Three Celtic fans walk into a bar... A priest, a poof and a paedophile... And that was just the first one.
Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you are a paedophile, but you just haven't met the right child yet?
Being a Paedophile living in Liverpool, I try to attract girls aged 13 to 14. As these are usually the ones with the youngest kids.
Did you hear about the Jewish paedophile? He comes out from behind the bushes and says, "Hey little boy, want to buy some sweets?"
My wife said to me, "I've just heard some great news, apparently the police know who the local paedophile is and they are going to arrest him tonight." I said, "That's brilliant news. Let's celebrate by moving to Australia."
Three priests are out taking three choirboys fishing, when the boat starts to sink.
"We've got to save the boys!" screams the first priest.
"Fuck the boys!" roars the second.
The third looks nervously at the water flooding the boat and asks "Do you think we've got time?"
Little johnny runs into his mother and says "mummy can you show me a magic trick"
His mother replies "sorry johnny i don't know any magic tricks go ask your father"
so little johnny runs to his father and says "Daddy daddy can you show me a magic trick?"
His father replies "sorry johnny i don't know any magic tricks go ask your grandfather"
So little johnny runs to his grandfathers and said "granddad granddad can you show me a magic trick?"
His grandfather replies sure johnny turn around and pull your pants down, now can you feel me thumb up your arse?"
"Yes i can" johnny replied. "Look no hands."
A man and a little boy are walking into the woods around sunset. neither of them says a word, but as they’re walking, it’s noticeable how dark it’s gotten. the further and further they go, the darker and scarier it gets until finally, the little boy turns and says:
"hey, I’m getting scared mister!" the man looks down and replies:
"YOU’RE scared? I gotta walk outta here by myself!"
What's the worst thing about being a paedophile?
You just don't fit in.
What do you give a paedophile who has everything?
A bigger parish!
What's the two signs a Catholic Priest is a paedophile?
1) He's Catholic.
2) He's a Priest.
What do paedophiles pass round after dinner?
The under eights.
What's really the worst thing about being a paedophile?
Getting caught.
What's the difference between a fridge and a baby?
A freezer won't cry when you stick your meat in it...
Whats the best thing about sleeping with 24 year old?
There's 20 of them.
What's the best thing about rooting a 12 year old girl?
Turn her over, and you have a 12 year old boy.
Paedophile change: I'll swap you to fivers for a ten?
Two paedophiles are lying on the beach sunbathing, one rolls over an the other one says OI!!! get out of my sun!!
A priest, a paedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar...
He orders a drink.
What's the worst thing about being a paedophile?
Having to go to bed so early!
Why is paedophilia so popular?
Because kids are so fucking sexy!
What's the worst part about fucking a five-year old?
Washing the blood out of your clown suit.
What is round and bobs up and down in a crib?
A pedophile's ass.
How can you make a baby cry?
Wipe your bloody cock with his favourite teddy-bear.
Whats the hardest thing about having sex with a virgin these days?
Getting them away from the preschool.
What's the best thing about fucking a 5 year old?
Feeling his pelvis crack.
What did the Jewish paedophile say to the little boy after luring him into his car?
Hey, go easy on those fucking sweets.
Three Celtic fans walk into a bar... A priest, a poof and a paedophile... And that was just the first one.
Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you are a paedophile, but you just haven't met the right child yet?
Being a Paedophile living in Liverpool, I try to attract girls aged 13 to 14. As these are usually the ones with the youngest kids.
Did you hear about the Jewish paedophile? He comes out from behind the bushes and says, "Hey little boy, want to buy some sweets?"
My wife said to me, "I've just heard some great news, apparently the police know who the local paedophile is and they are going to arrest him tonight." I said, "That's brilliant news. Let's celebrate by moving to Australia."
Three priests are out taking three choirboys fishing, when the boat starts to sink.
"We've got to save the boys!" screams the first priest.
"Fuck the boys!" roars the second.
The third looks nervously at the water flooding the boat and asks "Do you think we've got time?"
Little johnny runs into his mother and says "mummy can you show me a magic trick"
His mother replies "sorry johnny i don't know any magic tricks go ask your father"
so little johnny runs to his father and says "Daddy daddy can you show me a magic trick?"
His father replies "sorry johnny i don't know any magic tricks go ask your grandfather"
So little johnny runs to his grandfathers and said "granddad granddad can you show me a magic trick?"
His grandfather replies sure johnny turn around and pull your pants down, now can you feel me thumb up your arse?"
"Yes i can" johnny replied. "Look no hands."
A man and a little boy are walking into the woods around sunset. neither of them says a word, but as they’re walking, it’s noticeable how dark it’s gotten. the further and further they go, the darker and scarier it gets until finally, the little boy turns and says:
"hey, I’m getting scared mister!" the man looks down and replies:
"YOU’RE scared? I gotta walk outta here by myself!"
What's the worst thing about being a paedophile?
You just don't fit in.
What do you give a paedophile who has everything?
A bigger parish!
What's the two signs a Catholic Priest is a paedophile?
1) He's Catholic.
2) He's a Priest.
What do paedophiles pass round after dinner?
The under eights.
What's really the worst thing about being a paedophile?
Getting caught.
What's the difference between a fridge and a baby?
A freezer won't cry when you stick your meat in it...
Whats the best thing about sleeping with 24 year old?
There's 20 of them.
What's the best thing about rooting a 12 year old girl?
