Funny/Stupid Things you did when you were little

KatzenklavierKatzenklavier Regular
edited September 2010 in Spurious Generalities
I remember when I was 5, I got a computer game in a happy meal. I put the disk in the computer and after a little while, I got a message "this program has preformed an illegal operation and will be shut down." I shat brix. I quickly took the disk out of the computer and broke it, then put it in a blender. I then hid in my closet until the morning thinking police were going to come get me.

What lulzy things have you done as a little kid?
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Comments

  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited August 2010
    When I was around 5 or 6 I was always taking shit apart and there was this toy bus I decided to destroy and I ended up accidently smashing my head with a hammer:facepalm: I had to go to the ER and that shit hurt for a couple months.
  • KatzenklavierKatzenklavier Regular
    edited August 2010
    I ended up accidently smashing my head with a hammer

    How the fuck did you manage to do that?
  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited August 2010
    I started wildly swinging the hammer down on the toy bus and during the upswing bam I hit my head.
  • TruthWielderTruthWielder Regular
    edited August 2010
    Toothpaste. Covered. Penis.
  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited August 2010
    Toothpaste. Covered. Penis.

    I was decieved into doing that once. It burned like no burn my penis has ever suffered:sad:
  • blindbatblindbat Regular
    edited August 2010
    Lol when i was 5 i grabbed a girls ass cuz i saw this one couple playing grab ass and i thought they liked that so i did it to this one girl she was my age . and yea.... didn't go too well.
  • DysgraphiaDysgraphia Locked
    edited August 2010
    I kissed a girl when I was 5 and thought I had contracted AIDS.

    It used to be a big thing back then. I recall commercials on TV saying that bruises, pimples and itches could be symptoms. LOL :facepalm:

    It traumatized me till I was 7, that's when I learned about sex-ed in elementary school.
  • edited August 2010
    I did so much stupid shit when I was little. Nothing too serious though, although I used to put magnetic alphabet letters in the VCR and it caught fire soon after.
  • DailyDaily Regular
    edited August 2010
    When I was 5, I peed in a bottle and told my friend it was apple juice.

    He drank it.
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited August 2010
    In grade 1, I told everyone I liked this girl. Then the teacher tried to hook us up :o
  • Gary OakGary Oak Regular
    edited August 2010
    Named my penis Darth Vader.
  • edited August 2010
    I use to pray to god. LOL!
  • edited August 2010
    Daily wrote: »
    When I was 5, I peed in a bottle and told my friend it was apple juice.

    He drank it.

    I've ALWAYS wanted to do this to someone. Did he drink the whole bottle? Or just a sip and spat it out? xD
  • DailyDaily Regular
    edited August 2010
    trx100 wrote: »
    I've ALWAYS wanted to do this to someone. Did he drink the whole bottle? Or just a sip and spat it out? xD

    If I remember correctly, he drank a little bit and his face was like "wtf?" but he then drank some more until he realised it was piss. Muahaha!

    Two sips!
  • KatzenklavierKatzenklavier Regular
    edited August 2010
  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited August 2010
    My mates and I thought it would be a good idea to hide out in the playground and skip lessons, so we went into a small plastic tube designed to be crawled through, adopted the foetus position and sat upright, bent over and pretty uncomfortable. There were 3 of us in this thing and the whistle went.
    We immediately felt like rebels.

    a few minutes passed and we wanted to get out, but we couldn't. Turns out we were all stuck there and after about 30 minutes, the teachers came out and heard my friend crying. The fire brigade had to be called out and cut us out of the tube.

    Also, as for the OP about "illegal operations", my retarded 23 year old "friend" got this message with Quake 4 and had a similar reaction.
    He is a very special individual. i don't think he's even seen a pair of tits in his life.
  • KatzenklavierKatzenklavier Regular
    edited August 2010
    Oh I got another one.

    When we were 7, my friend and I wanted to play "fireman", so we took a plastic bucket and put a soda can full of gasoline in it, then we pissed on it. It didn't go out, and we were out of piss. So now the plastic bucket is on fire and we just run and hide under a bush to watch it burn. A car comes soon after, and the driver didn't see it. Then something along the lines of this happened.

    boom-o.gif

    We were shitting ourselves now, and managed to run like hell without the driver seeing.
  • MooseKnuckleMooseKnuckle Regular
    edited August 2010
    scoop up dog crap and put it in the neighbors mailbox/on newspaper. also tipping portapoppies. and dingdongditch, ya dig?
  • KatzenklavierKatzenklavier Regular
    edited August 2010
    scoop up dog crap and put it in the neighbors mailbox/on newspaper. also tipping portapoppies. and dingdongditch, ya dig?

