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So who knows whats up with rebound game...

PhilosoraptorPhilosoraptor Regular
edited January 2011 in Life
Ok so this chick I use to hook up with years ago/have always had a thing for just split with her boyfriend of 2 years today, I'm not sure what the complete details are, but I'd like to start something up with her. However, I don't know how to work the whole rebound situation. I'm not a bitch, I know how to get with girls and all, but this is the one thing I'm not good at. Advice anyone?
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  • ikillbearswithmybarehandsikillbearswithmybarehands Regular
    edited January 2011
    How do you normally hook up with girls? Do that. Who cares if she's recently single or if she's been single for a long time? She needs to fuck and you need to fuck. Why not fuck each other?
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  • PhilosoraptorPhilosoraptor Regular
    edited January 2011
    From the mind of a guy/girl who thinks like a guy, that makes perfect sense, after I get out of a relationship I just wanna bang chicks left and right. However, many girls try to go out and find themselves or some shit for a few months, so any advances fail and put you in the friend zone, or they just go out and bang everything that moves.

    Hopefully this girl is the latter. I usually just pull the musician/badass card, like get girls into a show for free and hook them up with a drink or two, which has a good chance of working in this case, I just need to figure out a good way of putting myself back into her life without looking like I'm trying to rebound it up. If y'all have any techniques to suggest that'd be bitchin, and I will totally post updates.
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  • ikillbearswithmybarehandsikillbearswithmybarehands Regular
    edited January 2011
    Do you know her well enough to tell for sure if she's gonna go rebound it up or if she's gonna "go to the gym, read lame books, and find the right guy this time around." ...? Either way you just gotta be the right guy temporarily. It'd help if you knew what kind of girl she was though.

    The musician deal is pretty much the best technique. You can't really top that unless you're some kind of pro athlete.

    Are you just trying to fuck or do you like her more than that?
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  • PhilosoraptorPhilosoraptor Regular
    edited January 2011
    There aren't many girls that I've encountered that I would consider a relationship with, especially given my line of work; however, this is one of the rare women that I would like to have a relationship with. If we end up just fucking that's alright, but if I could settle down and get a girlfriend it'd be her, thats why I'm trying to formulate a game plan so I don't fuck it up.

    I'm probably not gonna contact her for 3-4 days, then just come up with some bullshit excuse to hit her up on facebook or some shit, see how she's doing and set up a time to hang out or something. I just don't wanna end up in the friend zone.
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  • ikillbearswithmybarehandsikillbearswithmybarehands Regular
    edited January 2011
    I know what you mean. Touring isn't exactly relationship friendly.

    It sounds like you do want a relationship. If so, you'll have to take it slow and try to hang out with her casually. If she knows you're a musician and it's not hard for you to find women that could help. It'd make her feel special you're choosing her over other girls who are throwing themselves at you. But on the other hand she doesn't want to be a groupie.

    Do you know the terms and reasoning for the breakup? Those come into play for sure if you're trying to make this a relationship.

    Don't say you don't care about it turning into a relationship because you obviously do or you don't Theres no in between with stuff like this.

    That advice only applies if you do, in fact, want a relationship.
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  • PhilosoraptorPhilosoraptor Regular
    edited January 2011
    From what I've heard, they didn't really "see eye to eye" on a lot of issues. She is usually into musicians but I guess she wanted to try something new, because her ex was a real outdoors man type.

    Getting past the whole "her thinking about herself as a groupie" thing is one of the bigger obstacles. I haven't talked to her for like 8-9 months now, I was just letting the relationship play out, so its a good possibility I can just show up again, set up a date and all that within a weeks period. I'm guessing that I'll probably have to take things hella slow though?
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  • PhilosoraptorPhilosoraptor Regular
    edited January 2011
    And I do want a relationship btw.
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  • ikillbearswithmybarehandsikillbearswithmybarehands Regular
    edited January 2011
    Philosoraptor wrote: »
    From what I've heard, they didn't really "see eye to eye" on a lot of issues. She is usually into musicians but I guess she wanted to try something new, because her ex was a real outdoors man type.

    Getting past the whole "her thinking about herself as a groupie" thing is one of the bigger obstacles. I haven't talked to her for like 8-9 months now, I was just letting the relationship play out, so its a good possibility I can just show up again, set up a date and all that within a weeks period. I'm guessing that I'll probably have to take things hella slow though?

    Not too slow. Build up trust and value while affirming that you are interested in including her in your life at this point in time. If you want a relationship unfortunately the musician thing doesn't work that well. If a girl likes you for you then you can have a relationship. If she likes you just because you meet certain criteria what's stopping her from a. changing that criteria on a whim, like it seems like she tried, or b. going after someone else who fits that criteria at the first sign of trouble? Nothing. You can't base a relationship off of being a fancy pants guitarist. She'll see through that when she gets to know you. I've been there done that way too many times.

    I'm not gonna sit here and tell you what to do, that's not my style. I'm not you and I'm not her. I don't know where you both are at as far as maturity, happiness, and what your general outlook on life is. I can only give my personal insights on the situation based on my experiences.

    I think you'll be fine either way. Do what you think is best, go with your gut reaction. It's there for a reason.
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  • PhilosoraptorPhilosoraptor Regular
    edited January 2011
    Yeah I get you, like if this is meant to be than badass, but if not then everythings cool, there's just something else in the works for me. We're both pretty mature and all, I'm just gonna see how shit plays out after I make contact.

    The fancy pants guitarist comment made me lol though, like my best friend is also a badass guitarist and we actually met when she quit hooking up with him for me hahaha! This was several years ago though
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