Turn her over, and you have a 12 year old boy.
Paedophile change: I'll swap you to fivers for a ten?
Two paedophiles are lying on the beach sunbathing, one rolls over an the other one says OI!!! get out of my sun!!
A priest, a paedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar...
He orders a drink.
What's the worst thing about being a paedophile?
Having to go to bed so early!
Why is paedophilia so popular?
Because kids are so fucking sexy!
What's the worst part about fucking a five-year old?
Washing the blood out of your clown suit.
What is round and bobs up and down in a crib?
A pedophile's ass.
How can you make a baby cry?
Wipe your bloody cock with his favourite teddy-bear.
Whats the hardest thing about having sex with a virgin these days?
Getting them away from the preschool.
What's the best thing about fucking a 5 year old?
Feeling his pelvis crack.
What did the Jewish paedophile say to the little boy after luring him into his car?
Hey, go easy on those fucking sweets.
I came all over a picture of Hannah Montana. It was on my 8 year-old daughter's birthday cake. I don't know why her friends were screaming. It's not like they haven't seen my knob before.
New Miley Cyrus DVD: £15
Tub of Vaseline: £3
XL Box of Tissues: £2
The look of disgust on the cashier's face as you pay: Priceless
Just finished wall papering my daughter's room with Hannah Montana wallpaper.
The paper was expensive, but at least I didn't have to spend anything on paste.
So last month's issue of Hannah Montana Magazine came with a free pair of socks.
Handy.
I just saw a box of Hannah Montana Kleenex tissues. Now, is it me or is that just the greatest invention ever?
All these sick old men who say they would shag Miley Cyrus are sick!
Get a life! Shes a teenager and way past her prime!
Darth Beaver
Meine Ehre heißt Treue
Comments
Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you are a paedophile, but you just haven't met the right child yet?
Being a Paedophile living in Liverpool, I try to attract girls aged 13 to 14. As these are usually the ones with the youngest kids.
Did you hear about the Jewish paedophile? He comes out from behind the bushes and says, "Hey little boy, want to buy some sweets?"
My wife said to me, "I've just heard some great news, apparently the police know who the local paedophile is and they are going to arrest him tonight." I said, "That's brilliant news. Let's celebrate by moving to Australia."
Three priests are out taking three choirboys fishing, when the boat starts to sink.
"We've got to save the boys!" screams the first priest.
"Fuck the boys!" roars the second.
The third looks nervously at the water flooding the boat and asks "Do you think we've got time?"
Little johnny runs into his mother and says "mummy can you show me a magic trick"
His mother replies "sorry johnny i don't know any magic tricks go ask your father"
so little johnny runs to his father and says "Daddy daddy can you show me a magic trick?"
His father replies "sorry johnny i don't know any magic tricks go ask your grandfather"
So little johnny runs to his grandfathers and said "granddad granddad can you show me a magic trick?"
His grandfather replies sure johnny turn around and pull your pants down, now can you feel me thumb up your arse?"
"Yes i can" johnny replied. "Look no hands."
A man and a little boy are walking into the woods around sunset. neither of them says a word, but as they’re walking, it’s noticeable how dark it’s gotten. the further and further they go, the darker and scarier it gets until finally, the little boy turns and says:
"hey, I’m getting scared mister!" the man looks down and replies:
"YOU’RE scared? I gotta walk outta here by myself!"
What's the worst thing about being a paedophile?
You just don't fit in.
What do you give a paedophile who has everything?
A bigger parish!
What's the two signs a Catholic Priest is a paedophile?
1) He's Catholic.
2) He's a Priest.
What do paedophiles pass round after dinner?
The under eights.
What's really the worst thing about being a paedophile?
Getting caught.
What's the difference between a fridge and a baby?
A freezer won't cry when you stick your meat in it...
Whats the best thing about sleeping with 24 year old?
There's 20 of them.
What's the best thing about rooting a 12 year old girl?
Turn her over, and you have a 12 year old boy.
Paedophile change: I'll swap you to fivers for a ten?
Two paedophiles are lying on the beach sunbathing, one rolls over an the other one says OI!!! get out of my sun!!
A priest, a paedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar...
He orders a drink.
What's the worst thing about being a paedophile?
Having to go to bed so early!
Why is paedophilia so popular?
Because kids are so fucking sexy!
What's the worst part about fucking a five-year old?
Washing the blood out of your clown suit.
What is round and bobs up and down in a crib?
A pedophile's ass.
How can you make a baby cry?
Wipe your bloody cock with his favourite teddy-bear.
Whats the hardest thing about having sex with a virgin these days?
Getting them away from the preschool.
What's the best thing about fucking a 5 year old?
Feeling his pelvis crack.
What did the Jewish paedophile say to the little boy after luring him into his car?
Hey, go easy on those fucking sweets.
Well, I be damned. I lol'ed
New Miley Cyrus DVD: £15
Tub of Vaseline: £3
XL Box of Tissues: £2
The look of disgust on the cashier's face as you pay: Priceless
Just finished wall papering my daughter's room with Hannah Montana wallpaper.
The paper was expensive, but at least I didn't have to spend anything on paste.
So last month's issue of Hannah Montana Magazine came with a free pair of socks.
Handy.
I just saw a box of Hannah Montana Kleenex tissues. Now, is it me or is that just the greatest invention ever?
All these sick old men who say they would shag Miley Cyrus are sick!
Get a life! Shes a teenager and way past her prime!