I don't understand why people comment on porn videos
RemadE
Global Moderator
Forewarning - This is a serious post, as I truly don't get why people comment on porn vids, but as satire and sarcasm doesn't always transmit well across text/the internutz, I will try and make you giggle during this.
I just don't get it.
The last few months I've been pretty active on my phone, using the Internet. At home it's not so easy anymore and obviously, nature calls - but I don't poop (well, Crohn's yeah but not this time), I don't pee...I need to fap.
As us chaps know, we get onto a video and underneath are the comments. The same goes for places on Reddit and other forums where people can comment on things.
But why. Why porn?
I just don't get it - I don't want to imagine a person behind a keyboard commenting, taking the time out from stroking their knob or playing with their prostate, sticking their sordid hands over their keys and writing
"mmm, luvly tits, id cum all over them" or "omg your so pretty!"
Seriously, it's creepy and totally puts me off my fap.
But what's worse is that I have a fascination - a need to read these comments as they provide both a source of giggles and annoyance. Both in quantities that outweigh the positive outcome.
If, for example, it's a regular porn vid - anywhere from solo action to anal, then I'll just be at about a 2/10 pissed level. Enough to distract me for a few seconds and, if I'm lucky, keep my hard-on and continue choking the chicken.
If it's a bit more niche, per-se, anywhere from creampies to gangbangs and maybe even cuckold (yes, people - I have been around the porn block and seen almost everything there is to see) then the comments just make me more annoyed. Stuff like this:
Seriously? Sure everyone has their kink but unless I consent, I don't want my mind to be plagued by having an imaginary conversation with a complete stranger whom I known has jerked it to this video. It's like talking to a person plucked from the street sitting next to you as you bash one out
"Oh man I luv this bit, shes got a fine pussy!"
Seriously, shut up..
"Oh look at att the cum, wish I was that guy..
Ok, I'm losing concentration here, thinking of your fat gut and sweat dripping off your forehead..
"Dam I came hard 2 this!"
Ok..fuck it..throw in the towel. I didn't even finish. Fuck you, you creepy, possibly under-18 year old prick. Why do you have to comment on everything? I hope this bites you in the arse, you selfish little shit!
Then of course, there's the real niche bits - Rule 34, Midgets..Deep Web bits I don't even want to remember.
If you're going to comment...and impress the pixel ladies, at least spell correctly.
Or put a picture of your ugly mug up there, sandwiched between avatard of dongs..dongs of all shapes, sizes and colours! Not sure what..the..balloon is about..though. Maybe I skipped the clown part.
By this point I gave up blocking out usernames :facepalm:
The fact is, why do people feel the need to leave a mark of everywhere they've been? Twitter, Facebook, News sites and the like are all places people can post banal crap as if it matters.
The other weird thing is having their namaes, locations or even faces (as above) attached to their porn account.
Common sense (and general morality) dictates that most people would keep their perverse, kinky tastes away from their regular, everyday persona. Maybe it doesn't bother some - I don't care, but seeing the faces of these fellow viewers just makes the self-conversations I have even more weird.
I am comfortable in my sexuality, I truly am. Sure, I intimately discussed my phobia of bumholes some months back which had a rapturous welcome, but this is just a more widespread issue. Near the end of writing this I even found some results by Googling "funny porn comments". I just find it fucking weird as to why anyone would comment on a video or picture as if they have a chance with it. It's like they think the pixels will come alive just for them. The more they type, the details they put in, linked with mis-spelt words they've typed with one hand.
"My galfrend is reel! Her las name is JAYPEG!"
It's just weird.
Really damn weird.
I just don't get it.
The last few months I've been pretty active on my phone, using the Internet. At home it's not so easy anymore and obviously, nature calls - but I don't poop (well, Crohn's yeah but not this time), I don't pee...I need to fap.
As us chaps know, we get onto a video and underneath are the comments. The same goes for places on Reddit and other forums where people can comment on things.
But why. Why porn?
I just don't get it - I don't want to imagine a person behind a keyboard commenting, taking the time out from stroking their knob or playing with their prostate, sticking their sordid hands over their keys and writing
"mmm, luvly tits, id cum all over them" or "omg your so pretty!"
Seriously, it's creepy and totally puts me off my fap.
But what's worse is that I have a fascination - a need to read these comments as they provide both a source of giggles and annoyance. Both in quantities that outweigh the positive outcome.
If, for example, it's a regular porn vid - anywhere from solo action to anal, then I'll just be at about a 2/10 pissed level. Enough to distract me for a few seconds and, if I'm lucky, keep my hard-on and continue choking the chicken.
If it's a bit more niche, per-se, anywhere from creampies to gangbangs and maybe even cuckold (yes, people - I have been around the porn block and seen almost everything there is to see) then the comments just make me more annoyed. Stuff like this:
Seriously? Sure everyone has their kink but unless I consent, I don't want my mind to be plagued by having an imaginary conversation with a complete stranger whom I known has jerked it to this video. It's like talking to a person plucked from the street sitting next to you as you bash one out
"Oh man I luv this bit, shes got a fine pussy!"
Seriously, shut up..
"Oh look at att the cum, wish I was that guy..
Ok, I'm losing concentration here, thinking of your fat gut and sweat dripping off your forehead..
"Dam I came hard 2 this!"
Ok..fuck it..throw in the towel. I didn't even finish. Fuck you, you creepy, possibly under-18 year old prick. Why do you have to comment on everything? I hope this bites you in the arse, you selfish little shit!
Then of course, there's the real niche bits - Rule 34, Midgets..Deep Web bits I don't even want to remember.
If you're going to comment...and impress the pixel ladies, at least spell correctly.
Or put a picture of your ugly mug up there, sandwiched between avatard of dongs..dongs of all shapes, sizes and colours! Not sure what..the..balloon is about..though. Maybe I skipped the clown part.
By this point I gave up blocking out usernames :facepalm:
The fact is, why do people feel the need to leave a mark of everywhere they've been? Twitter, Facebook, News sites and the like are all places people can post banal crap as if it matters.
The other weird thing is having their namaes, locations or even faces (as above) attached to their porn account.
Common sense (and general morality) dictates that most people would keep their perverse, kinky tastes away from their regular, everyday persona. Maybe it doesn't bother some - I don't care, but seeing the faces of these fellow viewers just makes the self-conversations I have even more weird.
I am comfortable in my sexuality, I truly am. Sure, I intimately discussed my phobia of bumholes some months back which had a rapturous welcome, but this is just a more widespread issue. Near the end of writing this I even found some results by Googling "funny porn comments". I just find it fucking weird as to why anyone would comment on a video or picture as if they have a chance with it. It's like they think the pixels will come alive just for them. The more they type, the details they put in, linked with mis-spelt words they've typed with one hand.
"My galfrend is reel! Her las name is JAYPEG!"
It's just weird.
Really damn weird.
Comments
I feel like they ARE separating their kinky tastes from their regular persona. I'm sure LumpyCumSlut696969 very rarely talks about dining on sloppy creampie with the gusto you would normally see at an Asian hotdog eating contest. This isn't the local coffee shop. You are criticizing some of the seediest corners of the internet right now. I'd hate to see you pretend like you were expecting an undergraduate essay about women's rights.
Also buttholes rock.