't talk to me again.

    I really thought what happened was right. But it seems it is not

    Her
    20 minutes ago

    I just didnt want to talk anymore tonight Cody. I would like to wait until tomorrow so we can be clear headed. I do not want to fight.

    Me
    20 minutes ago

    Since you just won't talk to me about how you have been or a random topic.

    I don't either

    Her
    19 minutes ago

    If thats what you think I cant change your mind.

    Me
    19 minutes ago

    If you would look from the top of our conversation tonight to the end. You would understand I was venting because of life

    You did not once stop questioning me

    I said plenty of times, ANYWAY

    let PLEASE

    But no, you wouldn't and you still aren't trying

    Her
    18 minutes ago

    I have problems too but I do not throw words around and say hurtful things to you.

    Me
    18 minutes ago

    Really?

    Do I have to copy paste?

    Her
    18 minutes ago

    I know you said anyway but I was talking.

    Me
    17 minutes ago

    No, I said it and then I saw the notification that you started typing

    I already know what the Lord wants me to do which I have said plenty of times

    But still you sit here questioning my faith. Which no one is supposed to do.

    Me
    17 minutes ago

    Earlier "and you know thats what I ment
    Ok Im not going to talk anymore tonight."

    Her
    16 minutes ago

    Ok well then if your just so perfect in your walk with God then you don't need anyone reaching out to you. Im done then.

    Me
    16 minutes ago

    No one is perfect.

    You either

    Amanda, Mirsad or Matt

    Her
    15 minutes ago

    I never said I was.

    Me
    15 minutes ago

    I never said you did

    I am stating what the Bible says

    I am not pointing anything towards anyone

    Her
    15 minutes ago

    You are just so close minded...

    Me
    14 minutes ago

    And that is wrongly pointed towards me

    Her
    14 minutes ago

    But im going to go good night

    Me
    14 minutes ago

    Goodnight

    -

    Got fucking tired of editing the names halfway through, so here you go for tonight. + I'm drunk now.
  • Hellz-FuryHellz-Fury Regular
    edited November 2012
    "The official "What are you listening to thread." Re-post to this topic with more music being related. :)

    Uterus - Christian Slut : (Kudos to Darth Beaver and nudity on still on Youtube)

    A Perfect Circle - The Outside (Directors Cut) : (Self Explanatory)

    Korn - Falling Away From Me : (Her life with her dad)

    System Of A Down - Chop Suey : (Self Explanatory)

    Dream Theater - Stream Of Conciousness (A song from a CD she let me borrow during these weeks. Ever since then she has not played it because she claims it is "Satanic")

    Godsmack - I stand alone (This is me speaking through them :). Along with every song thereafter.)

    Godsmack - Love, Hate, Sex, Pain

    Godsmack - The Enemy

    Godsmack - Voodoo Too

    Godsmack - Hollow
  • Hellz-FuryHellz-Fury Regular
    edited November 2012
    Bornkiller, I see you have doxed her.

    When I give the go, everyone attack. Along with the guests if you want.

    I will show the aftermath :)

    -

    The attack topic will be "Fuck every Christian in the world!"

    Slipknot - Vermillion Part Two

    Slipknot - Dead Memories

    :)

    Thank Totse for my ability's :)
  • Hellz-FuryHellz-Fury Regular
    edited November 2012
    Wow, I was fucking smashed last night.
  • MarineBoatMarineBoat Regular
    edited November 2012
    dude relax they're only trying to help you find Jesus
  • Darth BeaverDarth Beaver Meine Ehre heißt Treue
    edited November 2012
    I didn't know:DUNNO: Jesus was lost.
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