    Shitty story is shitty and lacking copious amounts of lulz.
  • BitterConflictBitterConflict Regular
    edited August 2010
    I ate Styrofoam cups. Burned money because it smelled good. Tried smoking out of an apple with no weed in it. (I thought it would get me high or something.)
  • sAINTsAINT Regular
    edited August 2010
    when i was very young in preschool, it was like a religious preschool of some sort, and i was on stage on a christmas play. i was standing there doing elvis presley dance moves while mary was holdin baby jesus n i got took off stage and kept trying to run back up there to bust out some more moves LOL!!

    another time me and my friend had a fort in this woods that had a mattress..long story short, it caught on fire when we were dicking around lighting some strands of dry cloth on fire. we had to franticly run down to this stream and get bottles of water and run back to the fire n try to put it out..after 30 minutes we heard fire sirens so we ran the fuck out of there..they came and put it out. never got caught:o:o

    i used to play "real life" paper poy. you remember that game? where you run threw yards on your bike and throw newspaper through peoples windows. I would just ride my bike through a serious of connected front yards and get people pissed off chasing me..

    me and my best friend knew about this house where everyone was arrested and nobody was sure if anyone lived there..we went to the back door and pushed. it was unlocked..after many motivational talks, we finally went inside. everything smelled like SHIT. old shit everywhere. didnt find anything real interesting at first, but as I was digging through a suitcase in this room, i pulled out a sandwich baggie with green stuff in it..first time we got high :D

    will post moar as i think of shit
  • electric wizardelectric wizard Acolyte
    edited August 2010
    I feel like I should read the rest of the story, but I didn't, because after reading the words "religious preschool" I already started laughing
  • KatzenklavierKatzenklavier Regular
    edited August 2010
    Post something funny or GTFO
  • brandonbrandon Regular
    edited August 2010
    When I was around 5 or 6 I was always taking shit apart and there was this toy bus I decided to destroy and I ended up accidently smashing my head with a hammer:facepalm: I had to go to the ER and that shit hurt for a couple months.

    u were 1 of those kids that ppl had 2 hide there toys from cus u wood always brake them :o:o:o
  • BukujutsuBukujutsu The Angry Inch
    edited August 2010
    i bet brindon wood alwys hit hiz hed wen he wuz litl, lol :o:o:o
  • KatzenklavierKatzenklavier Regular
    edited September 2010
  • MantikoreMantikore Regular
    edited September 2010
    my dad bought me one of those 10 cent jawbreaker things from a machine when i was a kid. i had never seen it before and thought it was a marble. so i played with it for a few months and it went everywhere with me. eventually i dropped it and it cracked open. at first, i was like :(, but then for some reason, i instinctively put it in my mouth and realised it tasted sweet. then i at the rest of it. it was covered in sweat, dirt and all that.
  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited September 2010
    I use to pray to god. LOL!

    Praying to God is never stupid.
  • Professor ElmProfessor Elm Regular
    edited September 2010
    I had BB gun fights with full scale pistols at around 9... I remember being in my house out the window shooting friends. I once got shot in the cheek and a hard lump [lol] come up.
  • AltindAltind Regular
    edited September 2010
    I'm not sure what age I was, but I remember putting chairs on a trampoline and bouncing around. Barely lasted a minute before the legs snapped off and I went flying over the edge, smashed my head on a wooden retaining wall and cracked my head open.
  • Professor ElmProfessor Elm Regular
    edited September 2010
    Disneyland reminded me of this other time where I pushed some kid I did'nt like into a lake filled with ducks and lilypads. Was funny because he could not swim and had to be rescued.
  • TLVTLV Regular
    edited September 2010
    Shoved cat food up my nose.
  • Professor ElmProfessor Elm Regular
    edited September 2010
    TLV wrote: »
    Shoved cat food up my nose.

