Ok so as some of you guessed, I have to go in for surgery to remove a twisted bit of my gut.
Not gonna lie, I feel pretty crap about it and my Family are really pushing me, surrounding me on the phone as I have to make the decision, saying "I'm not free anytime after so this has to be it" - bullshit, but yes, the surgery is tomorrow. Already with blood tests I have had to have Army Doctors hold me down because I "look like I was going to assault" the female Nurse (lol).
Now, the real question, what should I either
a) write on my stomach in a sharpie (might get blurred if I sweat a lot and they may need to wipe it off for sterile reasons)
or
b) write on an A5 piece of card (like a flash card) and sellotape to my stomach?
I was seriously thinking about mentioning my suicidal tendencies if they fuck this up (I will get a call today depending on how confident they are about it going well).
Need some funny jokes, and a serious message.
"So now after the anaesthetic, just put some sodium thiopental in me"
If I do wake up, after having my life flash before me last night, I hope they give me diamorphine. Morphine doesn't do jack.
So, any ideas? Let's get the cynical &T brain juices flowing.
PS. I hope they have WiFi. If not then I will see you in about a week. Depends how fast I heal up. The thought of missing a part of my gut gives me the creeps.
Comments
But seriously, good luck with your surgery and junk. Expect a warm welcome when you return to Totseans afterwards!
Here's what I'm taping to myself (personal info blacked out)
and I shall be drawing &ToTSE in sharpie somewhere. Also might write "Stop looking at my cock" just below my trouser line.
When I saw the thread title, too, I thought "heh, what retard can't even use grammar corre- oh...that's my thread"
Checking in in just under 3 hours. Time to gulp down a weeks-worth of Valium. Also shaved my head and was pretty self-destructive last night. Hey, if they're gonna use gas, which they have to with me as I can't be put to sleep with a needle (as it reminds me of a lethal injection) then I may as well resemble a Holocaust victim.
Yes, I aim to please today. I am also writing 3 guides so should have the time and peace in hospital (he says and hopes) to get them done.
Love you all :hai:
Provided there are pictures for proof. No homo, you don't need to involve cock... Unless you write it ON your cock, which would be even more hilarious. They wouldn't be able to stop looking at it.
I was there, pumped up and had no idea I wasn't even on the list for surgery.
Bunch'a pricks. I now have to wait until next Thursday at 06:30, when my operation has been moved to. Can't even begin to tell you how pissed off I am. Even my Mum walked out on this bint to avoid smacking her.
I hate to be a massive downer... but if something was to happen... how would we know? You just... never come back?
That's a good point, imagine how awkward it would be to have them remove your tshirt while conscious and have you explain your note there and then. Although this IS RemadE, he'd most likely have no problems spelling it out to the doctors anyway
This. I won't stop posting without giving you guys warning first, unless I end up in dead or in prison for some reason. Probably due to night opping or something.
As for Dfg, when you go to University, I will assume you are dead within freshers week - and hey, even if you do die, you'll have 72 virgins.
Win/win in my books!
That sucks. Good luck.
And yeah ShadyTroll, it sucked big time. I can't wait for Thursday to roll around, seriously. I have some mates sending me some of their finest weed and hash, and I'll be doped up on dilaudid or diamorphine on my laptop after an hour of surgery. Just a shame this "human error" occurred. If that woman is anything like this outside of work, her new marriage she kept going on about aint going anywhere - that's for sure.
Will update you as soon as I can (phone signal is shit there) or if I can get WiFi for my laptop, not a pay-computer thing so some MAC cloning may have to happen.
Fucking love you guys. I'm a lot more nervous this time as I got a letter yesterday of all days, saying there are further complications in my gut...in the area they wish to operate on. So yeah, great.
Also anyone remember Tordek Battlehamer? He is coming to visit next week and will bring some nice green, smokables with him
Gonna miss you guys if there's no or paid WiFi on the ward.
Time to gulp some Valium and morphine and get 40 winks. Shitting it.