ITT: Stories

PigPig Regular
edited August 2010 in Spurious Generalities
I have a buddy whose friend has a shit fetish, i.e. girls pissing and shitting on each other. His girlfriend, who is literally crazy, found him jerking off to the shit videos on several occasions. The first time he was caught, she waited until the next day to get revenge. So they were driving in his truck, and in the midst of driving, she decided to lean over and shit on his shoulder. Another time she caught him, she pissed in her hand and threw it in his face.

He also told me that they were having sex one time, and he made her bleed a little, and she got pissed the fuck off. So that night, when he was sleeping, she slashed his dick with a razor. He had to get stitches. Nevertheless, my buddy told his friend's girlfriend that she should "never break up with him, because you'll never find another guy who'll still love you even after you slash his dick open".

Let's hear some fucking stories.

Comments

  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited August 2010
    :facepalm:


    I think that sums it up. Wow. I can't top that, sorry.
  • Rumple ForeskinRumple Foreskin Regular
    edited August 2010
    pics or didnt happen
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited August 2010
    Great stories. Here's one that's only slightly true, and an adaptation of a story told by several other people:

    I used to go to this restaurant for breakfast every morning. Good food, decent prices, and a warm atmosphere. Nah, who am I kidding, there was a hot waitress who worked there. So as I went there more often, I became a regular face there and got on good terms with the staff. I was talking with the waitress one day and she said, "You know, this job isn't paying too well. I'm thinking of getting a different one." "What do you have in mind?" I asked. To my surprise, she said, "I heard turning tricks is pretty good pay." I was speechless. She took my order, and brought me my pancakes. I finished it and went off on my way.

    When I went back the next day and took my regular seat by the window, she came up to me with a wide grin on her face. "Order anything you want, this one's on me," she happily said. I scrambled for words, "What's the occasion? I might just order everything on the menu." She answered, "I tried some of that prostituting stuff last night. I made five hundred dollars and five cents!" "Five cents?!" I exclaimed, "Who the hell gave you five cents?"

    "They all did!"
  • PigPig Regular
    edited August 2010
    As epic as Mayberry's story sounds, I'm afraid I don't get the punchline.
  • fanglekaifanglekai Regular
    edited August 2010
    Pig wrote: »
    As epic as Mayberry's story sounds, I'm afraid I don't get the punchline.

    Everyone gave her 5 cents to fuck her. She had sex with enough men @ 5 cents per fuck to make 500.05.
  • PigPig Regular
    edited August 2010
    Oh. Damn, I chuckled a little.
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