    At even at such a young age did you not think that may be a strange thing to do? :D
  • DaktologistDaktologist Global Moderator
    edited September 2010
    I remember when I was younger, I use to like playing with fire. didn't become an arsonist though, anyway one hot dry summers day I decided to sneak over to the empty section behind our house which was overgrown with bushes and dry grass, so I was over there trying to light this oil lamp I found with a burning stick and managed to set the grass on fire and fuck did that fire spread quick. after trying to piss on it and smother it with a plastic bucket I sneak back inside my house so my parents would think I was inside all along, I'm sure that they think it was the hot weather that had something to do with it :D
  • DfgDfg Admin
    edited September 2010
    Ate tons of pills, thinking they were candy. I was high as shit and too fucking young to do anything. Was in hospital for 3 days. Thanks to that, I never thought about doing drugs in my life.
  • bornkillerbornkiller Administrator In your girlfriends snatch
    edited September 2010
    Age of 4 tried to warm the cat up in the garage fridge with newspaper & matches.:facepalm:
    Lucky for the cat, my dad caught me before the paper caught alight and kicked my ass.
  • acid_dropacid_drop Regular
    edited September 2010
    Praying to God is never stupid.

    It's pointless. God is a silly fairytale invented for those too weak to understand or admit that life sucks, then you die. The end.
    My brother and I were wrestling, I pushed him into a rather shoddy housing commission plaster wall. He got stuck there. My dad pulled him out because he was screaming, I got SMACKED DOWN.

    Quoted this just because it was funny. Reminds me of all the shit I used to do to my little brother, then getting the shit smacked out of me. Or the belt.... man the belt sucks. If I ever accidently have kids, they're getting the belt as soon as they come out of the womb for being a damned accident :angry:

    Anyway, I was climbing a tree near my house, and I jumped the last five or so feet down and got a rusty nail through my shoe/foot. Thought it was kind of cool that a nail went through my shoe, until I realized my foot was in the shoe... I think the tetnus shot scared me more at that age though.
  • KatzenklavierKatzenklavier Regular
    edited September 2010
    acid_drop wrote: »
    If I ever accidently have kids, they're getting the belt as soon as they come out of the womb for being a damned accident :angry:.

    Hope you don't live in europe...

    fe9.bmp
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited September 2010
    What happens if you put toothpaste on your penis? :o
  • KatzenklavierKatzenklavier Regular
    edited September 2010
    Toothpaste is an abrasive.
  • MayberryMayberry Regular
    edited September 2010
    OH SHI-

    BLOOD EVERYWHERE! :fap:

    histeria.jpg
  • bornkillerbornkiller Administrator In your girlfriends snatch
    edited September 2010
    Is it as bad as Tabasco?
  • bornkillerbornkiller Administrator In your girlfriends snatch
    edited September 2010
    spazz wrote: »
    probably not but,

    This is in no way my writing it was taken from : http://chuckpalahniuk.net/features/shorts/guts

    I just though it might be a good addition,I remember reading this along time ago on old totse.





    :facepalm:

    That's a pretty fucked up story.....I like!
  • DirtySanchezDirtySanchez Regular
    edited September 2010
    bornkiller wrote: »
    That's a pretty fucked up story.....I like!

    I remember reading that when I was real young. I think it was in either playboy or penthouse. It also had the one about the kid who jacks it with wax down is dickhole then it becomes lodged in his bladder.
  • TLVTLV Regular
    edited September 2010
    At even at such a young age did you not think that may be a strange thing to do? :D

    I was like 3 or 4 at the oldest. I eventually got one so far stuck up my nose I had to go to the hospital.
  • edited September 2010
    TLV wrote: »
    I was like 3 or 4 at the oldest. I eventually got one so far stuck up my nose I had to go to the hospital.

    Hahaha, I bet that was fun to explain to the doctors :D
  • acid_dropacid_drop Regular
    edited September 2010
    Hope you don't live in europe...

    fe9.bmp

    Blue state. As long as you don't abuse the shit out of your kids it's not a problem. They can't outlaw spanking your kid... Punching them in the throat is a different story.
  • TLVTLV Regular
    edited September 2010
    trx100 wrote: »
    Hahaha, I bet that was fun to explain to the doctors :D

    I don't remember much of going. Mostly family members trying to get it out of my nose with forks, tweezers and long fingernails.
  • edited September 2010
    I remember when I was young and stupid, going to www.totse.com.
  • KatzenklavierKatzenklavier Regular
    edited September 2010
    I used to think the earth was a happy place.
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