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Fucking University

RemadERemadE Global Moderator
edited September 2011 in Spurious Generalities
As per usual, I opened my Unimail account yesterday and got a message that basically told me I have 24 hours to pack my life and move to University, and my job now consists of 15 hours a week. I have to cover around 12 miles per week checking Student houses in parts of town I was almost stabbed in and seeing the shit-eating grin of Freshers who think they know everything.

Welcome home, RemadE. It's nice to see we can piss on you and if you back out, we just say "HO HO HO! WE TOLD YOU SO!"

Time to score more drugs. The Uni is well against them, but not when they are in a blister pack and have a green slip telling people I can shoot up morphine whenever I want :hai:
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Comments

  • UnknownUnknown
    edited September 2011
    That kind of sucks man, you got an unlucky job there but hopefully it will get you some additional experience and maybe you'll meet some interesting folk along the way. What is your job title exactly? Some kind of security or what? Maybe you can be known as "that cool security guy" :D
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  • GoingNowhereGoingNowhere Global Moderator
    edited September 2011
    Is the pay good though? Never know, you could meet some cool people :)
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  • TheWitchDoctorTheWitchDoctor Regular
    edited September 2011
    You should extort people and take bribes and stuff.
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  • ShadyTrollShadyTroll Regular
    edited September 2011
    TheWitchDoctor wrote: »
    You should extort people and take bribes and stuff.

    This.
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  • MayorofMonkeytownMayorofMonkeytown Regular
    edited September 2011
    Also if its REAL ghetto you can try establishing a squat and charging people to live in it.

    Being a slum lord is a dream of mine.
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  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited September 2011
    Lol my friends live in squats, so I could trty and see if they want to set up a system whereby we become slum lords.
    As for the job, without giving too much away, I have to look after Freshers again this year, but I am off-campus this time, so that means the unlucky sods who didn't get halls are scattered in around 20 houses throughout my City, on the outskirts, and it's up to me to visit them over a 12 hour work shift.

    Now combine that with third-year levels of work and the fact I have to visit a loony bin for a day or two per week (hopefully that will subside after a while). Doesn't leave me with a lot of time.
    The pay is around £6.50/hr and I can't drive, (like I'd trust myself driving), so I opted for my bike. In short, with Winter coming and the distances - I'm gonna be fucked. Might just set up a system whereby they call me if they need me. Reminds me I need to order a phone charger.

    Also the Facebook groups just make me cry with a psychotic grin. I was known to be "that cool mentor" guy last year and got away, almost, with murder, but I still have to live with Freshers this year (as I'm in Halls) so who knows what may happen. The last thing for me to pack is my laptop, xbox and as many prescription drugs as possible :hai:
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  • KMKKMK Semo-Regulars
    edited September 2011
    Boo hoo hoo.
    Quit being a faggot and join the real world
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  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited September 2011
    KMK wrote: »
    Boo hoo hoo.
    Quit being a faggot and join the real world

    I've worked in enough jobs and experienced a lot in life already - so I am, which is why those in the "Student world" don't live in the real world.
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  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited September 2011
    Ok so I decided to quit it. Why? Because with my lecture schedule and 2 days a week in a rubber room. The logistics are impossible and it's odd as they would insure me on a University car for £2,000 a year, but not give me £10 towards a taxi ride every fortnight. Very odd.

    Also as part of my now defunct training, we were given a lecture by the Police on drugs. The extent of their cluelessness extended to the following quotes
    • "LSD will stay in your DNA and there is an increased risk you will have disabled Children. Why would anyone want that?"
    • "MDMA is a more extreme version of Ecstacy, and is a mix of PCP and Ketamine."
    • "Cannabis is not a painkiller. Why would you smoke something with glass in it?" - I know there were reports of this for a short while in the UK, about 4 years ago and in shitty places. If there were a Medicinal Marijuana research facility, then we wouldn't have that issue, would we?
    • "The chemical in the cannabis leaf that gets you high is Tetahydrocann...cann..Cannabis"
    • "I mean, why would people use Barbiturates?" - Ever wondered why? They were prescribed as a sleeping aid you dicks.
    • "As Police we see a lot of drug users, and every one we deal with on psychedelics such as Cannabis, LSD and Mushrooms are in a haze of anger and psychosis."
    • "Only junkies do subcutaneous injections."

    It went on, and I was making sly comments, so the bitch Policewoman snapped "Oi, would you like to do this talk?" so I said "Of course" and gave a much better, more informed one. I didn't praise drugs and talked of the myths surrounding them, much to the shock of the Staff who know me, and my own confidence.

    So fuck them. Why do I want to work for a place that I have no faith in and who employ the most Socially retarded kids ("OMG why would ANYONE put a needle in them?" :facepalm: )when I now have the opportunity to make up to £900 a month in another field of work.

    Edit - the PCSO who was also giving the retarded THC pronounciation said that "people use more complex ways of growing now, such as using hydrophonics"....since when were underwater speakers part of the growing process?!
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  • UnknownUnknown
    edited September 2011
    "The chemical in the cannabis leaf that gets you high is Tetahydrocann...cann..Cannabis"

    I fucking LOL'd, hahahaha.

    Good call on ditching that job, it just sounds like they're either retarded or they're a bunch of brainwashers trying to get you to think that "hurr drugs are bad" :facepalm:
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  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited September 2011
    They were brainwashing - until I got on the soapbox.

    Also this song sums me up for the most part. Weekend FTW. Hello new syringes and morphine :hai:

    http://dl.dropbox.com/u/22075307/Dennis%20Leary%20-%20As_hole%20%5Bwww.keepvid.com%5D.mp4
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  • DaktologistDaktologist Global Moderator
    edited September 2011
    RemadE wrote: »
    since when were underwater speakers part of the growing process?!

    lulwat
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  • RemadERemadE Global Moderator
    edited September 2011
    Daktologist wrote: »
    lulwat

    She said people grow Cannabis with "Hydrophonic" systems. In my mind, and I hope many others, Hydro = Water, and phonic = Sound. She said nothing about lights, as Hydroponic systems are where there is an absence of soil and instead, a concentrate of nutrients in the water and a tight feeding schedule.

    Fuck, I just want to grow now.
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  • DaktologistDaktologist Global Moderator
    edited September 2011
    RemadE wrote: »
    She said people grow Cannabis with "Hydrophonic" systems. In my mind, and I hope many others, Hydro = Water, and phonic = Sound. She said nothing about lights, as Hydroponic systems are where there is an absence of soil and instead, a concentrate of nutrients in the water and a tight feeding schedule.

    Fuck, I just want to grow now.

    Cops are fucking morons. They think they are an expert on literally everything but in reality they make themselves look like an ass.
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