Ok, who the fork stole my fork?

bornkillerbornkiller AdministratorIn your girlfriends snatch
edited August 2015 in Spurious Generalities
This is forken crazy. How the fork one could get sexual forken gratification from shoving forken cutlery in the end of ones penis is beyond my forken comprehension. Forken forked up, that's what I say!
Shocking X-ray: Doctors remove fork from penis of 70-year-old Australian man

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Doctors in Canberra have removed a 10-centimetre fork from the penis of a 70-year-old man who inserted it into his uretha in an attempt to achieve sexual gratification.

The case is considered so unusual it was written-up by three doctors in the International Journal of Surgery Case Report last month.

According to the report the man presented at Canberra Hospital emergency department with a bleeding sexual organ.

The Canberra Times says he told doctors he had inserted the piece of cutlery into his urethra almost 12 hours earlier in an attempt to achieve sexual gratification, but the fork - perhaps unsurprisingly - became stuck.

Doctors were able to feel the fork from outside and remarkable x-ray images showed the utensil wedged into the man's penis.

Medics finally removed the item using forceps and "copious lubrication" while the patient was under a general anaesthetic.

The case appears in the International Journal of Surgery Case Report published last month and is entitled "An Unusual Urethral Foreign Body".

In the document medics remark that it was rare to see objects lodged in the lower urinary tract.

Doctors explained that they wrote up the case "given the great management challenge faced by the oddity and infrequency with which a fork is encountered in the penile urethra".

“It is apparent that the human mind is uninhibited let alone creative," they wrote.

“Autoerotic stimulation with the aid of self-inserted urethral foreign bodies has been existent since time immemorial and have presented an unusual but known presentation to urologists."

According to the Canberra Times the report lists other objects found in parts of other bodies including wire, Allen keys, toothbrushes, light bulbs, thermometers, plants, vegetables, leeches, snakes and glue.

The newspaper also notes that the report says many patients try to remove items that become stuck because of embarrassment.

Their own attempts to extract the objects often result in further injuries the paper notes.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/australasia/shocking-xray-doctors-remove-fork-from-penis-of-70yearold-australian-man-8774501.html

Comments

  • Ahahahaha

    "It is apparent that the human mind is uninhibited let alone creative," they wrote.

    Fucker is 70. Guess he had a weird bucket list.
  • bornkillerbornkiller Administrator In your girlfriends snatch
  • SlartibartfastSlartibartfast Global Moderator -__-
    Originally posted by @bornkiller back in 2011 (holy fuck!!)
    http://www.totseans.com/bbs/discussion/16193/sex0ring-the-vacuum-cleaner-is-this-you
    "Erotic simulation by the use of vacuum cleaner or electric brooms appears to be a common form of masturbation. Unfortunately and contrary to apparent public appreciation, injury due to this form of autostimulation may not be unusual."
    So who here has a relationship with their vacuum?

    I guess the pros with this are you don't have relationship issues, you can fuck your vacuum anytime you want without it complaining about a headache or how tired it is, and in most countries it's not against the law to rape your vacuum in the arse if that's the way you blow.

    The cons are behind the spoiler (nsfw - pwnd but not pr0n)
    1-eaf0039e7d.jpg

    2-296838e10c.jpg

    3-2bf39f2950.jpg

    4-9e50b260c9.jpg

    Would you like SAUCE on you sausage?

    DPgO4.gif

    Remember people! Sometimes low pressure is good pressure & have fun.
  • Shits cray. Not sticking my dick anywhere near anything mechanical. Had a vibrating cock ring once and the fucker scared the little guy.
  • Forken mate, this forken BS that people do nowadays. Fork mate!
  • Okay, I just read Slarti post. GOD DAMMIT. That made my penis shrink and commit suicide. Holy shit. WHY WHY! OMG OMG...

    faints.
  • bornkillerbornkiller Administrator In your girlfriends snatch
    Originally posted by @bornkiller back in 2011 (holy fuck!!)
    http://www.totseans.com/bbs/discussion/16193/sex0ring-the-vacuum-cleaner-is-this-you
    "Erotic simulation by the use of vacuum cleaner or electric brooms appears to be a common form of masturbation. Unfortunately and contrary to apparent public appreciation, injury due to this form of autostimulation may not be unusual."
    So who here has a relationship with their vacuum?

    I guess the pros with this are you don't have relationship issues, you can fuck your vacuum anytime you want without it complaining about a headache or how tired it is, and in most countries it's not against the law to rape your vacuum in the arse if that's the way you blow.

    The cons are behind the spoiler (nsfw - pwnd but not pr0n)
    1-eaf0039e7d.jpg

    2-296838e10c.jpg

    3-2bf39f2950.jpg

    4-9e50b260c9.jpg

    Would you like SAUCE on you sausage?

    DPgO4.gif

    Remember people! Sometimes low pressure is good pressure & have fun.
    Ahhh yyyesss.... Good times,good times.
  • The fucked up part is, after reading about vacuums and seeing the damage, part of me wants to see what the fuss is and see if I can get away with it. Will report back as soon as I rape my $200 vacuum.
  • SlartibartfastSlartibartfast Global Moderator -__-
    All vacuum cleaners have a pretty long hose. So unless they put their dick in the motor itself, I can't see how that would have happened.
  • That's what I'm wondering. Maybe they stuck it in the wrong end.
  • bornkillerbornkiller Administrator In your girlfriends snatch
    Gen_Why wrote: »
    That's what I'm wondering. Maybe they stuck it in the wrong end.
    There is no wrong end, if it's a hole, it's a goal. My ex would be like ..."Owww, your sticking it in the wrong end". And I'd like whisper to her all sexy and shit...."Shut up bitch your grandmother never complained" When I'd finish I would teasingly cut the duct tape from her wrists. ...Ahh god times,good times.

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